How are you meant to celebrate mothers day if your spouse is working?

My husband is a chef and as mothers day is the busiest day of the year for resturaunts, he will be working a double shift like he does every year. It will just be me and our newborn, so im not sure what to do.
We arent big holiday people in general (both of our jobs usually have us working on holidays) so my husband said he would be fine skipping mothers day and fathers day like we skip other holidays but we became parents this year, and i want to celebrate that.
Idk what to do though as its just me and the baby. I guess treat it as just another day i guess? Also im kinda sad we wont ever have the whole mothers day card with his handprints on them and breakfast in bed kinda deal. I diddnt think i would care but im actually really sad about it.
His mom got us concert tickets for the night before months ago so him staying up late plus a double on the busiest day of the year he will be exhausted and not in the picture at all that day.
I guess just treat it like any other day?

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Take your little one out for a walk to get you out the house and treat yourself to a takeaway 🙂this is the first mothers day I've had when my partner isn't working. Have a bubble bath when little one sleeping enjoy some you time of possible 🙂 and of course cuddle with little 1 as that's what mothers day is about to me 🙂🙂

My husband is working today so took me and baby out for lunch yesterday and gave me a card then/did breakfast in bed, and nursery did a hand print card too. I’m spending today half at my in laws and half at my mums to celebrate them both as yesterday was my day xx

my partner works shifts, he’s off this year but i think it was last years mother’s day he was working, he tried to book it off but couldn’t, and what he did was he booked me and my son a table at a restaurant and gave me his wallet, then we would joke and say my son was paying for dinner (he was two haha) but it was nice having a mother son dinner out and my partner paying for it etc xxx

Personally I would make plans to celebrate it on another day. Maybe he can get you flowers and a card, and do a nice meal out as a family on a day that he isn’t working, and then do the same when it’s Father’s Day

My girl is 2, and I had plans I wanted to do today that just didn’t pan out for various reasons, anyway I ended going out and getting her a bike so I was up early went and got her bike and just to see her excitement and grasp her bike so easily made my morning. So doing anything that gives you pure joy is my suggestion even even if it’s popping out with baby for coffee and a cake, going for a walk in the sun or reading a book once baby is asleep

im not asking for money, all i said was a handmade card and breakfast.

i mean if that how they want to spend the day then thats up to them. Im mostly just looking for ideas of how to celebrate without the whole family being together while still needing to take care of my baby by myself. Plus feeling appreciated would be nice too. Just sad we most likely wont be able to ever celebrate as a family because of his work. We have been together nearly 6 years and this year was our first valentines day together becsuse of paternity leave. And they still asked him to come in that day

Hey my partner is doing nights I’m spending it with baby we’ve been having a lazy day all day in bed not moved or anything and I’m going to have a cuppa and relax with a favourite movie xx

My husband is also a chef and we just celebrate as soon to the day as we can with valentines / Mother’s Day etc. it’s just one of those things unfortunately, but it does mean things are less likely to be fully booked when we do go haha

not an option as my family wont be together on mothers day. Will take everyone elses advice and just ask to see if he wants to do something a different day

Me and my partner are just celebrating tomorrow I've had a chill day with my girl xx

My partner is a chef. It's also our wedding anniversary today but he got called in as someone else called in sick.
I'm use to it. Even at Christmas. We just pick the closest day to an event we are both off and celebrate then.
Lucky we got the morning and early afternoon together before he got called in x

This is exactly my situation! Other half is a chef and works holidays and weekends so any occasion whether it be mothers/fathers day, or Christmas we aren't able to spend together. Christmas Day I spent most of it on my own because he was working but we had a christmas dinner when he got home at around 6/7pm. We did the presents the day before.
For mothers day he gave me everything he'd got from him and our baby last night but we didn't do anything special. The card was a bit plain too because he assumes with me being alternative that I wouldn't be OK with a bright pink card, I did say that he could look online for alternative options. It would be nice to be able to celebrate it better especially because the road to becoming parents wasn't easy and I had 2 losses before having my little boy. It's difficult to bring up because he works so hard for us and I don't wanna seem ungrateful for all his efforts.

I completely understand where you're coming from! It really is difficult having your partner not be there on what should be a special day

Mum. MIL. Friends who are mums and single. Lots of ways. I split the Mothers Day into the whole weekend not just the one day. Because we have my Mum, his Mum, me, and then I wanna celebrate w my Mum friends too. Can’t do that in one day, but we do something in the name of, Mothers Day

Wife of a chef here too but I also run front of house as the restaurant manager 🥲 I’ve got 2 kids and I’ve worked every Mother’s Day. Honestly it doesn’t bother me, as long as I get a card and extra special attention in the morning I know my kids love me and I love them and that my husband appreciates me as a mother, I don’t need a “day” to celebrate.
Felt extra appreciated by a group of younger staff today that gave me a “work mum” card and a bouquet of flowers when I walked into work this morning. I realised how much I do for not just my own family but also my work family and to know it doesn’t go unnoticed is the best gift I could receive.
Spent 9 hours on my feet with no chance to eat (I allowed my staff a break don’t come at me 😂) serving lots of lovely families all out to celebrate their mums was a privilege to be honest. I’ve now got 5 days off with my 2 kids from tomorrow so I really don’t feel like I’m missing out!

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?