Money struggles

Am I doing something wrong/missing something? Me and my partner both work reasonable jobs. Partner is a PC and I am a biomedical scientist. Since going part time (3 days a week) after mat leave we have really struggled to afford anything. But I feel like we shouldn’t be struggling this much.

Is everyone in the same boat and just hiding it well? Haha After our mortgage/ utilities /childcare and food shopping we have nothing left and are relying on our overdrafts every month.

Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated 🫠🫠

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Yes, I'm a PM and my partner is a systems manager and it's ridiculous, a few years back we felt we were doing quite well but prices for everything are just wild. Groceries alone are apparently increased by 60-160%.

We are just trying to adjust through budgets for food shopping and being more frugal with shopping clothes, Amazon, etc

I could have written this myself! We spent £50 on our weekly shop and when it arrived yesterday I actually asked the driver "is that it?!" 😅

Most households need two parents working full time to stay afloat nowadays, unfortunately! We're lucky to be high earners but money definitely doesn't go as far as you'd hope 😕

We both work full-time and have good jobs and are high earners so we do manage but not as much as we did prior to having a baby. I'm finding It's definitely food costs that have increased so much and I think now I have a toddler who I need to make 3 meals a day for adds a lot to our shopping list. Things I wouldn't have bought previously like snacks and especially fruit which is super expensive soon adds up. Plus the nappies, wipes and all the other things they need.

Since all the inflation malarkey while we were all pregnant everything has increased in price so much. We have had to change so many things on our weekly/monthly shops to reduce costs, we weren't extravagant before but now we are definitely penny pinching.

Totally get this. My partner is self employed but makes decent money. I was on a good salary in tech but have now lost my job so that's fun. It is challenging financially.

I used to look at people around us and wonder how they were constantly affording stuff for their house, expensive clothes/toys for multiple children, multiple holidays a year, the list goes on. Turns out most of them are massively in debt to afford this stuff. We just go without.

I’m sorry we are all in this situation, but that does make me feel a tiny bit better. That i am not completely failing 😅

It is crazy, the cost of living is just so expensive. I hate to sound like I’m moaning. I am so grateful and lucky to be in the jobs we are in and to have a wonderful home etc it just definitely gets hard sometimes.

We are the same, husband is a GP and I'm a piano teacher. We used to be fine until recently, now for the past 3 months or so we're really struggling.

What we started doing is plan food/snacks for the whole week and try to do just 1 shopping. Then clothes for our son we try to get second hand as much as possible and use his child support for that. My husband also started investing and stock markets and that brings in a few extra hundreds a week which really helps, might worth looking into it if you're good with money

any tips on the stock market and investing. something I’ve been wanting to start but don’t know where plus I be the one that ends up loosing money 🤣 or advice on any good resources to read

in our community

My friend is over from another country but I don't feel like leaving the house

One of my old friend's is visiting where I currently live and we agreed to meet up today but I feel so tired and exhausted from everything that's been going on with me. I feel if I meet her I'm going to end up having another breakdown from the exhaustion which I have been having often. I'm just thinking about how I need to rest to be able to deal with my toddler and go back to work on Monday without feeling like I need another weekend. I'm torn on what to do so I need you guys to help me decide

Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Weaning

Hello mamas,could I get some advice please with how and what to wean as started this week with my baby but not really what to give and when what time day. Have started with puree vegetables and making them myself and offering it in the evening to my baby but she tends to get irritated and tired and has a few spoonfulls and then gives up and has a meltdown. So I’m questioning myself am I feeding her wrong time of day and what’s best to mix the food with milk or baby rice please.

Do I need to pay anything when my child starts school in September

I'm a new mum and obviously didn't grow up in the uk. I currently pay roughly £640 for nursery fees. I'm wondering if my expenses will reduce when my LO starts school or there'll be other expenses (besides bags, uniform etc) will my expenses be anywhere close to £600 monthly?

Primary Caretaker Resentment

I am the primary caretaker for my daughter, my partner and I live together & are engaged but I knew it would be this way as he works long hours. I’m struggling with not feeling resentment towards him when I’m responsible for 90% of stuff.

I adjusted my hours so one of us could be home with her some of the time (previously we both worked full time, I’m now part time), I do 5/7 bedtime routines a week, I feed her every meal & I plan her meals. Even though he knows what she eats, he always insists on asking me what to buy, he says it’s because I’m home so it’s what I’m happy to make but he knows it annoys me, he knows how long stuff takes to make, I just ask for quicker meals on the days I wfh.

He also shows no interest in her birthday, her first easter. etc. He says I’m the better planner but I told him it doesn’t come naturally to me & I wish he would show some interest in her first holidays.

I feel like I think about our daughter 24/7 & he thinks about her maybe one day as week.

For context: He works 9am - 11pm roughly Wed-Sun. My Mum has her on a Monday & I am off Tuesday afternoon so he only has her alone Tuesday morning.

He can be very helpful & clean the kitchen or sterilise bottles after work but we have gone through phases where he grumbles about this.

He’s always thinking of things to help me but they hardly ever involve him taking actions, I’m relying on my family a lot which is hard for me.

I feel as though it would barely be different if I was a single mother but I don’t know what I expect him to do given his working hours, it’s just hard to not get annoyed.