Am I the worst type of female?

I have a friend who I was very close to 5-6 years ago. I helped with her first son a lot because dad wasn’t around. Me and this friend end up just kinda distancing due to different life paths (I guess). Until I found out I was pregnant and she was also pregnant with the same dad from kid #1. After kid #2 my friend and the dad tried to work things out together but my friend continued to see her ex, so they broke up. My friend and me were still not close at this point. Our relationship since the beginning has been based on me helping her, but when I needed someone she wasn’t around. Even with this - I would have taken both of her kids in as my own if needed. I truly do love this friend and her children. There’s a lot more to this story, obviously. At some point my friend developed an addiction, which after a series of events led to her losing custody of her sons to their dad. I haven’t actually talked with this friend for months, probably this past June, other than an occasional random Snapchat.

The Problem:

I recently came across the dad on Facebook and added him. Fully expecting him to deny it, but he didn’t. After he messaged me saying “stay away with any drama” I explained that I was just genuinely curious about the kids. My kid was friends with them as well. Somehow this has resulted in us talking everyday and we both have admitted to “catching feelings” for each other. Obviously if my friend found out about this, she would lose her shit. The last thing I want to do is hurt my friend. But I can’t help but feel like what if this was the universe. How can you know who your person is? If your person is your friend’s ex/bd, do you let it go for the sake of a “friendship” with someone who you barely have a friendship with? I have always said I would never talk to a friend’s ex partner like this and I truly did not expect this to play out the way it is. I was thinking maybe we could set up play dates for the kids. But here we are. We haven’t even hung out yet but I just want to hear from people; am I the worst type of females?

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If you and your friend were on better terms I might say don't break the girl code. However since you and her are on the outs and it doesn't seem to be fixed anytime soon, I say go for it. Hang out and see where things go.

You said you haven’t talked to her in months, she’s an addict, lost her kids and yall haven’t been close for 6 years…I say do it. Shes not a good friend, your whole post says that. Why do you even consider her a friend? If I had a friend that decided drugs were more important than her kids we wouldn’t be friends or that whenever I needed her she was no where to be found, we wouldn’t be friends lol. I’m all for girl code, but there’s certain things that excuse it and I feel this is one of them. It’s not your best friend’s bd you’re “stealing.” It’s an estranged one sided friendship from 6 years ago.

Honestly i dont think theres anything wrong with this. You didnt go into this intending to take her man from her or anything like that and yall arent that close anymore anyways. Sometimes shit happens! I would be more concerned about her flying off the handle assuming she does have contact with her kids if she found out. I dont think youre morally wrong for this though

I don’t think you’re wrong. But I’d say it’s not worth it to get involved with him romantically… dealing with someone else’s kids is not easy and no relationship will ever be perfect. So you have to decide if it’s worth it or not. Cus if she gets herself together one day and wants to be a parent, at the end of the day those are her kids and that’s going to cause a lot of pain/suffering/confusion to you her and her children. Unless she somehow is ok with it than I could see it working but other than that it’s gonna be so hard.. and for me it wouldn’t be worth it. Bc there’s lots of people you could have as a partner and most, there’s gonna be hard work and the initial attraction always fades 🙃 i wouldn’t start anything you might regret.. lol speaking from personal experience.

Hmmm, please don't do it!!! I have many things to say. But unfortunately I am a lazy typer!

in our community

Can someone pls help i keep making this post and nobody is responding

My boyfriend booked a trip for us to go to mexico for a week as my push present. I have severe anxiety leaving my 7 month old with my mom. I know she will be in good hands but she’s exclusively breast fed for the most part but accepts bottles just fine. i have all my pumping parts packed and will pump when baby normally eats but i don’t want baby to forget me or have latch issues when i return!! any mommas ever experience this?

When does it get better?

I was crying on the phone with the perinatal mental health team today and the lovely lady, bless her, kept assuring me that it gets better. I kept telling her I hope so because people have been saying that since having my LO and it just feels like it keeps getting worse. She assured me it gets better....

Rant/WWYD

My sister (youngest, 24) has two kids, 4 & 1, and i (oldest, 30) just have my one who’s 6mo old right now, so i ask her for advice or call her to vent about things sometimes. Well im tired of her turning around and telling my other family members that I’m “losing my sh*t.” Literally have not lost my sh*t nor have i ever freaked out to her about my baby, i just call her to talk and tell her what stage my baby is in or talk through how im feeling, but she chooses to tell people that im like a complete nutcase or something which worries me that my family is going to start being judgmental about me as a mother or looking at me funny like I’m some fragile ticking time bomb.

What would you do in this situation? I’m already pretty much decided that I’ll stop telling her anything about my struggles, but I’m almost at the point where i feel like it should be confronted because she, of all people, should understand what I’m going through.

Rapid cool/ hot shot method

Sorry if this sound stupid but how are we doing the hot shot method?
Are we boiling the kettle and letting it cool a little before adding to hot flask? Then with the cool water do you boil the kettle and leave it to cool right down before putting into another flask?
My baby brain is fried trying to work out the easiest way!

Night time routine

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i just want someone to talk to😔😔😔😔

when things get hard i have nothing not any support from my partner im convinced he doesn’t even love me anymore but thats another story
I have a 3 yo and a 2yo that are in bed sleeping only just now. I have a 1 yo that’s been sleeping from 8 o’clock to 10 o’clock. I just gave her her milk and she would’ve gone back to sleep if it wasn’t that
I lost her dummy earlier in the day when I went out
so now she won’t go back to sleep and she won’t accept any of the other dummy’s i have!😔😔and it’s 10 o’clock and I’m gonna be up until 3 o’clock with her and when she does want to go to sleep i won’t have any dummy to give her she will accept and she won’t sleep without it i just wanna cry 😔i have nobody to talk to and i feel so alone i get no support from anybody i’m so tired and i don’t feel well to top it off😔