Should I return the gift my husband bought me? Or am I being ungrateful?

My husband makes purchases without ever asking for my input and it makes me feel not involved and sometimes played.
I told him I needed a laptop and that I wanted to choose my own. He went ahead and got me a $350 laptop I would have rather put that money towards the actual one I wanted. He bought himself a $2000 laptop a couple of months ago and would never go for a $350 laptop.

I’m so grateful if his actual intentions were genuine and wanted to surprise me with one but I feel like he went ahead and bought that one just so he didn’t have to spend $1000 on the one I wanted and also he went above me and decided to buy that after I told him I wanted to choose one bc I knew he always makes my personal purchases without my consent.

I never ask for anything He always gives but I would appreciate if he would ask for my input. For example he has planned the past 4 birthdays for me and they are absolutely not what I would have wanted to do. And he usually always ends up ruining them anyways. I sound ungrateful but I’ve realized this is a control issue and after I have told him I want to be part of the decisions and he still doesn’t listen to me I feel like I need to make a statement and return the laptop.

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If he asks about it i would tell him you’re extremely grateful that he made the effort but at the end of the day it’s totally worth it to have the one you wanted in the first place.
This sounds like behavior i would accept from my mother but definitely not my husband.
It’s rare that i ask for something pricey but His gifts tend to show me that im the one he wanted not the knock off he settled for. He doesn’t seem to put as much effort or value in to you as he does himself… and that is a bit disappointing my friend.

You already told him that you wanted to pick your own, so you are not ungrateful if you return it. Just thank him and remind him what you told him before he even got you the laptop. I think is not fair to begin with that he put you in a situation like this when he knew better. God knows and you know the truth in your heart. The fact that you are concerned about this tells a lot! Kindly explain him and get the laptop that you need. 🫶

Return the laptop, you are not being ungrateful but it sounds like there’s more going on. Why would he buy you a cheap one and a nice one to himself?

My husband is not the best with gifts either. We’ve been married for 13 years and I’ve learned to give him a few fail proof ideas when it comes to birthday gifts. Plus any big item that I want, I just get it myself to avoid frustrations.

My husband and I don't make big purchases without talking to each other first. If he really wanted it to be a surprise, could he have taken you on a date to the laptop store? I also feel like I wouldn't want someone else (even my husband) picking out something like a laptop for me, because he's not gonna be the one using it, you know?

I disagree, you don’t sound entitled or ungrateful. Especially with the laptop comparison. You should be able to enjoy the gifts from your husband. I think it’s time to have that tough conversation.

You’re not ungrateful, some guys do this intentionally as a way of control. Then when you say something about it it’s you being ungrateful and nagging when in reality they treat themselves better than you, don’t listen to your likes and dislikes and needs.

We don’t know the full context of your relationship but if you’re always the one wit the short end of the stick and when you say something he tries to gaslight it catches an attitude.
I’d think long and hard frrrrr.

You’re not ungrateful, but it sounds like your husband doesn’t really know you and that you guys need to have a deeper conversation about that. Because if your husband is really being petty every time he buys you something then that also shows a bigger issue. I don’t want to assume that so I’m going to assume he just doesn’t know you that well and you guys need to have a conversation about that.

But it doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful and I would return the laptop and get the money back to put towards the one you want

I would return it. If its a control issye with him be ready for the shitstorm because he is not gonna like that! 😬 hugs and good luck

I would return it and get the one I wanted. I asked my husband for a nice bag for Mother’s Day and sent a whole list of bags I liked that he could pick from or use as inspo. My ONLY REQUEST was the he did not get a white bag or any crazy colors or prints since I wanted an everyday bag. This man ordered an Ivory bag and he got the address wrong so there were lots of problems with the delivery. I finally went into his email, found the order and that the bag was white. I got a return on a gift card and bought the same bag in dark brown. He was a little upset but I honestly did not care and he got over it. Your husband will too and maybe he’ll listen next time

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My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

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