I just found out after all these years that my grandpa cheated on my grandma 😢

That was the one relationship that I felt was a positive example for me to look up to and try to live up to. They had 12 kids and were married until they passed. Now I’m learning the last years of their marriage were strained because of infidelity. Idk why I feel so let down by this!

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I feel you. I recently found out that my dad cheated on my mom when my oldest brother was a baby. I was shocked and can’t look at anyone the same, they all knew and chose not to tell me. It made me lose a lot of hope.

This is why I don’t react when ppl say things “relationships jus ain’t lasting like they used to” cuz we have absolutely no idea what our grandparents and the rest of the relatives and ancestors had been thru in their marriages to even try to compare. And unfortunately ppl are always blinded by the longevity of these old school marriages and also they think that the more kids these couples have the “stronger” or “happier” the relationship or the couple is (which often times isn’t tru) because children usually add more stress in marriages so it’s usually the complete opposite! My advice is to just have ur own relationship as ur model. Don’t look up to anyones marriages cuz u have no idea what goes on in other pplz relationships :) I’m sorry that the truth amhas come to light, I’m sure u feel like everything was lie, especially since ur grandparents are no longer even here to defend or justify their actions X

I definitely don’t think you are a pansy nor do i understand the sentiment… idk I feel like a lot of these older relationships were not as great as we imagined them to be I mean my grandma definitely had her secrets she kept to protect my mom from the truth of her dad (my grandpa) but i feel like it’s just the time… the history books in a way seem to glorify the older generations but a lot of women didn’t stay married for 50 years cuz the relationship was good it was cuz they had no way to divorce in a way that would keep them safe… I empathize for the older women of those times cuz they had it so much harder.. my grandma divorced but she also paid off the Catholic Church so she can remarry and not everyone could do that… but overall they were so isolated and the bar for men was low and no one questioning it… at least now days we have social media so that we can learn that there is better out there and that we don’t have to settle

oh that’s tough -your family keeping it from you 🥴

yes this comment hit. You’re absolutely right about not knowing about what goes on in someone’s relationship

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do