Struggling w/ Bedtime

I can't exactly put my finger on it but something changed the last 4 days and bedtime routine has become a nightmare... It used to be our favourite cause my boy actually loves water...

Our routine since he was 5-6 weeks has been calm play, bath, massage/moisturise, nappy/get dressed, swaddle, lullabies and bottle simultaneously then bed...

Recently we started doing arms out preparing for when he can roll over... Good thing we did cause he can roll just fine now - though not front to back...

This newfound skill is amazing but also frustrating for him. Any floor time turns into tummy time and he eventually gets tired but when you help turn him on his back he gets even more frustrated.

He also wants to put everything in his mouth. Clothes, bibs, my t-shirt, hair, anything he can put his hands on... I believe he's teething as well as simply exploring things with his mouth. Problem is he doesn't want to let go but if he doesn't let go he then gets overwhelmed by it...

So these two skills/obstacles combined, have impacted our bed time ridiculously much. He just wants to suckle on the cloth I wash him with. I squeeze the water and let him have it. Then he wants the small bucket. He's happy doing all this, then comes the time to get out, he gets fussy wanting to eat the towel which we eventually have to put away. Then he turns on his side to attempt rolling over while I'm trying to moisturise him... He won't turn around and stay still even 10 secs for me to be able to put his nappy on. Today I really lost my temper so I had to call my husband over to hold him still, it was mission impossible!
Edit: He also cries while doing all this cause I keep trying to push him back down gently...

Will this ever calm down???

It doesn't end there either. He loves his dummy during naps and now it's a thing before bedtime too thanks to sleep regression. I managed to take it out successfully several times but more often the attempts turn into him crying till he falls asleep since nothing, literally nothing soothes him other than that dummy... He eventually falls asleep crying and I feel absolutely awful that he was crying as he fell asleep.

I really don't know what to do...
So many people said to go cold turkey on the dummy... let him cry a few nights... My heart breaks though 😭

So what do we do from here??? Even if it's just a tip on how to put a nappy on when your baby is sideways and fighting you, I'd most welcome any help or ideas 🥲

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I personally don’t see the issue with letting him have his dummy for bedtime and naps at this age. I’ve got 2 babies and neither needed a dummy, but I know the NHS doesn’t advise you needing to start weaning off dummy until baby is 1 year old. When babies are under 6 months old, they rely on being helped to sleep. Like feeding, eating, playing, sharing, walking and talking, sleeping is also something which has to be learned. Don’t beat yourself up, you sound like you’re doing amazing with a consistent bedtime routine and not wanting him upset before bedtime etc x

I have a 2 year old who still has a dummy and a 4 month old that’s never had a dummy.
For us our 2 month cold can have the dummy as long as she’s in her bed on very tired in the afternoon in the car. No other time as I don’t want her just walking around/playing with one in for no reason. Plus at her age it really hinders their speech. We won’t be looking to remove it until probably Christmas when she’s old enough to understand and do the whole giving it to Santa.
The dentist said it’s fine for her to have a dummy while she has her baby teeth up to around 5 but that won’t be happening.

I also don’t see the issue with a dummy at bedtime. Let him have comfort with it and you might find your whole routine settles down. You’re doing amazing with a routine at bedtime it’s one of harder things to get into! X

thank you both I'm actually not against the dummy but the times I let him go to sleep with it he woke up crying when he dropped it... Tbh he's not that obsessed about it any other time and spits it out during naps after a while... There's just something with our bedtime routine now that's not calm or wind-down like anymore 🥺 I just pray that it's just a phase

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When did you start to introduce your baby’s routine? Do they just have a night routine or full day routine? Wondering when I should start this e.g naps at the same time everyday.

Any routines you have that work for you, please let me know them with timestamps. my baby is 6 weeks and just wondering when we should start them?

Does anyone else’s baby spit up breastmilk but not formula?

I’m seriously considering seeing a lactation consultant because I don’t understand why he can’t hold down breastmilk but can formula. I use soy formula since I’ve used it with my daughter and I’m thinking it might be due to not getting milk coming in for a few days so I had no choice but to give him formula, but now even if I take breaks in between feeding him breastmilk to burp or try to mix breastmilk and formula, he spits it up sooo much. I’m ready to just give him just formula because I’m worried about him not eating enough

I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

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