Would you be annoyed if you invited your kids grandparents over to your house once a week so they could see the kids and they just don’t ever show up

The effort doesn’t need to all be on you. It’s not your job to keep trying if your efforts are being thwarted. My family is similar, I invite them over and they’re “too busy” or the drive is “too far”. I just stopped trying because I figure, if they wanted to they would.

The grandparents come occasionally, but my sisters live in the same metropolitan area as I do (although they live westside and I live eastside, but still..) and they’ve only met my son I think twice. He’s almost 2 and they live in the same city 😭

Stop trying! If they wanted to they would make the effort! My MIL sees my girls every week and regularly has them for sleepovers while I work but my mum has seen both kids a handful of times and last time I asked if she wants to visit, she said the trains are too expensive 🤣. I definitely won’t chase anymore and she can miss out on the relationship. It’s not your job to make the effort, it’s theirs

I’d offer to meet up out for dinner sometime and c if they decide to show up my in laws hardly ever come over but they have a open door policy at their home but they try to c us in town instead half way between us . If they don’t even want to meet up I’d quit bothering . My husbands gma kept telling me she was basically butt hurt that they weren’t invited to my sons 1st bday party it was very small so last yr I invited her and she was “sick “ this yr I recently sent out invites nearly 2 months in advance and her husband RSVP yes and she marked no🤦‍♀️ I quit

i would say don’t waste your time. it’s not your responsibility to keep them involved in their grandchildren’s lives. they need to make the effort as grandparents. i have family members like this when it comes to my daughter and i’ve stopped updating people if they haven’t made efforts/don’t seem to care , and it’s crazy how quickly people won’t speak to you anymore once you stop carrying the weight. not going to beg anyone to care about my babies, if they don’t that’s their loss

I pretty much have let everyone show me what they’re “willing” to do, and if I think it’s enough, cool. If not, I’m not bothering. Like I have a best friend, I would’ve considered her, hasn’t met the baby yet. But makes comments like aww I wish you could just visit us with him! She lives 7hrs away, in the mountains, at least an hour from anything that would we could need possibly. Doesn’t check in on me, ever, or ask about the baby.
And I’m not doing all that for you to hang out with my baby for 2 hrs or something.
But I did drive 2hrs to a friends birthday for her kids because she’s come and visited helped and check in on us. Idc if it’s family. It doesn’t need to be all us trying to learn to be moms and also act like we have to beg them to care for our child. Nope

Both sets of grandparents went out of their way to let us know they would not ever come to us. We are allowed to come to them (both an hour away)

I feel this with my SOUL! I confronted her a few days ago that we haven’t spoke and of course. IM supposed to be the one to keep driving to her instead of her visit her only grand😒

For me, I'd communicate that. Sometimes, for whatever reason, ppl truly don't realize how selfish they're being. I'd let them know how I feel and that I'm always inviting them over and they rarely if ever show up. That if they want to be actively involved they need to start showing up or at the very least make the effort to invite us somewhere with them. It has to be going on both ways.

I'd also wonder, if there's a reason they don't want to come to my home but maybe they'd be down to meet us at a park or something?

I’ve noticed this with quite a few people. It actually really surprised me. For some reason some grandparents feel you should be going to them. It’s up to you to get them to grandma or grandpa. I think that’s probably how it was when they were younger,,,, actually in my case with who I know that’s exactly how it was. My kids are 15 and 13 and my dad has seen them maybe 6 times? If I’m up for the 4 hour drive (2 there and 2 back) then I’ll schedule it. If not oh well! You know where I live!

Decide what you’re willing to do even if it is one sided, do you want your kids to have a relationship with them? I would call once a month and say “hey can we stop by tomorrow at this time.” When you get there you can mention how you’d like this to be a regular thing alternating houses. That puts the accountability for the next visit on them. When grandma complains tell her she missed her visit.

I had to cut off my inlaws (hard drug use, violence, parasitic behavior) and my own parents (violence, 6 pack a day cigarette smoking, extreme squalorous hoarding) and have always vowed to put my everything into my husband, children, and home so I would never have to depend upon people who want to hurt me or my husband or children.
Cannot relate.

Keep offering, but don’t worry about it. They’re going to keep doing exactly what they’re doing - they’re going to not come, and then complain about not seeing the grandkids as much, and it’s all 100% their fault so just brush it off

good on you for acknowledging unhealthy behaviors and supporting a healthier environment for your children to grow up in

That would be annoying and I wouldn’t entertain it honestly, we’ve been staying with my mother and my mother moved us by my grandmother and aunt and cousins, they literally live 20 minutes away, but every time we go over there they make a big deal how they don’t see my son enough while I don’t have a car, ive invited them over multiple times and just recently they invited me and my son somewhere only to find out that one of my cousins were supposed to go and couldn’t and thats why we got an invite, it’s 20 minutes up the road, and we almost hear nothing from them or see them, I invited my grandmother over once a week and she made zero efforts to come, you have the right to be upset over it and I’ll say if they aren’t showing effort dont put in any either