in September 2024 Babies 🇬🇧

How to Improve Bond?

I've been struggling with the bond with my daughter from the beginning due to a traumatic birth (wanted a natural birth but was made to have a c-section) and I've been trying so hard to seek mental health support, but I keep getting brushed aside and fobbed off with "dads matter" for my partner who isn't suffering. I just feel like my struggles are not taken seriously, but they want to reach out to my partner instead of help me, just because he's a dad. Idk it's just very unfair. I've suffered horrible PPD and I've tried so many different organisations and each and every one of them aren't interested in helping unless it benefits my partner, who like I say isn't going through mental health struggles and is actually very happy. I see his bond with our daughter and while I'm happy for them both, I'm extremely jealous because I do badly want that special bond they have together. What makes things worse is I have no family or friends, my partner is the only person I have, and he is very cruel and controlling towards me and is a big part of my suffering. What I really want to ask is, is there any tips or tricks or advice anyone can give to help me repair and strengthen the bond between my daughter and I? Is anyone else struggling with something similar? Thanks to anyone able to give advice x

Show your support

I suffered terribly with ppd due to traumatic birth (emergency section) which was only cured once I started co-sleeping. Co sleeping is the most amazing thing for our bond I absolutely love it and me and my little one are besties 🥰 good luck sounds horrible xxx

Where do you live? That's terrible that you aren't getting help and they only want to help your partner!! I'm so sorry to hear this! A few things to help your bond- skin to skin (even at 7/8 months this is helpful), baby massage, spending time doing things where you are face to face with your baby- singing songs to her or reading stories, if you don't want to co-sleep bringing her into bed with you in the morning and playing there (could do some skin to skin then too).

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this ☹️ I could suggest maybe try cosleeping, singing or dancing with bubs with some tunes on in the background (my son loves the vengaboys and the wiggles 😂) going out for walks and having bubs facing you? I hope it gets better mama, you got this and I know eventually she’ll be your bestie and want to do things with you 🥰💕

Thank you all for replying. All of this advice is very helpful. Everything suggested here are activities that I try and do with her daily. We cosleep, I feed her in bed, we do a lot of skin on skin, especially now it's hot. I sing to and dance with her, and I read her stories. I do a lot of face to face interaction with her, massage (when she's receptive), and we go for walks often. Even though these are things I'm already doing, I am still very grateful for the suggestions as they serve to make me feel validated and like I'm doing the right things. I think what's so tricky is that she is a mega mega fussy baby, and she spends most of her time crying. It's much worse when it's hot and there's lots of noise from the construction yard outside our flat. I so hope it gets easier. If she could just be happier and more receptive to the things I do, I do think we would both enjoy life and eachother more. I'm just not enjoying this at all because I feel our bond is damaged and fear she just doesn't like me.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌