Snooping around my husband Discord

Hello, I noticed my husband left his Discord account open on his computer. So I read some of his messages. I know he plays video games and apparently he plays with women as well. So one of the chats was with a woman. Everything was fine till he said let’s play a game and she said I’m playing with others friends. Then he said aren’t I your friend, then she said you’re my Daddy, then my husband replied with I’m your daddy now. Then, she sent a sweet emoji. Anyways I’m not sure how to feel, has anyone gone through this in the past? And well of course I have no idea who this woman is. They don’t display their actual names I guess. For the people that play Is this a normal conversation to have on discord?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

I am on discord regularly to play D&D with friends (I’m a nerd, let’s move past it) that is NOT normal. Discord is a place to chat about the game, they’re obviously flirting outside of that. I’m sorry

My husband has only ever talked to his MALE friends like this. Friends who I’ve met and are all 100% heterosexual. This is NOT normal to talk to someone of the opposite sex like this.

That’s not just “game play lingo” that’s full on flirtation and you need to call him out on it. It will start there and only get worse, trust me.

A lot of men use online games as another hook up app, definitely confront him about it because it’s not okay. Usually the other players live near you too. I used to game and my brothers are heavy gamers. People make friends and relationships on there all the time.

Definitely not good. If not talked about I can see this progressing to pictures being sent or “online cheating”. Even if he apologizes the temptation to message that girl would still be there and could keep going behind your back

I would definitely feel hurt if my husband was showing emotional availability to another woman like that. My trust factor would go down.

It only gets worse, they don’t stop. You think you can change them and get over it then a year later hes back talking to another girl.

That daddy comment is not ok. And not appropriate

are you sure this isn’t a guy friend he’s texting n not a woman? My husband does the same except with his friends who are dudes and it’s always just strictly joking like the boys being gay to each other type of thing, and also only do it in there group chats.

Absolutely not

How did you know it’s a woman?

it’s sounds kind of sexual how they were talking so seems weird that people talk like that

Def not normal conversation. I’d also check what servers he’s a member of too

I'm pretty sure she's a woman. I've read their chat history as far back as I could. He calls her 'Dudette,' and they've shared a bit about their personal lives. She knows we have a 7-month-old, and it seems she had a boyfriend at one point but broke up with him because, he wasn't a good guy.

I have no idea how to check that. I’m not very familiar with Discord. I basically was only on the chat section.

that’s not appropriate for him due to having a wife and child, my husbands a gamer and has never done anything like that

That sounds like the conversations my friend and her bf used to have when they met online on the game before they moved in together (they now have 2 kids together)

girl same I just woke up to my man playing the game. Heard him talking to someone turns out he was playing with my 2 brothers and his male coworker from his job 🤣

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do