I need to rant/have some validation!!

On Monday I was hospitalised with gallstones, and I’m not kidding - it’s pain on par with labour 😬 I was there until 1am, back at hospital at 9am for a scan, and had surgery to remove my gallbladder yesterday.

Each time I went to hospital I went alone, even though my kids were in nursery Tues/Weds and my parents came up to help care for them. My husband could have come but wanted to work from home instead.

So far he’s grumbled about:

Missing work
Having to look after the kids and dogs
Picking me up
Having to take the kids on a pre-planned day out (which I’m gutted to miss)
Having a sore throat

Idk about you, but if my man was in hospital I’d have a whole care package waiting for him. Flowers, snacks, new PJs, hot water bottle, etc. I’d be making him tea, coffee, toast, bringing him his medicine…

Literally nothing. No one has even made me a cup of tea or got me a glass of water. In fact he was moaning and groaning all night that his throat hurt while I’m in actual post-surgery pain.

It got to the point where I couldn’t listen to him and got up at 5am to try and walk off some of the pain. He didn’t offer to help me downstairs even though I was doubled over, didn’t make sure I was comfortable or ask if I needed anything… he’s still in bed saying he doesn’t need to be in work so he gets a lie in.

I’ve had such a rough week and for once I want to be the one to be looked after and spoilt 😭

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Like Keyshia Cole said girl "If he ain't gonna love you the way he should
Then let it go
If he ain't gonna treat you the way he should
Then let it go"

Wow.

A talk needs to take place. He really needs a reality check and start appreciating you and what you do.

and k Michelle said you can't raise a man!

Hell no. One thing my husband would do is drop everything to be there w me in the hospital and wouldn’t complain about a thing. U lost me at wanting to stay home and work. Throw him in the furthest garbage u can find (jk). But on a serious note this is not okay at all.

what song is this ? 😭

He should not be complaining and 100% should be looking after you. Any surgery is major and you should not be left to look after yourself. I could not imagine doing that to my partner.

As you were probably told there is a 1-2% chance of something going wrong . My partner had his gallbladder removed last year was home for an hour after the surgery and bled out. He had to be shocked back to life in the back of an ambulance. And was in hospital for 2 weeks. While I was looking after our 6 month old.

You never know what's around the corner. You should always look after your loved ones.

Wow. No, just no. You deserve so much better

I’m happy for you to message me I went through similar and mine turned into pancreatitis as well and then had to wait for surgery is wasn’t allowed to hold my little girl for 2 weeks or do much so it was awful

You should address this asap. Maybe couples therapy. Something major or it won’t stop.

My dad is like this. And my mom was diagnosed with cancer last year. Guess who acted like a fucking baby the whole time? My dad. While my mom went through chemo for a year and a major lung surgery.

Fuck this man up before it’s too late

Send him this post, literally copy and paste it into a message and have a conversation with him.
It reminds me of when a child hurts themselves or is sick so the other child acts sick or injured to get the same attention

hi Jody! It's Let it go by Keyshia Cole

I had gallstones three months PP, was so bad it was blocking my liver causing the start of liver failure. My fiance did not miss a beat, he stayed with me for days in the hospital, did whatever I needed without being asked. Point is there’s mean out there that would be there at the drop off the hat. Your husband should be your support system. I would’ve lost my 💩 on my man if he treated me like that in such a vulnerable moment

Thanks for letting me rant, ladies! I’ll give him credit where credit is due, he’s been working from home (work wouldn’t give him time off) and dealing with the kids the past few days while I relax. He’s not the most sensitive but he has stepped up

Actually, fuck that man-baby. He got
prickled by a rose bush and had a hissy fit because I ‘didn’t have enough sympathy’ for him, when I’d just got back from the doctors after bursting my stitches getting a tantruming 2yo to bed so he could go get himself some food. FFS.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

Calpol

My mum has just given my 4 year old calpol because he asked for it. He isn’t poorly (although was last week, been fine this week) he just likes the taste of it. My mum didn’t check, didn’t ask, just gave it to him and when I’ve questioned her she said “he asked for it”. Then quizzed 4 year old who said he asked for it because it tastes nice.

How would you react?