SAHM vent

Me and BD live together. It was agreed in the beginning of my pregnancy that I would be a SAHM to save money. He stopped helping around the house some time after that. He works and then will come home and game for 5 or 6 hours. We sit at the table to eat and he stares at his phone. He has missed so much of the LO because if this.

I like to game too, I asked to have a couple hours to play with my mom (who lives across the country) a day. Usually before his normal game times. He will hold the our daughter for 20 min or so and then hand her back over because it's too much or he has to do something right then. Or if I am trying to juggle the game and the baby he will interrupt several times needing me to help.

Today i asked if he could watch her so I could take a shower by myself. He looked like I had beat his dog. Then told me he had been watching her consistently (false) every evening even though he works. And that he just wants to game. Then told me he wanted recognition for his care of the baby.

I'm honestly disgusted and defeated. It will all be chalked up to hormones in the end. If you made it this far. Thanks for letting me vent

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You need a proper conversation before it gets to a fight. How much would you have been paying for childcare if you’d gone back to work? That’s how much you’re ‘earning’ by staying at home, doing unpaid and clearly unrecognised/unappreciated work. Get your thoughts straight and when the baby isn’t around and it’s a quiet moment, tel him how you’re feeling without letting it get emotional. Hopefully he’ll respect you enough to listen. If not right then, maybe he’ll go away and think about it and realise that things need to change in order to be fair. Sending big hugs, I feel for you!

I’m so sorry love. It’s a big life change for both of you. Even within a marriage I know a lot of women feel this way. I’m not sure the dynamic of your relationship but I agree there needs to be a conversation. I would add into your conversation how much you appreciate him working so you can stay home. Men really thrive off of respect and positively reinforcing the behavior you like and want to see. Even if he is not helpful and driving you nuts, that will help the conversation. You’re doing amazing mama ❤️

Honestly hun. I think it's the norm for men they think they are so entitled just be cause they work!!! I'm in the same boat. Deal with the crap all the time. I just learn to ignore it and vent to my friends x

I have also tried talking but there's always a so called valid answer from him x

You can say "yes. You've been watching her every evening for about 20 mins. I do appreciate that. But it's really not long enough for me to have a real break and decompression from the other 23 hours and 40 mins a day that I'm on baby duty."

Then go get in your shower.

So sorry love. He needs a reality check. My husband was like this (with other things to do with household) and it took a lot of conversations and getting past denials to get to a place where he IS doing his part. I also basically had to tell on him to his dad (who's really responsible).... I waited 10 years to spill the beans. He's better now but it is a constant reminder with him. He is going to get therapy on his side to see what his deal is...all this to say; Therapy would've helped us move this a long a lot faster a lot sooner. It's definitely something to consider. Sometimes they don't hear us but they'll hear someone else.

in our community

Resentment and placing blame on partner

Firstly, please don’t judge me - I’m aware all my thoughts aren’t rational and I do already feel badly about them

I’m finding myself becoming easily frustrated, annoyed, and placing a lot of blame on my partner for many things. Now I’d get it if he was rubbish but he’s not - he has the baby straight away when he gets home from work, he lets me get ready and shower before he goes to work, he pitches in with the chores and gives me any time I ask for off. He doesn’t go out loads either.

I do a lot of the mental labour - realising we need more of and purchasing clothes, milk, groceries, deciding dinner, cooking, cleaning, thinking about what baby needs, etc.

However I just find myself annoyed and blaming him for so many things I find difficult. I know this isn’t fair, but it’s almost like I’m angry that he’s finding it easy and I’m not. Angry if I’ve just got the baby to sleep and he doesn’t think and closes doors to loudly. Angry when he doesn’t dress baby warm enough, or when he puts him in a car seat with a coat on. When he forgets a blanket or doesn’t wash his hands and plays with him. When hes snoring and I’ve just got the baby to drift off.

We have had many conversations and he has tried to take loads off me but it never feels like enough for me to stop being annoyed with him.

Am I experiencing some sort of post partum mental health issues? I find myself upset and crying a lot. any advice would help.

Nursery lunches?

My daughter is nearly 10 months old and starting nursery next month. I want to send my daughter in with lunches so I know shes eating healthy meals but I'm honestly so lost as to what to put in her little bento lunch box that will keep till lunch time and doesnt need reheating. Ive been doing loads of baby led weaning at home, but I tend to make it fresh or pull stuff from the freezer I've previously made and defrost and reheat.
Could you show me some of the lunches you've been giving your baby? Or have you been been letting the nursery deal with the food?

Parenting 24/7 is harder than going to work full time?

I’m having a debate with my partner as he’s done nothing to help since. Our 14 month old was born, I’ve done it all alone all day and all night. He gets a break when he comes in from work all night I never get a break
He try’s to tell me it’s harder going to work full time 5 days a week than parenting ALONE 24/7?
What do you think

What would u do? What should i do

So to try to explain this in the best way possible I have a very small apartment.
I opened my back door which leads directly to the laundry room of the building. Lately, I started bringing my son in the laundry room with me because he bangs on the door and tries to get out.

Today I opened the door to get my stuff out of the dryer. I saw I guess my neighbor putting stuff in the washer. It’s a very tight space so I closed the door and was planning on going back after he leave instead of crowding up the space with the baby. Plus I was in shorts and had no bra on, it was an older man.

I latched my door with the dead lock as I usually do so that I do not get locked out and I just left it that way without thinking about it.

I turned my back walk maybe about 5-7steps. My apartment is barely 15 steps front to back.
Turn around. Realize my baby is GONE he’s only 16 months!

I start yelling for him. I approach the door and I hear my son laughing…
The man had opened my door to lure my son in the laundry room with him without me knowing!!!!!!!

They were playing 🤯

He was there for no more then 20-30 seconds if that. It happened so fast, he doesn’t speak good English he’s polish
My door usually slams loud when closed, so this was done quietly…..

When I discovered that the man was with my son, I was trying to simply take my kid back in the house, but he continued on playing and I was yelling at my son that he shouldn’t be wondering without me.

No, first off I know for a fact, my son did not open the door number one. It’s very heavy and number two. He doesn’t know how to open doors yet.

And I asked the man straight out did my son open the door and he said no I did.

My son could get the door to open maybe an inch, I know that. So he must have done that and the man just decided to open it and bring my son with him.

I’m so outraged. Annoyed, uncomfortable. I live alone just me and my son.

What do I do?

I don’t know if he is maybe a visitor, I see his car sometimes but usually it’s another person who looks like him with a different car. Maybe my neighbors dad is my best bet.

Anyway. What should I do? Should I bring this to management. Should I approach my neighbor and figure out exactly who that was?

Thanks ladies wish me luck

Potty training ready?

Hello everyone I was wondering if my son may be potty training ready? My son is 17m almost 18m old. He is not afraid of the toilet and actually curious about it. He is always trying to rip off his diaper even when completely dry and once he gets it off he throws it around like 3 times before he walks away. However, I did hear one sign that makes kids potty ready is dry diapers at night. He still fills up those bad boys. So in all of your experiences do you think hes ready?

I live in a small 2 bedroom flat. How do I keep my home smelling nice?

Especially bedroom considering dirty laundry lives in there too. I do laundry once a week because I don’t use enough to do more frequent.
But I just want my room smelling nice and cosy.

The more natural the method the better ladies 😣
I open windows everyday. I don’t get enough sunlight for plants 😭