Marriage counseling

What is the “fairytale” in your head that it’s supposed to be?

I guess it depends on what the issues are and if progress is being made but that would likely be too long for me unless we had small issues that were resolved and kept going to keep our relationship healthy/deal with new issues as they came up

It’s just that we don’t communicate much, we don’t do things much with eachother. He thinks that us communication as friendly towards eachother is unnecessary and he doesn’t have the emotional space for it. What about this seems fairytale ? I thought it was the bare basics but I keep getting gaslit .

we’ve been at it for 9yrs and it feels like the same issues over and over and over again.

he says I’m blaming him when I tell him how I feel.

he was pissed to learn that since he decided we should continue couples therapy, I decided I would replace him with a dog to meet my emotional needs. Told me if I brought a dog home, I would be disrespecting him and proving that I didn’t respect him.

These all sound so familiar and our counselor doesn’t see it as such. He believes he is just working to pay bills and that’s it. Atleast that what he says because I act out and make decisions on my own. But he is always working and complaining he isn’t done with work. He told me my problems are my own and what happens to me emotionally , I need to pull it together.