So we are first time parents to our 7 week baby girl! My partner works shifts in an intense job which I know gets him down.
Recently, I’ve been feeling frustrated and angry with him for small things. For example, he asks to go out and take part in his hobbies whilst I’ve been dealing with a baby crying most of the day. She only wants me at the moment so I know it’s hard for him to feel like he can help, but I feel like him just being at home would make things easier. I sometimes feel like he doesn’t realise how hard it is to be the partner of somebody that works shifts and has a newborn-we also have a dog so it’s like having two children sometimes. We’ve just had a huge row because he ended up saying the other blokes at his hobby who are also dads, are able to go more often than him. It just makes me feel really crap. I’m finding that I’m snapping more often and with him being a very laid-back person I think he’s struggling with my mood swings.
Any advice or just reassurance would be great 🫠
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I wonder if the other dads at his hobby also have a newborn currently? I think your feelings are valid and caring for a newborn and the hormon crash after giving birth is very intense. He can continue his hobby in a few month but right now he should be there for you and your baby!

I think your feelings are 100% valid, perhaps he doesn’t understand how you’re feeling and that’s why he thinks it’s okay to just go out and do his hobbies? He may also be struggling with the adjustment of not being able to do those things, is there a way you can communicate your needs and find a compromise with him?

But there's many ways he can help, like changing nappies, burping, feeds (if bottle fed)... LO just wants you as a human pillow! Haha.
He could also be looking after you so that you can focus all your attention and energy to LO.
Also, if he's never there chipping in then she's not going to want him. She's been with you for over 9 months, he's still a stranger to her and needs to work harder form that bond.

My husband works ridiculous shifts so I know how you feel! Feel free to message me as I completely understand how it takes it’s toll 😩