Feeling frustrated and angry with partner

So we are first time parents to our 7 week baby girl! My partner works shifts in an intense job which I know gets him down.

Recently, I’ve been feeling frustrated and angry with him for small things. For example, he asks to go out and take part in his hobbies whilst I’ve been dealing with a baby crying most of the day. She only wants me at the moment so I know it’s hard for him to feel like he can help, but I feel like him just being at home would make things easier. I sometimes feel like he doesn’t realise how hard it is to be the partner of somebody that works shifts and has a newborn-we also have a dog so it’s like having two children sometimes. We’ve just had a huge row because he ended up saying the other blokes at his hobby who are also dads, are able to go more often than him. It just makes me feel really crap. I’m finding that I’m snapping more often and with him being a very laid-back person I think he’s struggling with my mood swings.

Any advice or just reassurance would be great 🫠

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I wonder if the other dads at his hobby also have a newborn currently? I think your feelings are valid and caring for a newborn and the hormon crash after giving birth is very intense. He can continue his hobby in a few month but right now he should be there for you and your baby!

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I think your feelings are 100% valid, perhaps he doesn’t understand how you’re feeling and that’s why he thinks it’s okay to just go out and do his hobbies? He may also be struggling with the adjustment of not being able to do those things, is there a way you can communicate your needs and find a compromise with him?

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But there's many ways he can help, like changing nappies, burping, feeds (if bottle fed)... LO just wants you as a human pillow! Haha.

He could also be looking after you so that you can focus all your attention and energy to LO.

Also, if he's never there chipping in then she's not going to want him. She's been with you for over 9 months, he's still a stranger to her and needs to work harder form that bond.

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My husband works ridiculous shifts so I know how you feel! Feel free to message me as I completely understand how it takes it’s toll 😩

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Sahm .. the dad role .

Hi!! I’m 2 months pp. and I really would like your opinion on this situation if you have a moment.
So I have always had a job before the baby, and my bd .. not really. But 2 weeks before he was born he scored a really good job and I was able to be a sahm. Which is what I wanted , and I’m unsure if it’s still what I want or if the situation just isn’t right.
At first he was a great help in the hospital as I had an emergency c section. I was in the hospital for about a week and for most of that time I was in bed .
But after that.. I’m lucky if he will watch the baby while I shower .and I mean that seriously.
I am the only one who changes diapers, only one who bathes , feeds or watched him in general. And of course he may be tired after work but it’s like he completely avoids any responsibility. Like he will take a hour coming home and stop by his friends house otw . He will sit down stairs for hours knowing I won’t go down there bc I’m uncomfy . So I have the baby then.
We have been out maybe 2-3 times sense I had him & he refused to push the stroller c change or anything. In fact we got to the mall and said he needed to split up and I had the baby.
I feel he only wants the baby when it’s for … attention? Like to post the baby on social media or if his family is here he will take him .

I just feel like on days he doesn’t have work the next morning he should be helping , and if he is up early before work while I’m still sleeping he should get the baby instead of scrolling on reels for 3 hours .

Honestly he has really ruined my new born phase with my son. Within the first week of us being home I had to full on switch to survival mode I would call it. He would complain if dinner wasn’t done or if the room was a mess , he would complain if the diaper caddy had no diapers which really makes no sense bc he didn’t even changed the diapers . It was just everything.
I’m just wondering if there is anything I could say to get some type of help out of him.
I tried reaching out to his mother but honestly his hole family is oblivious to his behaviour.

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