Newborn trenches

I am at 17 weeks now with my first born, he is ebf and we cosleep whilst my partner works 6-7 days 8-12hours. Our families are scattered around and are at least an hour/hour and a half away from us.

For me things have changed, the challenges have changed. From when my boy was 5 weeks I was forcing myself up and out of the house, finding groups to go to so that I had mums to talk to that understood what I was feeling, we started cosleeping early on as my boy wouldn't sleep unless touching me. Depending on his schedule my partner would help either before work or immediately after work so that I could have an hour or 2 to nap or shower or doom scroll on my own and just breathe. Then he could go do whatever he wanted/needed to decompress from work, the rule was each hour he had to check in on us and if I needed him he'd take over for a bit. If it got really bad and I went to him he would stop to help.

The housework overwhelms me most days and I've found the groups I've been going to have really saved me

It's a flow of getting easier, then comes new challenges and it gets harder again, in new ways but you find a way of coping in your own way; you got this mama. It's a great big learning curve and man that newborn stage is tough. And just remember you are both learning together x

from experience I would say the first 3 months was the hardest part so far! I have a 16 month old now & everyone says this part is harder but I genuinely think newborn was! It’s very testing on a relationship, I didn’t think me & partner would make it but we did. It gets better each time they do their “first” , first smile, first laugh, first roll - it kind of brings you together. There’s always another milestone to look forward to. X

This is something I am worried about. My partner goes to work next week and I’m worried that this is going to happen to me.
Just make sure you leave some stuff for your partner when he gets home.
Let me know how you get on. Message if needed x

Hi Kasey, my heart goes out to you. The first few weeks are really rough! It's totally normal to be struggling and feeling everything under the sun. It must be even harder because you're more of less handling it alone. Could you speak to your partner about having your bubba after work every day so you can have some time to yourself? I found that really helpful.

The first couple months are genuinely hard, but I promise you have got this. Don't feel bad about complaining either - people make you feel like complaining means you're not grateful but that's totally not the case. You can be 100% over the moon about your baby but also hate feeling exhausted and not yourself! Feel free to message if you need a vent x

It’s very difficult I’m an 19 year old single mum it’s hard doing it mostly on your own I’m sure however your baby thinks the world of you your doing everything for that little one although it may feel different right now but you have got this it does get easier

It really is such a challenge, and no doubt you are doing amazing!

It does get easier! You find your rhythm, feeds and nappies start to space out. You get smiles and eventually chuckles from your baby which make the more challenging moments ease a little because you’re getting more back.

I found that getting out to baby classes or meets with other mums, really helped me as my partner wasn’t around in the week. We could all be tired together, and share our highs and lows.

When baby was a little bigger, I started cosleeping his morning nap with him, as sleep continued to be a bit of a challenge for me. But overall it felt much easier than it was in the beginning. And despite new challenges of beautiful chaos since crawling, I feel so much stronger than those relentless early days

You’ve got this ❤️

It really does get easier! The new born phase is hard because it's difficult to establish any sort of routine. Their sleeping and eating patterns are so erratic that even when you think you've got something nailed down they have a growth spurt or something and you're back to square one and your routine is out of the window. Have something to look forward to as it will break up the monotony but don't feel like you can't break these plans if you have a really bad night etc. I have taken my son swimming from 9 weeks and it was my lifeline for getting out of the house.

In many ways it does get easier but each phase brings its own challenges. I personally found the sleep deprivation of the newborn phase so incredibly hard.
Can your partner not offer more support? Have you been honest about how tough you’re finding it?
My husband still shared the night shifts with me even though he was working full time

I am lucky to have family close by but I also at the same time suck at asking for that help as I just have it in my head that I should just get on with it because I chose to have him. Mad I know…

He is a lorry driver and his shifts are so hit and miss. He finishes most days around 5/6 but can be earlier or later and he generally is good at taking over. Just hate it when it gets to the night part.

god I’m not looking forward to that 🫠

thank you hun, I appreciate it xx

asking for help is hard, but they'll want to be part of his life.. some of them will come round just to chat, some will do the dishes without you asking, some will bring food if you ask so that cooking dinner is off your list of things to do... some may come round for baby cuddles whilst you go take a nap, or do whatever you need to do.

My mum always wants to visit for grandson cuddles and does the dishes (I have to rewash half of them as she's not great at it but I appreciate that she tries)

yeah I am getting better at that, my mother in law has been good at offering to take him or get me out the house. She’s come round too and done bits. She only lives round the corner so it’s handy. Ahh yes I’m like that but with my partner sometimes 🤣🤣

my partner works as a lorry driver and his working hours start at 7am but never a set time on finishing so sometimes early sometimes really late. He does do his best at helping.

❤️❤️

you’ve got this ❤️❤️

that's good! I would recommend finding some mum groups, I have one I go to on a Monday which is a walk and talk around the park and on Tuesdays I go to a boob support group followed by mum and baby group... I now am friends with the mums and we go for coffee/lunch after and the monday mums have started coming tontuesday and vice versa!

So have a look at what's about your area and definitely try and give it a go

My LO is eight month this Sunday. All I can say is it will get better. You are doing great dea.

@Hannah I a thousand percent agree with this. The newborn stage is sooo hard. Have you got any support from friends or family? If so use it and do not feel bad. Again it was very testing on my relationship with my partner and I nearly ended it several times. It still has its challenges but we are a lot better than we were. X

The first 2 months were so hard it will get easier but there are new challenges all the time and set backs but it does get easier for periods of time