Advice on what to do

My LG has a birthday party to go to tomorrow. she's getting a cold super snotty and super sneezey. Started yesterday, and she isn't sleeping as well. My partner told his mam and the person hosting party about her cold and we had said we will see how she gets on and if shes okay we will pop by for a little bit but if shes worse we probably won't attend as I don't want to make other kids sick and have them be off school etc. My partners mam doesn't agree and said we should go either way as if we keep her away everytime shes coming down with something she'll never do anything this is her first sort of illness since February so I don't agree and she then went on to say she and everyone would be disappointed if we didnt show up.
The host said she doesn't mind if we come even if shes worse, shes a very chill person anyways.

Am I right keeping her away so she doesn't infect other kids. It's not like she'll be sitting at home doing nothing we will take her to a park etc.

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Personally I wouldn’t take her.
1) because when i’m ill the last thing I want to do is go to a party so I wouldn’t expect my daughter to go when she’s ill and 2) I wouldn’t want to make other kids ill.

Like you said you’re not just keeping her home you’ll take her out to the park etc. if you were to always keep her home when ill then I’d agree with your mother in law but you’re still taking her out just not risking giving the illness to other kids.

@Lucy my problem was with the judging of it too and the fact she said she would be disappointed, I'm pretty sure she should be proud or something that we are taking a risk away yes it's only a cold but they spread like wildfire xx

Is it a family party? Is that why she’s saying she’d be disappointed? I honestly don’t think anyone would be. your kids ill & their health and comfort comes first before anyone else’s judgement. Let them be disappointed. Let your daughter rest and snuggle up 🥹

I personally wouldn't take her as she probably feels rotten so just needs to rest. I agree about not spreading it as a cold for your LG could be much worse for other kids or adults who are immunocompromised.

yeah, it's her cousins first birthday party xx

Your child your rules babe, when my girls poorly I keep her home, not just so she doesn’t affect anyone but when she gets poorly she don’t wanna do anything anyway she generally just sleeps the whole day I between eating and drinking, your honestly doing the right thing, don’t think about what others feel and how there gonna react let them be disappointed, there’s times where my daughters been ill and she’s not been too bad but I’ve still not gone and took her near other children xx

How is she feeling in herself? If she is feeling fine, then I would go. But if she is more restless & has not as much energy as usual, then I would keep her at home.

She completely herself, however when people are fussing over her she doesn't like it, her grandma will be there and she is constantly phone in her face picking her up and not letting her back down so she can get really wingey with that when shes not poorly so you could imagine it while she is, no matter how many times shes asked not to do those things she gets an attitude xx

Personally I'd be pissed if someone showed up sick to my child's party and spread it to everyone else. Like its pretty standard post pandemic to not infect everyone else even if its a basic cold. No one wants to be sick or have a sick child.

The host might not care...but I'd be surprised if other parents didn't.

Honestly if it were my kid’s party I wouldn’t want a sick kid to come. I’d understand that you wouldn’t be able to, and it’s better than getting all the other kids sick too

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.