Please help with insecurity!

I will get straight to the point, I am incredibly jealous and insecure. I'm not excusing it or saying it is a good thing, but it is a fact. I have an anxious attachment style which I'm sure doesn't help. I want to be a better partner, because since I have had my baby my insecurity has been amplified. The most ridiculous situations are riling me - my partner commenting that someone on television looked pretty, him giving his brother's partner too much attention following the birth of their new baby, even him telling me about his teenage crushes. Sometimes I will even be watching a show ALONE and see a woman I imagine my partner would find attractive and become annoyed. Please please help. I don't want to be like this!
Like
Share Mobile
Share
  • Share

Show your support

I think I’m the same and I don’t know what to do :(

Therapy!

As recommended, therapy. But I have to say in my relationship we don’t generally comment individually about one’s appearance. It doesn’t matter to us because we have each other. There are times when I sit there and see this beautiful actress in a film or whatever and I comment on her. My partner just smiles at me. But I wouldn’t feel bad if he agreed with me. If I was constantly hearing “she’s fit, she’s so nice etc” then I would be pissed. Those comments do seem more about sexual interest for what someone looks like on the outside and may look complete opposite to me which would make me feel insecure. Idk how to explain it. When I make comments, it’s always about general beauty. It’s not comments insinuating it’s someone I want to get with. Everyone’s relationship is different and what they are comfortable with are different. I think the most important thing is trusting your partner he only wants you. I think we all can be insecure and compare. But if he didn’t want to be with you

Would he be with you? That’s the question I ask myself when I have my own moments. I know I can build insecurities in my head. Like my partner was a chef and constantly surrounded by beautiful young waitresses etc. I’d met some and others would shoot me daggers when I walked into the restaurant. I used to think they were jealous that I was with him but I actually think they were just jealous that we were in love and they didn’t have the same as us. Sometimes it’s good to look at different perspectives. Or you could talk to your partner so he’s aware of how you feel and he can reassure you

Teenage crushes is a red flag tbh. Your partner can acknowledge other people are attractive but honestly if he knows it triggers you, he shouldn't do it verbally. I don't think it's a bad thing to have boundaries around thst kind of stuff. But like the other comments say, therapy for yourself just cause your attachment style will help.

Read more on Peanut
Trending in our community