Am I being selfish ? I set boundaries for baby grandparents but now our relationship is bad

You are most definitely NOT in the wrong! The way I see it is emotional manipulation because your boundaries don’t suit them. There’s no reason they should be reacting like that, you addressed your boundaries multiple times and they’re not being respectful. I know they’re your parents but they shouldn’t be reacting/ making you feel bad for what you want for your baby, trying to keep them safe! Especially that mental health is soo fragile after having a baby. I hope you are doing ok, just don’t feel guilty for it when all you are doing is protecting your baby ♥️♥️♥️

You did very well, stand your ground and protect your baby, recover your health! It’s not about them it’s about your LO! Help with strings attached is no help AT ALL!

honestly just the response I needed to keep staying strong. Thank you.

I’m so annoyed for you because this is exactly how my parents are it’s really disrespectful and act like you can let have a say about your baby and making you feel bad, you’re not wrong you’re protecting your baby
And don’t let anyone tell you how/ what to do or feel about keeping ur baby safe !

Good you set boundaries. It's hard that by text, they could have misread the tone. Maybe they don't know how to act now or maybe they're trying to respect boundaries (I hope) so it could be worth inviting them over soon :)

Stand your ground. And YES you can take care of your baby and yourself. Your partner should step up for everything that may be needed. Those who can't stand boundaries are the ones who only takes advantage of the lack of it. They are being very selfish here.

Don’t mind but yes you are wrong that is just pathetic when people say ‘don’t kiss my baby’ like they are your child’s grandparents if they’re not gonna show affection who is? You kind of took that love away from your parents I mean you should be grateful that your parents love your child my parents do so much for my 6 month old and it makes me happy my 6 month old is infact more happier with my mum than me

My dad kisses my little one I don’t mind in fact it makes me feel happy that he treats my son like his own same with the rest of the people who kiss my baby.

This whole kissing the baby and minding crap needs to go because I don’t think that is what causes rsv it’s all bonkers

You did everything right here. You don’t need to apologies. You were grateful and respectfully set boundaries. It’s emotionally immature of them not to accept them and get upset. At the end of the day, you need to do what is best for you and your baby, and if they get upset by that it is really on them.

wow, what a horrible response. She isn’t pathetic for feeling a certain way newly pp. Not kissing the baby is recommended for the first few weeks while their immune system improves. They can show affection in other ways without risking the health of their grand baby. They should respect her boundaries as the mother and still want to be there and in their life.

sorry just my opinion having a child doesn’t mean another person can’t love the child if they was harming her child then I would understand but they’re literally just showing the kid love how do you need to set boundaries for that I’m confused ?

like I said, they can show love in other ways other than kissing the baby and not respecting the mother

sorry hun but when you love someone you catch yourself accidently kissing the baby just saying

sure ‘hun’, but not if you’re fully grown adult who’s been specifically asked not to.

sorry I may sound racist but no wonder white people don’t have much support system

us Asians like to show love to one another it’s a way of bonding and having each others back we have family in our hardest times because we don’t ’set boundaries’

imagine if I’d said that the other way around…
I have a very supportive family who respect my wishes thank you.

good for you

good for you I’m happy for you

You are not in the wrong. I set boundaries around my parents too and am no contact with them now! Parents with fully grown kids are the most unhinged 😂 this is your baby and you choose how you parent them!

oh please don’t talk about my mother that’s none of your business what she taught me and what she didn’t are you sure you never set boundaries too?

as it’s a tradition for you lot

offcourse everyone sets boundaries but they only set boundaries to strangers not their loved ones I’m sorry but if you ask me that’s rude not me

wait hold up I suffer from anxiety to Bella but I don’t have anxiety when my parents touch my child that’s utterly weird and acting prestige

‘don’t talk about my mother that’s none of your business’ yet you continue to be judgemental and racist. The hypocrisy! Really digging yourself a hole here

I’ve seen people not allow someone to kiss their baby yet the baby still ends up with rsv it’s all bull hunny boo

my parents are my parents and strangers are strangers period…

I’m not being racist I’m show I’m open to my own opinion darling

Sure *

And also when I have a baby why should I push my parents away I mean they’re the ones who gave me life and raised me how can you set boundaries to your own parents who gave you life if my daughter said that to me I would be hurt just saying we can’t pay off nearly a quarter of what our parents do for us

ok so people are not allowed to kiss your baby yet I see a lot of you out the next day after giving birth make it make sense I’m confused like literally 🤧

I’ve got a 6 month old for your kind info and a lot of people kiss him I don’t stop them and I can promise you he’s healthy and hasn’t had rsv

if you think I’m being racist then I apologise

saying you lot, and ‘white people’ with all due respect, is. You can have an opinion, and be respectful. Clearly you need to learn that.

I apologise for coming across as racist I respect all people from all colours and backgrounds

You are definitely RIGHT. No kissing my baby or bringing randoms to my newborns home.

Not having the audacity to warn b4 coming, when I have a newborn who sleeps at random times of the day. Definitely do not give any water to the child until 6 months.

I get our parents did this with us, however they also could smoke in our presence and now we all know better.

Let them ignore your text. It’s their loss. They will miss mile stones. I would not even contact them until they made the 1st move. As they will be pushing their view points until baby starts university. The time is now. Nip bad behaviour in the bud.

I agree with you. It’s hard to set boundaries with family, but every time I didn’t, I gave myself unnecessary anxiety. So advocate for yourself and what you stand for.
It’s you , your wellbeing and your baby who is the most important at this time.

Your comment was actually quite rude. Saying it’s “pathetic” for parents to ask people not to kiss their baby and claiming they’ve “taken love away” is out of line. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean there’s no love—it means a parent is doing their job to protect their child. You don’t get to decide what’s right for someone else’s baby.

And just to be clear, yes, kissing a baby can spread RSV, herpes simplex virus, the flu, and other serious illnesses. These aren’t opinions; they’re medical facts backed by pediatricians and public health organizations. Newborns and infants have immature immune systems, and even a “harmless” cold sore or virus in an adult can be dangerous to them.

No one is saying grandparents or family can’t be affectionate, but affection doesn’t have to mean kissing. There are so many ways to show love that don’t involve putting babies at risk. Parents who set this boundary aren’t being ungrateful—they’re being responsible.