Am I right to be annoyed?

My daughter is severely allergic to tree nuts. We had a family member asked about any allergies (obviously we told them) they brought chocolate pudding with pecans on top to thanksgiving. First off it’s not even good. Second why ask if you’re gonna do whatever the fuck you want?? Now I just think you’re stupid or inconsiderate vs going to my inlaws where no body asked and I just told her not to eat a specific dish. Like am I crazy? Why ask if you don’t care?

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I’d be so mad. I wouldn’t ever willingly invite them back to a family function again

Wtf is with people putting pecans on everything for Thanksgiving? I never ate a pecan in my life.

That’s honestly so weird and even seems passive aggressive of them.

They were annoyed I wasnt taking any home. Like I don’t need a hospital bill or dead kid 🤦‍♀️

Girl ??? Are they not supposed to bring what they want cause YOUR child is allergic 😭😭 I can’t

My mom is deathly allergic to walnuts. I would shove the food and it's dish up someone's rectum if they brought a walnut dish to our family dinner. I need my mom to not die from something so easily prevented.

I’m a home baker and I recently had an order where someone said they had a family member that was allergic to peanuts. I don’t know how severe but I would not eat or let my kids eat peanuts the entire week before the order and still would not guarantee that the cookies were peanut free. Like allergies are serious in my book. I get not knowing but like the fact that you knew and you just did it anyway it’s very annoying

My daughter is allergic to peanut and tree nuts and I swear so many dishes have nuts in them for no reason.
What an ahole to ask and then still show up with nuts.
My other daughter is allergic to eggs and dairy and it’s exhausting dealing with people who don’t know what ingredients they cook with. We’re not eating it if there’s any possibility of nuts, eggs or dairy and I don’t care about other people’s “feelings”.

I hope they simply forgot but I’d be mad too . My brother in law has a seafood allergy and he has to ask what’s in a lot of things and how it’s cooked bc of possible cross contamination. I personally provide dishes for get togethers that I don’t like bc they enjoy them at least but I’m not allergic like she is . I just don’t like certain foods such as pie but other ppl love them so when I asked I do bring them

I'm so confused.. this person seriously was like "Hey remind me what allergy your kids have?"

You told them very specific "Tree Nuts"

& they show up with a PECAN pie? GURL. that sounds like it belongs on SNL bc I'm SO LOST. she's a f**** 🤡

Like sorry what? Lol I'll just go f myself is what would be going through my mind

who would think to avoid specific bbq sauces bc of fish related ingredients ? It’s crazy what all it’s in .

My sister has a shellfish allergy. Like even if she eats something that touches it, she goes into full anaphylactic shock. And yeah every fucking year my cousin brings shrimp for thanksgiving. It’s just so inconsiderate

My first thought was they did it on purpose to be a dick

This is probably too generous of a take but I was looking at holiday chocolate pudding recipes and it seems a lot of them have pecan shortbread crust so maybe that’s why they put pecans on top? Maybe they thought it would be like a warning to stay away if the pecans were visible so no one ate it without knowing there were pecans in the crust? So like I’m saying maybe theyre just a dumbass

Reminds me of Hanlons razor

But also...maybe she doesn't know pecans are nuts? Like we can't assume everyone's level of knowledge 🥲

That would annoy me too. I have a life threatening peanut allergy that requires EpiPens and my mum started eating peanut M&M’s at my house once when she visited. I had to remind her that she couldn’t eat them in my house! 🤯

I voted understandable, meaning it’s understandable you feel the way you do! I cannot stand someone disregarding a food allergy!

I would be beyond pissed. Wow.

I’d personally be pissed. My son is allergic to peanuts and he’s a little Cookie Monster- if someone brings a dessert to my house, he’s gonna want to try it! And he’s only two so he doesn’t fully grasp the concept that he has a peanut allergy, so it can be pretty dangerous territory.

Literally why would she even ask? Just don’t put the mf nuts on..

I have an anaphylactic nut allergy to peanuts and tree nuts and no one ever UNDERSTANDS that just because ur not eating it it shouldn’t. Be there if ur there too, they just think the allergy is if you eat It! They don’t know about cross contamination can cause life or death or being around it!!

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?