Really struggling ! Please helppp

My boy is also 4 1/2 months. The last few weeks have been tough for us. He used to sleep 6 hours at a time at night and thought it was great! They don’t kid when they say 4 month sleep regression is a thing!
I give some of my days time to reset and not do a lot at the moment. If I can try and nap in the afternoon when he is napping I will happily take it now. As at the moment, he is waking every two hours during the night. He will barely feed before just falling asleep, only to wake an hour or so later,
I’m really feeling the effects too, just try and get the sleep when you can. I keep having to remind myself ‘it’s just a phase’ and hope for better sleep soon 😅 but yes, others I talk to sometimes say their nights are great at a similar age. you’re not doing anything wrong, I always got told this age has always been hard.
I can sometimes see when he wakes up from having wind as he will through his legs up in the air. I’ve googled a lot about this age and lack of sleep 😂 xx

Hope you can get rest soon xx

Ohh gosh I'm sorry to hear I feel you! It's really tough.. thing is 6 weeks just doesn't feel like a phase I'm almost like is this a regression anymore as its been like this for sooo long hoping to get rest soon !! Thank you for sharing it helps knowing your not alone xxx

I know what you mean, 6 weeks is a long time. The only other thing I could suggest is trying a different bedtime routine? I do bath time and also learnt some techniques at baby massage to make them relax. That also helped with wind etc if your worried it’s pain. Other than that, I will happily welcome any advice too 😂💕

I've been going through the same for 5 weeks now. Not the screaming when awake, but waking every 1-2 hours all night and some of those taking up to an hour to resettle. Sometimes a 2.5hr stretch at the beginning (but as I don't go to bed at 7pm I don't benefit from that one). I haven't slept for longer than 2hrs in one go for 5 weeks and I feel your pain. I'm hoping it will get better soon- at least move to more like every 3 hrs (but my god would I adore having only 1-2 wakes a night).

I don't have any advice, only solidarity and from everything I've been told, just try to stay strong, ride it out and this phase will end at some point (although I've heard mixed things on how long it can go on for.. some people do say it goes on until 6+ months when they've then done sleep training). I'm not planning to sleep train so very much hoping it will end on it's🙏

@Sophie thank youu, yep i do bath and massage, maybe I'll try adding something else maybe or tweak it slightly see if it helps 🙏 hope you get rest thanks for sharing! Xxx

@Natasha oh I really feel you, very hard. Thank you for sharing it has helped me feel less isolated which is really important.

Just got to keep going. Tonight he's been uo every 2 hours inconsolable.. its really devastating to see as he's not normally thus distressed. I'm just giving boob each time tonight as it does settle.. I can't hear his scream any longer, it's torture 😢

The 4 month sleep regression can be so rough! They're learning to sleep as an actual skill and this will set them up for how they sleep moving forward. Comparison is the thief of joy, focus on your own baby and what they need not what anyone else's baby is doing.
If it seems like baby is asking for a feed then feed the baby. If you woke up thirsty in the night and were denied a drink you probably wouldn't be too happy either.
Babies are already hardwired to associate being nicely cuddled, warm and comforted with a full tummy and suckling with sleep, you're not creating that by feeding them. It's a process to replace it and some babies are more stubborn or simply not ready as soon as others.
Compare it to learning anything else, when your baby is starting to learn to ride a bike are you going to just take them on a pedal bike, no stabilisers, on a rainy windy day and watch them fall over loads? Or are you going to teach them to balance first, pop a helmet on, nice weather etc? How would you learn best?

@Adele thank you this is great advice! I usually never compare but when your so sleep deprived it just gets the better of you! But you are right I'll remind myself how it's a thief of joy every time I feel I am. Last night I just fed him each time as he was definitely more distressed than usual! He was screaming pretty much. Ill keep an eye on if it continues. Iv read up it can be behavioural but surely not at this age? I feel it was possible gas pains and he hasn't pooed in a couple of days so probs feeding loads to try and move it maybe? Trying to work it out!! With the teaching yo sleep when he's not distressed iv been trying putting him down and stroking his head which helps, he's much better at this during the day. I hope he can learn this at night at some point 🙏🙏

Thanks for your message xx

@Adele this just saved my outlook on the regression we're in!! thank you!!

It really does! I've just had my 2nd and realised how much time I wasted with my first and too much thought and energy I put into the wrong things! But I still have to remind myself too!
It does sound like wind and they do try to flush it out with more milk, maybe adding 10 minutes of massage into baby's routine before each nap and night time sleep might help 😊
It sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing teaching him while he's calm, fingers crossed for you he gets it soon 😊
You've got this!

@Taya I'm so glad it has helped! I had to go back through and take out all my smiley faces so that it didn't go over the character limit and then worried it didn't sound as nice as I wanted it to 🤦🏼‍♀️
But yeah, you will get there with much better results long term if baby feels happy and loved and supported through it all 😊. Our now 3 year old ended up coming in bed with us every night to get through it and we needlessly worried, people said we were creating a rod etc. By 1 his nap and night time routine looked like telling him to lay down and close his eyes and he just did it and slept brilliantly 🙈
Love and patience is all you need to raise children 🥰