Really want to know if this is extreme

My son is non-verbal and on the autism pathway. Last week, he managed to get out of the house and was found at the local Aldi. Luckily, the staff brought him back as we live next door. I’m very careful about keeping the doors locked and check them constantly, but my partner often leaves them unlocked, which means I have to double-check again and again. No matter how many times I explain how important this is, it keeps happening.

Today it happened again my son eloped and was found wandering the streets. Before bed, I locked the back door. In the morning, my partner left through the front door and didn’t lock it, so I went and locked the front. I had no idea he had also unlocked the back door, which is how my son got out.

I’m the only one who goes to meetings, therapies, and appointments because my partner doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with our son. I’m doing everything I can, but it feels exhausting and frightening when safety isn’t taken seriously at home.

I don’t know what else to do, and I’m even wondering if I should raise this as a concern with the police but I’m scared that might be extreme. Has anyone else been in a similar situation or have advice?

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I would call children's social care, they should have an early interventions team that can support you at home and teach your partner how to care for a neurodiverse child. Ive seen this in the past and parents become "good cop, bad cop" and its so difficult. Hope it gets better for you soon x

This is such a shame, i think it honestly depends if your partner doesn't't understand the risk he's creating or if he doesn't think it's a big deal. If he doesn't understand the risks then hopefully hearing it from someone else might help, not sure the police will assist unless something happens but certainly ask social services or ask if your partner will attend one of his medical appointments. But, if your partner just doesn't take it seriously, thinks you're over reacting or even doesn't care, I would maybe be thinking about wether it's safe for them to be living in the same house. Can you change the locks to Yale ones that auto lock and are usually placed higher up? Or add one? It doesn't solve the whole problem but I know it must be so scary him escaping and not being able to ask for help or tell anybody where he lives, especially if he he has no sense of road safety x

Can you get ring doorbells for both doors? Or similar cameras that alert you when there’s movement? I know it doesn’t solve everything but might give you at least a bit of peace of mind that you’ll know if he does get out. So sorry that he’s adding to the stress when partners should be the ones sharing the load. It sounds like your doing a fantastic job and your little boy is incredibly lucky to have you in his corner and advocating for him 🤍

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