I feel like my life is over🥺

I'm 32 & I have a 3 month old & a 7 yr. We had our 7 yr old before we got married. We had our ups & downs. Separated for a while, focused on ourselves & healing. Got back together for a yr or two & then married. Before we got married, I was under the impression that we had made it CLEAR we (especially ME) didn't want anymore kids. After we married, some how for some reason he changed his mind. We argued about it because my feelings never changed. I never wanted kids. I just couldn't afford an abortion with my first. When he got a little older, things got easier. I felt like I had my life back, I could actually do whatever I wanted & when & only had to worry about finding a sitter for ONE child. I grew up in a really strict Christian home. So once I got out on my own, I got ahold of the party life & never wanted to let it go. We both love traveling. I know I sound sooo selfish.

He is 35 years old. He's constantly telling people he's a "family man" now, that he doesn't go out anymore etc. But I see the opposite. Ever since we had our son, my Husband is like CONSTANTLY gone. He sleeps most of the day because he's up till like 3 or 4, sometimes 5am. Then comes home, upset because I don't want to give it up some nights. I'm breastfeeding & I can't take all the extra touching sometimes. Then gets up & is gone all day, until like 1 or 2am. & I know he isn't cheating. We have locations on each other's phone for safety bc I used to do Uber. So I know where he's at all the time. It just baffles me that he practically begged me to have another child with him & he's barely here to help take care or the child at all. Then always seems to have a solution for me being so tired, to just "get up". Like it isn't that easy, I don't think he gets what I deal with on a day to day basis as SAHM now. I'm used to working all the time. This is new for me. I didn't even stay home with my first. He always suggests that either his sister or Mom gets him for me but I don't trust anyone with my son just yet, especially them.

Could he be going through postpartum too? Am I being selfish?

I love my kids but I just miss me🥺 I feel like my life is over.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

Toddlers

How often are your toddlers asking for food? My oldest who is 3 just finished a whole plate of food and not even 10 minutes later he’s requesting more food. I know he’s going through a growth spurt, but how do you respond to this.