SAHM -Do you like being one? Did your mental health improve when you became one?

I think it could help u but maybe get a part time job too so u don’t feel like ur trapped at home all day

so technically I work part time now actually but it’s Monday - Thursday so it’s still 32 hours but i have to sometimes work Fridays maybe once a month cause my workload is almost the same as a full time person I’m just efficient lol so they let me do 4 days a week. So i get Friday off right now to recoup and get lots done in terms of cleaning, grocery shopping, napping and all that and I guess that’s almost my fear of quitting too is like with working i can take a PTO day whenever plus my Fridays but with quitting it’s me childcare 5 days a week so I won’t lie I’m scared of my mental health being affected and not getting enough breaks to decompress just because the fact is that I’m someone that requires quiet time to recharge. It’s just how i am :/ but working mom life ain’t it either for me and I’m sometimes just sad that I’m not enjoying motherhood at all from all the stress and constant go go go during Monday - Thursday. By Friday I’m exhausted and need to rest.

so that’s why was trying to poll some SAHM to learn if it’s actually for me and if I could handle it if i wasn’t working cause I just have a lot of fears!!

I went from working full time 5 or 6 days a week to become a sahm 2 months before my daughter was even born and I kinda hate I’m not diagnosed with ADHD or anything like that but my boyfriend’s mom is a nurse practitioner and believes I have ADD and I wish I just went to part time instead cause I would love to like 6 hours but only Monday Wednesday Friday and I would say if u do quit I would just look for a low stress job even one at a grocery store where as soon as u leave u don’t have to think about work until u go in again but also if u have enough pto to just take an extra day off each week do it girl u deserve

so for me it’s not really the fact that I think about work at home, we have amazing work life balance. I usually sign off by 3:30/4pm then head to the gym 4:30-5:45pm getting home at 6pm. It’s more the fact that i come home and it’s just extreme go mode with needing to shower, make dinner, meal prep my lunch for the next day, do the cleaning (cause my husband will live in filth if not for me) and then I put baby down around 8pm, then i make baby bottles for the next day and then do my toddlers bedtime which is basically me going to bed at the same time because she sleeps in our bed so that’s at 9pm. It just feels so nonstop 6-9pm and then i wake up at 5:30am to get myself ready to go to work then get my kids ready at 6:15am to get out the door by 6:45am. So nothing to do with work and more like the everyday grind that exhausts me cause there’s not really one second of down time Monday - Thursday that i thought SAHM life would help resolve

Yeah totally understandable idk how flexible ur schedule is maybe instead of taking like one full day of pto can you just come in late to work on like one or two days that way you can drop the kids off and then have some time to relax in a empty home?

i thought part time would solve my issues at first but i find it’s the same stress but one less day. I don’t think i could find a lower pay easy part time job cause then i would still need daycare but then couldn’t afford two daycare fees. I did debate finding a remote job but I am torn on going back full time. Idk if i can give up my Fridays off i almost want to stay where i am OR quit completely. I would totally do part time remote but i would want similar salary and idk if i could find a part time remote job that pays 6 figures :/ im honestly shocked i even got part time approved where im at because there really isn’t part time workers at my corporate job. Idk im confused :/ i feel like i change my mind everyday i just feel like i need to change something cause i feel unhappy right now and feel guilt with not being present with my kids monday - Thursday.

I have def thought about that too, like asking my manager if i can work Fridays and then use those hours the following week to either leave earlier some days or i can go in late. All i need to do is get to 32.1 hours each week to get my benefits. It’s just that usually by the time i get to Friday i want the day off lmao!! I swear it happens to me every week that i tell myself that ill work Friday to catch up or jsut to clock more hours for more money and then i can’t bring myself to actually physically work Friday 😂 sometimes i jsut feel like its nice to have the extended weekend! Idk! Definitely trying to think about what is best tho!!

I was the same way. It got to the point where it was making my new marriage come apart at the seams. Granted, I worked as a CO.. 5/6 days, 40-60 hours a week. By the time I got home, I would be in tears. The money just wasn't worth it to me. The luxuries from the paycheck felt like blood money and I missed out on all of that time with my one child at the time. My new marriage was suffering because I would just come home and be defeated, I didn't have energy for anything else. Because of all of that, my husband asked me if I wanted to be a SAHM. I jumped on the opportunity without a hesitation. It took A LOT of getting used to. I've always been on the go and it turned to laid back. I wasn't prepared mentally or physically to be home, and it took a couple months for me to find my groove. Once I did, I took advantage of all of the opportunities of being a SAHM. I don't regret it one bit. There are still moments where I think about going back to work, but then I think about the time I'd miss out on my children..

They're only little for so long, you can always return to work if need be ✨

okay I feel the exact same!! Like def affecting my marriage too. I’m just literally not a fun person like ever right now to be honest cause I’m always so dang tired and i go to bed immediately with my daughter. My husband stays up late and sleeps in whereas even on weekends I’m up early because i take care of the kids in the morning and I’m like we never see each other. We are just passing ships on two different shifts. Plus I’m always just low energy.

I think ive come to conclusion i need to make the jump and try and give it a try. I try to tell myself that absolute worst case after 6 months if it’s not for me then im sure my job will take me back or i just get a new one.

Every time I found myself "bored," I'd find another project. As long as my mind and body are moving, I'm okay. You could find a different room to reorganize/deep clean/ give a face lift (if the funds are there). Even when I didn't have the funds, I found cheap/alternative ways to make the room look better or feel better for me. That's just in my case, but it's an idea. I started homeschooling last year, so that fills up some of my time as well.

I literally felt like I was starting all over again in the beginning.. I was scared, because I've worked since before I could legally have working papers. I always "took care of things," but never took care of myself. After awhile, my physical/mental health became so much better. It's what my body, mind and soul needed. And I'm thankful for my husband seeing that before I did!

I made that jump!
I first downgraded to part time and then quit because it was just easier to be SAHM. I have 3  (4.5, 2.5 and 10m old)
The first four weeks flew by. It was a good detox. Now I feel calmer and more present with my kids. Don’t get me wrong - SAHM life isn’t all sunshine and roses, there’s still lots of screaming crying fighting cleaning etc - but I get to focus on it 100% instead of being present 25-50% of the time for my children. My anxiety was thru the roof when I was working full time and being a mother to 3 kids. Now I get to play race cars with my son, join my daughter for tea party and watch my youngest face light up when I give her a spoonful of vanilla ice cream. It was definitely hard to let go of the monthly income. But I started couponing and plan meals ahead for the week based on sales at my local grocery. Ever since I quit, I asked myself how the hell did I ever had the time to do everything?? No wonder I was always angry tired irritated at my family.

You have one life with your children mama, make it work for you and your family. Definitely figure out numbers and things to cut back on first, would be my go to advice 😂 but if you have the ability and opportunity, I would say try it out.

I’m a SAHM and I tell anyone and everyone that if you have the chance to stay home and see your kids grow and raise them yourself to do it. It’s amazing. Reading your to do list I think you will feel better. You’ll have to do the same thing anyway, you have no breaks now so now you just get to sit and play and be in the moment with your baby. I deleted Tik tok so I don’t scroll anymore, seriously if you’re scrolling that much to depress you you need to stop it anyway. Do it! You can always go back to work. Try it for a year?

I will say being a SAHM is mentally exhausting. Even though it is rewarding especially when they are so young. I am ready to go back to working even if it’s part time now that my child is school age

If it were me, I would keep working but ask your husband to do more cleaning, cooking, laundry, bath times etc. And/or hire a cleaner who can do laundry and stuff too. Then you can still enjoy your career and salary but be less stressed when you get home. Just an opinion!

yes same!

yeah I def think I want to go back working in a school eventually when both kids go to school and maybe not care about salary so much but get the same schedule as a kid so i can be off summers 😂 OR I joke all the time to my husband that I rather be a SAHM when they go to school so i can have that as free time 😳 half a joke but then the day is so short and you still need childcare cause school ends at like 2:30-3pm most days and that SAHM is still needed so can get the house cleaned and food made so when everyone is in sports and running around like crazy in the evenings the house is not in total chaos. 😂 but yeah I’m totally worried about the mentally draining part just with how i am and my fatigue issues :/ I’m tired now with working but i also get to sit down all day at work idk im so confused. There’s totally a part of me that wants to just try for 6 months :/ or worst case we talked about me getting a remote job to see if that helps my stress

Yea that’s my plan to work in a school that has same hours of my kid or find something remote that has some kind of flexibility. But I agree try it out for 6 months SAHM and see if it works for you. Maybe take a sabbatical.

It was honestly really tough at first because transitioning to a first time mom can be difficult, but if you have a village and community you’ll be fine. It’s nice to have time to tend to your home and make sure your child is well taken care of and fed.

Late to the post but for me personally I hated being a stay at home mum. I went back to work full time and enjoy my life way more now. The money gives us freedom to actually enjoy life and do nice things without worry and I needed adult interaction and time away for my sanity.

I also studied 5 years for my degree and have such a good, well paid job that I love. Stepping out and losing my job and possibly not being able to get my foot back in the door would’ve messed things up longer in the long run.

Personally I prefer being a working mum x