My boyfriend forgot my birthday

I’m sorry I just need a vent… We both have a child each from previous relationships and moved in together on February. I’m currently 24 weeks pregnant. He is self employed and money has been low so I’ve mostly footed the bills, when we first got together he was on great money and he’d always treat me and buy me gifts which I don’t expect now because we can’t afford it following the redundancy.
But I specifically asked him to take my birthday off, and even expressed that in the past with my ex he’d regularly forget important dates and buy last minute flowers to stop me nagging, I don’t even receive a card from my daughter (3). It upsets me.
He knew he would be low on funds this month, I really thought he would’ve at least put like £5 away to at least get me some cheap flowers and a card but woke up to him leaving for work and no flowers or card in sight.
He sent me a message saying along the lines of “happy birthday, I love you so much I’ll make of up to you on Friday”. But he doesn’t get paid until Monday and as both have the kids on Friday, so how can he make it up to me?! Birthdays don’t change dates!
For his birthday (which is straight after Christmas and right before my daughters birthday so money is tight on my end) I went out of my way to make him feel special as he never had it growing up, I had planned months in advance to budget and take him on a night away with his favourite wine and a cake with dinner in an airbnb. I get him gifts and cards from his son on the appropriate occasions as his mum doesn’t get him gifts from him, so stepped up to do that too because I know every parent should get a card from their child… It sucks that he hadn’t thought of anything, not even a handwritten note. He’ll be back later and even if he does pull through magically with flowers it’d be on my debit card and really it just feels like an afterthought.

in our community

Do you ever think some of your mom friends are ungrateful

I have a friend who has both sets of grandparents nearby and they watch their kids full-time for free while she and her husband works. Since her kids were born. One set of grandparents said they need a break and want to go on a month long cruise and they’re actually mad at the grandparents for “leaving them hanging”. Like excuse me? You have had kids for 4 years you need a back up plan and show gratitude for 4 years of free babysitting.
Some of us out her with zero help and they have the audacity.

Do you feel like your husband/ partner puts the same level of care into parenting, cooking, cleaning etc when it’s his “turn” in comparison to you?

I’m having such a hard time lately because it’s become so embarrassingly obvious that my husband just doesn’t care as much as I do. I feel like he compares himself to his own dad or other men in his life who walked out or do the absolute bare minimum so in his mind he’s excelling, and that watching his mom struggle as a single mom doing everything growing up has conditioned him to be almost blind to the labor of women like it’s just expected. I’ve talked to him about this multiple times and it will get better temporarily sometimes but not long at all

Am I tripping 🤔

My friend wants me to watch her daughter 3 days a week 430 to 630 I told her I need $20 every time I watch her because I have 5 kids I have health problems am I wrong ? She saying she don't got it so I feel like I shouldn't do it then is that bad?

Is my child delayed ?

Recently had parent evening for my child (4 in June) and the teacher said she is not where she should be she does not know her shapes, letters or numbers.

My child is able to show me where shapes are on a poster for example if I said find the rhombus she would find it however if I i said name it she couldn’t,

On a number line if I said “find number 4 she would find it” but she is not able to count to 4 correctly but she could show on her hands 80% of the time.

She can recognise letters around 15 correctly but will not say the alphabet.

The teacher also mentioned she doesn’t hold a pen correctly but I have seen her hold a pen with pincer grip and use them in both hands correctly.

I’ll post an image of what educational based supplies we have in the Comments please tell me if we can add anything 🙂

Visitors

How is everyone navigating visitors once baby has arrived? I’m due to be having a c-section so I really want a quiet recovery at home. I’ve had major abdominal surgery before, and the last thing I wanted were visitors! I’d like to say no visitors for at least a week (2 would be nice), but equally I don’t want to upset anyone. I know my family will understand, it’s my partners I’m more concerned about.

My in-laws live an hour away, so I can’t imagine they’ll be happy to pop in for a quick visit, and both my partners sisters are 3 hours away, so I’m sure they won’t want to drive all that way just to visit for an hour max. I also don’t want to be bombarded by guests all at once, but how can we prioritise one sister over another. They both have multiple kids, so it’ll be a lot all in one go!

I get very anxious and overwhelmed by social situations, and I imagine I’ll find it difficult with the hormone shifts after birth.

Advice?

I don’t feel like a good mom. I’m a mom but I don’t feel as present as I need to be. I have an addiction to my phone ever since my son passed. Growing up it’s how I distracted myself and it’s just gotten worse. I use to be on my phone every now and then before but now it’s constant almost. I still play with my toddler but I get bored easily and I don’t look forward to doing stuff. I’m a couch potato who scrolls. I hate it. I recognize it and I hate it. I don’t go out anymore unless needed besides outback. I don’t bake desserts anymore. I feel lazy. Yes I have a therapist but I never say what I need to when I’m there and I have to bring my toddler so it just doesn’t work out how I imagine.

I’m trying to be the best mom I can be but I struggle. I struggle so hard and at this point I am disappointed in myself because I imagined so much for our life and I can’t even be the mom I need to be. Even my mom who lived in the living room and didn’t play with us at least was a present mom. I checked out. I hate it.