I feel so alone

When I first got pregnant my “friends” were all happy and excited and slowly they all left me one by one. My partner showed happiness and excitement and now he’s barely taking any time to be a dad. He gets frustrated and mad all the time. He constantly leaves me doing every little thing. When it’s his turn if the baby doesn’t calm down within minutes he’ll give the baby to me. Doesn’t matter if I’m busy or if I’m about to shower ( I shower probably every 3-4 days bc he’s always giving me the baby. He works but still gets about 11 hours of sleep while I get maybe 3-4. On good days I’ll get maybe 5. I’m always night shift, always day shift he gets evening (6-12 but ends up sleeping from 9pm-7am) so I usually end up going the evening shift bc he refuses to help me with the baby. I’m cleaning up everyone’s mess (btw I live with two other grown adults). When it comes to money all my money goes towards my rent, groceries and baby ( no one helps with groceries, baby stuff is my responsibility obviously) but god forbid I buy a $10 item like a bath bomb pack or even just paints ( I used to paint all the time or sketch). I stopped doing self care because I just don’t have the time anymore. I’m constantly cleaning, and when im not cleaning I’m helping someone out with something or I gotta run errands. I only leave the house to run errands. I feel suffocated. I feel invalidated. I just feel like a shell of the person I used to be. I feel so out of place. I don’t feel like im worthless now. I’ve thought about going back to therapy but my problem is I don’t have time. Sometimes I get naps but I usually get a nightmare or I’m exhausted but I still can’t sleep. I don’t enjoy sex. Half the time I don’t like to be touched. I adore my son. He’s my world. I can’t imagine him not being here with me. But I feel so drained of life. Sometimes I wish my partner could take him for the whole day and just let me sleep. All day. Let me rest. Let me shower in peace. Let me have a day where I can just be alone and be lazy for one day. Recharge myself. Feel good. But I feel so guilty for even thinking I deserve a day like that. I feel like I’m a horrible mom for feeling like this. For feeling like I deserve to have a day by myself. No one to bother me.
I don’t enjoy much anymore.

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You got this, momma!. I went through a similar situation like you related to "friends." I learned that at the end of the day, you dont really have friends, and eventually, you just need to get some strength and take care of yourself and your little one. I don't know what your situation is, but family dynamics can help/guide you regarding the possibility of getting respite, and that may help you with all this pressure on your shoulders. Does your child have a swing? I'm just asking because when my child was born, he didn't let me sleep that much at all, and having a swing was a life changing and being able to sleep became a reality, lol. Another suggestion about your partner contributing to the childs care, maybe you can try couples counseling and they can can explained to him how important it is to step in a ve a "man/father" and not letting your burned down as having a child it is a team work and not just one parent. ✨️

I'm always looking for friends that can become a village! Its not easy having kids with what feels like no support so I'd be more then happy to help however I can

sadly when I got pregnant my family disowned me. Even after babes was born they didn’t want anything to do with me. Only my partners family is involved and even then they’ve made it clear they will not be babysitting. My only family is my sister who lives with me but she’s also made it clear she won’t take him for lengths at a time. Only if I absolutely need her to watch him and usually will only agree if he’s asleep. His godmother is the same way unless I pay her over $100 for more than two hours. I’ve brought up therapy for the both of us he’s refused because he doesn’t have healthcare benefits at his work yet as he just started a new job ( his old job didn’t give him any benefits and underpayed him). So it’s kinda a difficult situation.

I do tho want to go back into therapy as I need to start school up again next year. So my partner and I have talked about a daycare or something (heavily researched I may add, I’ve heard horror stories and the risks) while I go to school. There’s also a daycare right by his work.

thank you do you mind if I shoot you a text?

Just a suggestion regarding therapy, there are locations in Winnipeg for low income families, and you can get a few sessions and may be beneficial for your situation. Another option could be if you are a treaty, there locations as well that can help. I have the information for either or.
Regarding child care, make sure you put your childs name in the waiting list a head of time as the wait may be longer than we think. I wish you all the best with exploring this journey, just take one day at the time ✨️. Im here if you need to chat as well. 😊

Go ahead!!

Hi hunny! I'm actually trying to bring more awareness to the lack of support moms receive.. not sure if you'd be willing to fill out this survey! Not sure if you'd be willing to fill this out ❤️ https://forms.gle/kzMoBZYSc7Neu7Ba6

https://forms.gle/kzMoBZYSc7Neu7Ba6

Oh mama you are in a rough place but know your not alone. I'm am in that same place. I wish I could say it gets better but I can't. What I can say is it's time to push back in a oh so called loving way and say to Daddy it's your turn and don't turn back, don't feel guilty, and don't let him not try. It's hard and rough but he needs to learn and you need to rest. Sending love.

thanks for standing up for moms. I sent in my response.

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