Mom burnout?

My baby is 7 months old and learned to crawl a couple days ago. He even stands up in his crib now instead of napping. Along with this came a sleep regression. Last night he woke up 6 times, drank 3 bottles, and I changed 4 diapers. He napped a total of 30 minutes today spread out. I was able to get a 3 hour nap in but I’m still so exhausted and I find myself getting frustrated and even angry at times. Idk how to cope with the fatigue and sometimes I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. The house is a mess, I’m anxious, and quick to anger. It’s causing stress on my relationship with my boyfriend and idk what to do. I’m a sahm and currently looking for a part time serving job to return to some kind of normalcy. I feel crazy and honestly the anxiety is making me feel sick. Sometimes I literally feel like I’m going to pass away from the stress. My boyfriend says it was my dream to be a sahm and I should be happy but most of the time I’m not and question why I ever even became a mom. I love my baby, but this is harder than I could have imagined.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Don't worry about the house. You need to focus on your mental health and the baby, the house can wait.
Have you taken baby to classes? That can help a lot with the mental side. Also get out with baby and go for a walk. It will help a lot with sleep.
Breathe, you got this.
Also talk to your dr about what you are feeling.

First off, you’re not alone. I’ve gone through very similar and even had to be hospitalized while my bf was working. If you can, get a maid or babysitter for a day/night just so you can rest.. reach out to family. Talk to your boyfriend about giving you a night or two. I’d also recommend meds.. they helped me tremendously.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way—you're not alone, and you're definitely not failing. Sleep regressions and big milestones can be so tough, especially when you're running on little sleep. You're doing everything you can to care for your baby, but you deserve support too. You're doing an amazing job, even when it feels hard. This “phase” of life will be over before you know it :)

I sleep trained him to two naps a day one at 10:30 another at 2 and bedtime at 7:30 and he did good with that for a while up until recently.

I walk 3 times a day with baby in his stroller

This is the 7 month sleep regression. Ours was exactly the same, bub learnt to crawl, pull to stand and cruise furniture. For us this sleep regression lasted about 5 weeks.

Sleep deprivation is HARD. You and your partner need to be kind to each other. He needs to do extra housework. You need to bring in family support if you have it.

unfortunately we don’t have any family able to help nearby but I may check with his mom and see if she wants to take the weekend with him. Since he’s in a regression and just learned to crawl it might be too much for her 😅

Yeah but can she come around and help clean the house?

she is an addict and she’s been clean for 12 years but coming to the town we live in triggers her bc it’s where she used. She’s only come like 3 times since the baby’s been born

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do