Newborn and Toddler

Girl i know how you feel i had a bit of help someone to handle one of them x but main thing is to explain 100 or even 1000 times a day that be gentle and show how to be gentle try get them involved with the newborn baby so they dont feel pushed away.
Happens to me they both cry at once i just switch my ears of soo i just ignore the cries and do what needs be done to calm them down and dont forget to breathe xxx

what do you do when she hits him?? How do you involve her?

My son’s 2 years 4 months and my daughter is 5 months. My partner works 14 hour days. Although I have not had to deal with hitting I feel you on the crying it’s a lot. It’s trying to work out issues for crying, generally I deal with my toddler first as he can be reasoned with and usually calmed the quickest and he is the one that is aware if I’ve dealt with him first or my daughter. However if he’s just in one of those moods or overtired etc and having a tantrum but my daughter is hungry for instance I will sort her and explain to him what I’m doing. ‘Mummy needs to sit and feed baby sister because we don’t want her crying do we. Can you show me your toy on the sofa or can we read a book whilst I’m feeding her’. I try and involve him where possible and always explain what I’m doing! It does get easier and is so worth it when they start to bond! Hopefully others can help more on advice regards hitting. I never did baby wearing much with my first but it became very useful this time!

I have a 9 week old and for the first month or so we had to deal with hitting too. Here are some of the tips I found helped:

- In the moment don't focus on the toddler/correcting the behaviour as even negative attention is attention and likely what your toddler was aiming for. Give a firm no and instead give loads of exagerated attention to baby, fussing them, asking if they are ok. Ask toddler to say sorry accept it and move on.
- Talk to your toddler about kind hands being gentle and really praise them when they do these well
- you may find your constantly asking your toddler to wait etc whilst your focused on doing something for baby which can frustrate them. Instead of trying not to do this focus on doing the same in reverse, letting your toddler hear you tell baby they need to wait while you hug your toddler, give them lunch etc
- If they both cry at the same time I usually find so long as baby is safe then it's easiest to focus on toddler first, give them a hug and then communicate it's baby turn

I read alot online and these are the main things that seemed to work. The hitting has stopped, and as a bonus my little girl has embraced the idea of taking turns and applies it to all sorts from sharing toys with her friends to sharing my drink. It definitely gets easier x

My daughter was about to turn 23 months when I had my son in June. I still try my best to never say for example: wait mum just need to feed the baby. Instead I try and say mummy will be you soon. If they both cry I usually tend to her first depending on. She’s only tried to hit him twice, otherwise she’s super good with him. Helps me with him, kisses him and plays with him sometimes. It’s tough but I have good and bad days for sure. ❤️