Discipline

Good afternoon
I’m currently going through the same thing with my 12 yr old son. I noticed a change once he start middle school and when I had another child 2 yrs ago. I recently started punishment and taking away privileges. You have to stay firm and don’t bend. That’s a crucial age for boys and they need tough love.

I personally would give him the chance to start doing his work and turning it in before taking the games away. Tell him he had 3 weeks, to get his grades up, and if he doesn't he will lose his games. Don't tell his step dad if you are worried about him physically disciplining your child. 12 is waaayyy too old to be putting your hands on a child. I mean any age you shouldn't do that, but I can't even fathom putting my hands on, or watching someone put their hands on my 12 year old boy. Be on top of his work. Ask to see it to ensure it is being completed, and give him a chance to redeem himself.

First, I am concerned that your fiance has not independently come to the conclusion that hitting children is not a good parenting practice in general, and does not respect you enough to not use corporal punishment on your child. I also respect that people are complicated and one thing doesn't make him a bad partner or parent.
Second, your son is old enough to have a conversation about his grades and how to change them. I will always be grateful to my parents that it was the effort we put in not the grade that counted, so is he trying and something else is going on (bullying, mental health issues, ADHD, need a tutor etc) ask him to come up with three things he thinks could help with grades and implement them and do regular check-ins. I would also add to the conversation the clear consequences, if 100% of assignments are not turned in on time for the next 2 weeks the video games are gone until you prove that assignments are complete and turned in, try to pick what you can stick to.

I took his game bcus obviously he feels like his work isn't that important and the game is. He has had time tk ge this grades together, one of his teachers told me today ths the didnt turn in an assignment and that she told him she would let me know. I will take everything you ladies have said into consideration and use those tactics. Thank you!!

If my daughter was flunking academically I would see if it’s something deeper. It can be a learning disability or he may need extra help in certain subjects. Try to find out the root of the problem first.