Secret single mom

EDIT: I realize I didn’t put all the details in mostly because there’s a lot but if you’re confused, ask, because this is the short version and I talk too much.

I can’t talk to anyone for many reasons. A little background, when we were dating, my husband tried to break up with me a few times. I have eating problems and it’s been a big thing for him. When I was pregnant, he was emotionally cheating (watching porn and some other thing but no sex and no talking directly to people). I looked thru his phone at the end and found everything. One day just before I had the baby, I told him I knew and he spilled everything. He told me I could take everything from him and lose so much respect and blah blah but my dumbass thought we could try to fix it. We said we’d try and it just got worse. He stopped caring and I was a married single mom but he provides most financially because my job is slow (sales). I already have ppd and anxiety but trying to keep my family together and I also have to keep it a secret because we are in the military and not separating (financially and cause of the baby). This has been so hard and keeping it a secret is even worse because last night he told me he wants to see other people. Which is whatever I’m hurt but how is he gonna so that if we are gonna be legally married for a while? Now I have the baby 24/7 and he can go out whenever he wants to do whatever. It’s so unfair and I look gross now. I’ve always wanted a big family but now it won’t be the way I’ve always envisioned. I’m having a hard time letting that go. There’s so many other factors but I just needed somewhere to vent and say it. I’m so stupid for wanting to forgive and stay but I just wanted to family. But this is not the relationship I want my baby to see. He’ll still ask for a back rub but I tell him then he needs a wife cause I’m not doing it to a roommate. Anyone else in a situation where they aren’t telling their family about seperation yet or still live with your baby’s father and are trying to see other people?

in our community

Bestie where are you?!

Hey I really need to make some friends being a mom is so lonely. Distance does not matter to me (I can’t see waves)

I’ve loss it finally

Please help me good or bad advice I need it !!!
Quick rundown had my baby 3 months ago her dad was cheating on me all the way through pregnancy u til 2 months pp . I was depressed and sad along with pnd ! I allowed him to leave my house sleep about and come back I had no fight left in me I was broken emotionless didn’t want to be here . Fact forward to a few days after valentines day a male friend brought me flowers ex didn’t like it called me all the names ect but 4 days later begging me back I tried for our daughter but he’s put his hands on me twice in the month daily name calling body shaming
Then today we was out his friend rang him why we was in the car to say he has 2 girls for them to go link this was on loud speaker ! I lost my shit arguing we got home I seen red n went for him I then got the hammer & smashed his car windows . I know that was wrong but being goaded daily put down n body shamed made me hate him then I just seen red

Love my husband. Love my kids. But…

I’m 32 weeks pregnant with twins. I take care of my 4 yo, 2 yo, and 1 yo. I barely have energy to stand anymore. I cuddle and watch movies with my kids all day at this point. My husband is less pushy in this pregnancy in wanting to be touched or love up on me. But I feel more like a tool these days more than ever. He gets frustrated (not to a crazy degree) but I can tell he huffs because he’s probably sexually frustrated from me not wanting to be touched on. (my boobs are super sensitive atm) I love having the babies part, but the pregnancy also now has me feeling like a baby making machine. And a tool with big boobs made for touches and my husbands pleasure. Ofc I love my husband and kids, but with my hormones all wack, it really doesn’t feel the same when you’re not turned on. It’s so hard for me to get turned on. I’m uncomfortable all the time in my own body. Babies moving in there all the time. My children cuddle me all day but get rowdy at the end of the day, so I end up getting touched out and I can get irritable when my husband tries to touch me affectionately. He doesn’t have the tact necessary for me right now, when I wish he wanted to go in for a normal comforting hug I’m let down more often than not, there is almost always a boob groping involved as well. I tried to just let him touch me last night so he could get it out of his system, but he could tell I felt tense. Wish my boobs weren’t such an uncomfortable place for me to be touched. Idk why I’m making this post. Probably just to vent. Wish men were equally as emotionally intelligent as women. Wish I didn’t feel like I still owe him something because he’s picking up a lot of the house load and yet I still need to ask him to do more before these twins arrive. He’s tired every day when he comes home, so he takes a shower sometimes works out, and helps get the kids to bed. So it’s a struggle getting him to help any further than that. Weekends are my only time to get to him. But it’s a struggle to find time on weekends too. I know if he wanted to he would. But there’s just no drive.

Maternity leave Employment rights?

I have 6 weeks left of work and they have completely changed my job spec including my job title and all my responsibilities, they have done this ahead of advertising my maternity cover apparently to fit business needs which I am fine with but i explained as long as it doesn’t effect me before I go. They have now turned round and said they want me to do the training for it before I go and want me to sign a variation in contract asap. Are they allowed to do this? I thought you had the right to come back to the same job within 26 weeks and I haven’t even left yet and they’re changing it? I was going to see what the job was when I got back and go from there but now they’re wanting me to sign this change in contract before I go I don’t know what to do, do I have to sign it ?

Favorite recipe rn?

I need more ideas for dinner, what yall cookin up in the kitchen these days ?

Dads app!

I have been using this app for the last 6 months ish and found it brilliant for advice and making friends. My partner though doesn’t have any male friends who are dads and I was wondering if anybody knows of anything similar to this app that he could use to find some other dads local to us, to chat to/get advice/make friends etc. anyone any ideas? ☺️