Don’t know if marriage is a good idea

Warning: mention of child loss

We live with his parents. They needed financial help, otherwise they couldn’t afford the place, and we wanted a bigger space since becoming pregnant.

Anyways, ever since becoming pregnant his mother has been unpleasant. Actually, before my pregnancy announcement she said that I was “fat” (she has at least 100lbs on me) and I responded with “well I’m pregnant so I guess I’ll be getting fatter” to which she said “congratulations”. Further into the pregnancy, she told me that I couldn’t buy stuff because it was “too early”. That I couldn’t paint the room pink because her son (my BD) is also in the room with us. And judging my purchases as being “unnecessary” and saying that I like “to waste money”.

Since the baby has been born, she has accused me twice of overfeeding my baby. Invited her friend over to BATHE my daughter. Saw me breastfeeding and my daughter holding onto my finger and she moved my daughter’s hand off of mine. Took my daughter out of my arms multiple times. Told me “no” when I asked for her back. Came into my room to rearrange my daughter’s things when I told her not too. And SO MUCH MORE. I kept asking my BD to talk to her and at first he didn’t. After two months he talked to her but she continued. After his mother FINALLY left me alone, her friend kept coming over, fighting her battles for her and accusing me of “hiding” my baby from her grandmother and said that I had my baby “locked up in my room”. Obviously his mother was giving her friend those balls and ammunition to talk to me about my own child.

Eventually we argued really bad and she said that my baby was going to die at the hands of a demon and the only reason why she survived was because she prayed for her. He said nothing. Then she said that she doesn’t care if I’m the mother. Again, he said nothing. And she ended it with “you could die for all I care”. Still nothing from him. He said he was afraid to say something and have it sound like he was on her side so he said nothing?

We’ve been together 7 years. And idk. I don’t think that I can marry him. I think about leaving him often after all of these occurrences. He says that he did stick up for me but.. when?

in our community

circumcision

are we circumcising our boys? or leaving that to dad?

Should I be concerned or am I overthinking?

My little boy is 15 months old, he’s recently taken his first steps and he says mamma and dadda and baba (he has said these for months) we’ve filled out the paperwork for his 12-14 month review and it looks like he isn’t meeting many of his milestones.

He doesn’t copy actions, point, clap etc. He doesn’t react when being spoken to, or to his name. He actively avoids eye contact.

He was so unresponsive to sound that we just had his hearing tested concerned he was deaf. They found that he could hear so he is just choosing not to react to any noises or sounds.

Has anyone else had similar experiences with their little ones? Should I be raising this with the health visitor and ask to be assessed for neurodivergent issue or a social communication problem like autism?

I don’t want to just slap a label on him, but I do feel that there are real concerns. All opinions welcome!!

Routines?

When did you start to introduce your baby’s routine? Do they just have a night routine or full day routine? Wondering when I should start this e.g naps at the same time everyday.

Any routines you have that work for you, please let me know them with timestamps. my baby is 6 weeks and just wondering when we should start them?

Does anyone else’s baby spit up breastmilk but not formula?

I’m seriously considering seeing a lactation consultant because I don’t understand why he can’t hold down breastmilk but can formula. I use soy formula since I’ve used it with my daughter and I’m thinking it might be due to not getting milk coming in for a few days so I had no choice but to give him formula, but now even if I take breaks in between feeding him breastmilk to burp or try to mix breastmilk and formula, he spits it up sooo much. I’m ready to just give him just formula because I’m worried about him not eating enough

Reflux

I need some help my baby is 6 weeks old and recently when I try and wind him after his bottle he’s not bring any wind up and just keeps being sick, I’ve tried infacol but that doesn’t seem to be doing much.

I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.