why

I have this too, when my bd tries to contact me I feel sick for days and just filled with dread. I had it alot in the early days of my son bieng born, I wouldn't leave my house on my own because I was so anxious of him showings up and taking my son. When I was pregnant if I was around him I would vomit non stop and I didn't have sickness any other time. My therapist said it's all trauma responses xx

this is trauma. tell him unless he plans on actively being in this child life fr not just getting “updates” from you, or offering financial support there’s no reason to continue speaking to one another because it does not benefit your child or you. if he persists block him. he’s not being a co-parent and so you do not need to treat him as such

I feel that too like either resentment or just anxious. It got better over time but I still don’t feel comfortable. He hasn’t seen her too and she’s 14 m. He cheated on me when I was pregnant and I gave him a chance to see her when I gave birth and PP he just never did. And when he mentioned it again he went 1 month without talking so I rather hes not involved. Because he’s not consistent or helpful in any way. And I don’t want my child being attached to someone that doesn’t care about her

Don’t contact him unless he contacts you about the baby and asks about her. Because he should be asking about her and initiating the convo. You don’t owe him nothing. I found more peace and less stress when I distanced myself away from my bd and stopped expecting anything from him and stopped talking unless he asked me anything. But I feel like the trauma still stays nothing will really erase it but with time and distance it will get better

Yes similar happens to me it takes me a few days to recover/feel better. I’m not sure if your bd is the same but he’s really dismissive and mean so I no longer want to talk to him. Why keep talking to someone who makes you feel so horrible and doesn’t care abt your child. It’s only so much you can take and you need to be mentally stable for your baby.

I had this when I was pregnant and even worse post partum. I’d feel anxious the day before my ex visited our daughter and would feel sick/ tense the whole time he was there. I’d say it was probably because I felt so betrayed and hurt he left me - maybe it’s the same for you? I’d put my foot down with him though if he hasn’t seen your child why is he talking to you? He definitely doesn’t deserve the communication and updates if he isn’t going to make the effort to see his child.