Did your partner stay in the hospital with you?

I didn’t realise they were allowed to stay? I thought they had to leave. If my husband’s allowed to I do NOT care what kind of chair he’d have he’s staying

My partner stayed with me for the 3 nights I was in the chair wasn’t comfy at all and just went home for a shower and fresh clothes and then straight back x

My partner for advised to go home as he wouldn’t be any use if he was tired but then the other 2 women in the ward had their partners stay and I cried because I was left on my own after a traumatic birth and major blood loss. And then I fell out with him because he didn’t come in first thing in the morning and to me that meant he wasn’t excited to see his child 😅 she’s 4 weeks now and I’m not as mad but it did suck x

My husband was only in with me overnight when I was in active labour.
I was induced on the Wednesday night, quite late on - he went home just before it, came back first thing the Thursday morning and then stayed right through til after our wee boy was born on the Friday. He went home the Friday night, came back early Saturday morning, went home Saturday night and came back early Sunday morning then came home.
Absolutely did feel overwhelmed and I was in a place where I cried it I thought too much about the actual birth at that point, but I’d also said to him it made sense for him to go home so that at least one of us had a decent sleep for when we were all at home x

I don’t think they’re allowed to? I had my own room and even at that my partner wasn’t allowed to stay past 10pm. He was there every minute that he was allowed to (I was in for a week after my son was born). Personally, I don’t know how I would feel if I was in a dormitory and peoples partners were staying over. You lose your dignity enough at the hospital without having even more strangers sharing a room with you … but that might just be me lol. Honestly, don’t worry too much about it. Those chairs are a killer and my partner ended up with a herniated disk from sitting on it for multiple hours. I know it’s hard but you will be home soon and I’m sure he will help out loads then xxx

With my first he wasn’t allowed to stay at all after the birth because of Covid restrictions. With my second he stayed for 8 hours or so after the birth then went home to rest and shower then he had to look after our eldest so I was on my own for 2 days

I had my baby at 00:35, my partner stayed with me until I was moved to ward at 3am but he wasn’t allowed to stay in ward, he came back at 9am that morning.

only three hours 😭😭

This is so tricky because although I understand his point of view, you were vulnerable and tired and maybe he should have talked to you about it at the time rather than just leaving.

My husband stayed with me but he got so little sleep and I felt awful. He ended up sleeping in my bed with me for a little bit, and then I got restless and we swapped so he could nap and I sat up with baby.

For my first baby, I would have been upset if he left, but for the next one, I might push that he goes home to rest because I’d rather one of us be working on more sleep and be able to swap shifts. I’d also know what to do if baby cries etc.

I don’t think you’re being self-centred, but I do think a conversation was needed at the time.

I think it’s good that you are asking for different people’s experiences & perspectives.
Personally my baby arrived a midday and my partner went home around midnight to get some sleep and a shower. As soon as he arrived back the next morning I handed him the baby and put my eye mask on to get some sleep. I buzzed the midwives multiple times for help through the night - that’s what they are there for 💛
Regarding your birth being traumatic- do you know you can request a De-brief where someone will go through all your notes with you and discuss what happened?

My partner stayed even though he technically wasn't allowed to. The midwives gave him bedding but told him he was to be up at 6am and not tell anyone he was staying the night. I had an easy birth but was a bit shocked at suddenly having a newborn 😅 so I'm really glad he stayed, the midwives were pretty useless actually, they seemed annoyed every time we called then for help. I couldn't bear being there so we left after 2 nights. I honestly think it's ridiculous that partners aren't able to stay the night especially for a first time mum.
I think you're absolutely right to feel how you feel, perhaps some more reassuring conversations with your partner are needed. You probably just need a bit more of a boost from him to show that he is there for you and baby and hopefully you'll be able to move past it and enjoy your new family.

I think it’s different for every hospital I used to live in Newcastle and partners arnt allowed to stay but then give birth in forth valley hospital and my partner was allowed to stay the full time we was there x

Definitely second this!
I was at St John’s in Livingston - went in for an induction and the leaflet said partners are welcome to stay but no bedding or meals would be provided etc, so definitely think it depends on this hospital, or maybe the health board!