I feel like my life is over🥺

I'm 32 & I have a 3 month old & a 7 yr. We had our 7 yr old before we got married. We had our ups & downs. Separated for a while, focused on ourselves & healing. Got back together for a yr or two & then married. Before we got married, I was under the impression that we had made it CLEAR we (especially ME) didn't want anymore kids. After we married, some how for some reason he changed his mind. We argued about it because my feelings never changed. I never wanted kids. I just couldn't afford an abortion with my first. When he got a little older, things got easier. I felt like I had my life back, I could actually do whatever I wanted & when & only had to worry about finding a sitter for ONE child. I grew up in a really strict Christian home. So once I got out on my own, I got ahold of the party life & never wanted to let it go. We both love traveling. I know I sound sooo selfish. He is 35 years old. He's constantly telling people he's a "family man" now, that he doesn't go out anymore etc. But I see the opposite. Ever since we had our son, my Husband is like CONSTANTLY gone. He sleeps most of the day because he's up till like 3 or 4, sometimes 5am. Then comes home, upset because I don't want to give it up some nights. I'm breastfeeding & I can't take all the extra touching sometimes. Then gets up & is gone all day, until like 1 or 2am. & I know he isn't cheating. We have locations on each other's phone for safety bc I used to do Uber. So I know where he's at all the time. It just baffles me that he practically begged me to have another child with him & he's barely here to help take care or the child at all. Then always seems to have a solution for me being so tired, to just "get up". Like it isn't that easy, I don't think he gets what I deal with on a day to day basis as SAHM now. I'm used to working all the time. This is new for me. I didn't even stay home with my first. He always suggests that either his sister or Mom gets him for me but I don't trust anyone with my son just yet, especially them. Could he be going through postpartum too? Am I being selfish? I love my kids but I just miss me🥺 I feel like my life is over.