Husband doesn’t enjoy family time

I understand mama 😓 it’s like we’re just a trophy to them that they put on a shelf to let collect dust…

my husband does the same thing. I’m always afraid to ask him to help with our 5 month old because he complains and says “she doesn’t like me” or “you’re better at it than i am”.

I feel like this sometimes and that’s why I don’t get relationships😅 but it’s all learning life lessons and to grow you!

It takes two in a relationship! So if you voice it too him in a peaceful matter nothing changes then you don’t worry about him at all put all your energy on your son and you and I promise he should come around don’t complain don’t beg just focus on what can make you a better person/ mom

If a person wanted to they would. People are smart and you and your son are not a burden but a blessing.

I’ve been through this so many times and it’s been 5 years of aguring fighting and now he gets it he doesn’t fight no more at allll and I stopped fight for sure and made him work for us cuz how did I express my feelings to you so many times and you have me still feeling lonely and a bother like nooooo

Be strong mama a lot of moms be going through this.

Some dads are asses and some dads actual be going through it and don’t be doing what the wife needs

Yeh me personally I wouldn’t tolerate that too long.
I understand depression but get it checked out because that’s not okay.

If he keeps it up leave him if he won’t get it situated.

I'm really curious what his hobby is.
I went through the same thing with my partner. We're still working through it, but we have a lot more family time that feels genuine and not forced ever since I opened up about it

It’s making me feel really down. If we go somewhere as a family it’s like he’s doing me a favour or he complains about how busy he is. Like what is actually the point in these men starting a family if they don’t want to be there.
Then I’m burnt out from doing all the heavy lifting parenting responsibilities and he swoops in for a whopping ten minutes and is the fun parent.

And he genuinely thinks he does more than me in terms of responsibilities around the house. It’s a joke. No matter what I’ve done he’s done more, it’s that sort of attitude. He actually doesn’t understand all the invisible work that goes into looking after a toddler.

At some point, I stopped asking him to join us and just leaving to go out bc it felt like he was doing us a favor if I made him go.

Then he started joining bc he wanted to.

If it takes a while to change, get pictures and videos of your fun outing and make him feel fomo. Like "wave hi to Daddy!"

That's what I was told to do but we never had to. So I'm not positive it will work with you hubby.

Also, create a time when you're away. Go hide out in the car, whatever you can do to separate and make him watch the toddler.

Have your boundaries don’t ever let him do that and don’t ever let him make you think your doing to much or complaining cuz what. You know you and your sons worth

Yeah some men think the women take care of the kids and the house and the husband and all the husbands does it take care of bills and wants to be treated like he’s a kid

It gets like that in relationships but you have to know how to put an end to it lol this is deep to me cuz I been there girl I fought for what I have now

music, so it involves rehearsals, gigs and then admin stuff for social media. He takes it very seriously, too seriously. I try to be supportive as I know it’s his passion and it’s important to him but the fact that it’s all he wants to do and he feels like everything else (even his family) is just pulling him away from his ‘purpose’ is just bordering unhealthy

He’s my husband the father of my kids were gunna work out for better or worst even when I hated the way he made me and my kids feel it was all worth it

I’ve tried suggesting he speaks to someone or even gets bloods done as he’s always tired but he refuses and says he doesn’t have enough time.

Growing up was like this. My dad would rarely join us on family outings. My mom was a SAHM and he worked A LOT because he didn't have a well paying job in the 90s.

Looking back I think my dad is some kind of ND. My sister and I have it so it would make sense. I felt like he didn't want to do certain things because he wouldn't enjoy them. He would join for camping trips or bigger trips but stay home if we went to a waterpark or swimming.

I’m glad thing’s improved for you. I want things to work out but it’s really rubbing off on me. I live away from family and friends and it’s so lonely. He has his friends, family, music, job and I have sacrificed a lot yet he acts like he got the short straw

Raising a family isn't my "passion" but I still make it priority.
He has no excuse

I know mama 🫂 and voice that and if nothing changes the choice is yours. I went through mental health because of this fr and we got couples counseling.

Sometimes you work hard for what you want. Everyone has something bad/wrong with them it just depends how much will you allow yourself to go through for the person you love

That doesn’t make sense, he has time for this that and the third but not his family, wife, or check his mental health?

There’s more than enough time. Something’s definitely up.

Literally today I had to tell him to spend time with our 6 month old, after him moaning all week that he "prefers you" and "nothing I do is good enough", like ofcourse he prefers the person who does 99% life with him? Make an effort to spend your spare time with then? He then said he wanted to go to his mates for "an hour" (it's never an hour) at the busiest time of day in our house (4pm-7pm), so I said if you want but then I will be taking the evening for myself to do as I please. Then changed his tune because he wants MY time and energy on his terms but doesn't want to give HIS when I NEED it. I'm not forcing him to play his role, but I'm also not burning myself out to keep him happy if he doesn't

yep my thoughts exactly. Music comes first and foremost above health, family that’s the thing he needs to make time for. I get that music helps his mental health but at the expense of everything else and he’s still struggling even with doing the music so he obviously needs more help

I’m genuinely so happy that your husband treasures you and the kids. You’re so right, every woman really deserves it :(

we had this exact issue up until recently. My son only wanted to be with me and so he didnt want to spend any time with our son because he just wanted me it was a viscous cycle. Now our son is older and more interested in playing with his dad it’s improved… a bit. But he was so quick to say oh he wants you even if he’d just come home from work and had spent 2 mins with his son. He used to always start falling asleep if I asked him to watch him for a few minutes when he was tiny so I felt like I couldn’t take my eyes off them as it was a safety issue then. Sorry you’re experiencing similar

I know right? I love making art and I’ve not touched it for years now. It’s just not possible at this point in time. He doesn’t know how to prioritise or more like he does but I don’t agree with what he chooses to prioritise

Oh I can relate so much to this. With my husband his obsession is rugby. He works as a rugby kitman and coaches a girls rugby team. He would have time for rugby and the events that go with it. but when it comes to me and his daughter he doesn't seem to care. This weekend he didnt tell me he was doing something with the rugby lads. Hes been ignoring my calls and messages all weekend. Last week I said come to the park with us and he didn't show up. It's like I'm a single parent. And he won't take the responsibility for being a parent.

There Really May Just Be An Underlying Issue To That, My Husband Was The Same Way However Thats How He Functions. He Has ADHD & That Causes Him To Be That Way. Once You & Him Understands Him Then Itll Be Easier To Manage & More Communication With Understanding & Not Feeling Like Youre The Issue🫶🏽

I would be so annoyed! That’s terrible to ignore your calls and not show up. I’m sorry, you deserve better x

our son is autistic and I think he might be too. I never thought so before but since having our son I’m seeing things through a different lens. My husband is convinced I have adhd and I think I probably am. Tbh we suspect our son is too. So it’s possible we just aren’t communicating effectively and there is more at play. I’ve been trying to be understanding but he makes it difficult sometimes

Even If He Didn’t Have It As A Child. There’s A Such Thing As Developing It In Your Adult Years. I Would Advise To Do Some Research, Find Out What Irritates Yall & What You Need From Each Other & How Yall Can Balance It Out. So That You Guys Can Both Be There For Each Other & Support One Another. Always Remember Ik Times Can Be Hard & Get Hard But Handle Things With Grace & Open Mindedness, Allow Yourself To Try To Understand Where He Is Coming From & Vice Versa— It’s Yall Against The Problem.

So I tried the technique I mentioned this morning. I was about to leave it with my LO to the park. Then he said he would like to join us for our outing.

When we were having lunch there, he even said he was glad that he joined us today. I was pleasantly surprised by that and how he didn't rush us like he usually does.

I wish it was a weekly thing but I know that won't happen.

thanks for the info. I don’t believe he his a narcissist as he can be genuinely so caring and loving (why I married him in the first place) I just think he gets extremely stressed by little things and music is how he copes. I do think he is selfish a lot of the time too.

I’m glad your husband joined you and seemed like he genuinely wanted to. I’ll have to start doing the same, zero expectations, plan fun things for myself and LO, if he comes along great if not so be it