Guilt tripping

So basically our daughter was asked to be a flowergirl for a family wedding. Unfortunately with me due two days prior I didn't feel comfortable going to the wedding either heavily pregnant or with a newborn this is just my personal choice. Because of this my other daughter who is on the spectrum and severely anxious will also be staying home with me for various reasons due to the intense environment and as her mother I don't feel comfortable putting her under that stress. For context she won't even leave the house without getting upset and relys on me more so than my husband but we are trying to work on this. So we have politely declined and apologised. However ofcourse this hasn't gone down well which we expected to a point but we hoped we would have been respected in this decision. But so far we have been made feel guilty because of this decision. Asked several times as to why we won't be attending. Then being told how unfortunate and spiteful it is. To then posting pictures online of flowergirl items made for our daughter who won't be there with captions like our flower girls gifts for family so grateful to have family who are supporting us on our day knowing full well we obviously arent going. To bringing items to our house for our daughter that she obviously won't be able to use. As much as I feel terrible the situation is the way it is I have to protect my daughter and do what's best for our family whilst being heavily pregnant. 😫 Am I wrong but I feel like saying sorry we can't go should be accepted. Family or not.

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100% aren't in the wrong and are completely justified. Unfortunate situation. Would it help to offer to pay for the expenses of the outfit?
The Bride may be a bit peaved about the expense of it that can't be used or per head expense. Shouldn't be expected or required, but it's an honest good will gesture (not that you need another expense with the baby on the way). Family are tough, sorry you're going through it!

thankfully they didnt buy her a flowergirl dress I think they knew in reality we wouldn't be going. But yes Ive offered to pay for anything purchased as I truly don't mind id rather my daughter be happy and everyone just be content 🙈🙈🙈

This is ridiculous. How could anyone expect you to attend a wedding so close to your due date? You're not in the wrong here at all x

Im glad it's not just me who thinks this. 🙈 Bride to be and mother in law both don't see how I can't attend thankfully I'm not playing into the guilt trip 👌

Is this your partner's extended family? Is there anything he can do to have a word and help manage their ridiculous expectations? You have enough to do x

yes it is he's spoken to them before but maybe I should ask him to have another little conversation

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