Can I not tell my in laws I’m going into labour?

Absolutely don't tell anyone, protect your peace. Notify people after you feel ready to go on your phone

Id tell her after to save my sanity lol

I meant dont tell her sorry baby brain 🙈

Your peace comes first! Period!

We didnt tell anyone at all because I didn’t want my MIL to be calling every 10 minutes. Acted like we wanted it to be a surprise for everyone. I agree with the comments above.

We’ve been arguing about it for about a month, he’s still going to tell her 😭

I’m sorry but if your husband can’t see how this has taken a toll on you and how you need to heal, he needs to have a good think about what he said. Definitely don’t tell her if that’s how she is, I’m so sorry you had to experience that. Also your husband should respect boundaries that you set, considering you are the one delivering the child. You need time to recover you don’t need theatrics and narcissism. And you literally have OCD which is a condition and he should seriously be defending you to protect you and your health

Pffrt. I wouldn’t tell her you’re in labour for a good two weeks after!

And if you can’t trust him to keep his mouth shut, I wouldn’t fucking tell him either!

Everyone knew when I went in because it was an induction, but they were all informed they were not to come to the hospital until or unless asked. We also told the hospital no visitors.
No one in either of our families tried anything but most hospitals will have a place to put approved visitors for labor and for we just said none.

Well if he can make sure that you get what you need and keep her away and not near you , then you can both be happy but if he can't control his mother then I don't know he obviously isn't keeping you in mind and that's disrespectful and uncaring

If he tells her then he can't come into the delivery room either.

I wouldn’t say a word till your home with baby 😅 I’m not chancing that kind of bs toddler tantrum a second time

You need to do what’s best for you and baby. I can’t believe your husband isn’t supporting you in this. Put your foot down. Sending you strength and well wishes.

Protect your peace and don’t tell her. I only told my mum and that’s because she was coming with me while my husband stayed home with our 1yo. His family weren’t very happy, even more annoyed when I didn’t have visitors for about 6 weeks 😂 they got over it eventually

Where do you live? Do you need a body guard? ♥️

If he insists on telling her you may have to find a way to not tell him. Get yourself a doula and sneak off when you need to. He should know that the stress his mother brings will affect your ability to labour, if he can't respect that he can't be present either

Soooo why did I select “don’t tell her” before reading and I was right. Anyways, you’re not wrong. You need to not be stressed out while giving birth and your husband should respect that

Omg do not tell her. I got secondhand stress even reading that. Don’t tell her and birth your baby in peace. Make sure your husband is on board so he doesn’t spill.

Unfair on her because she’s the one who impregnated you? Or was there holding your hand during conception? This has nothing to do with anyone other than you and your husband whom you made your child with, and you have every right to withhold or share information as you please. She’ll live if she doesn’t witness the birth of her grandchild. Kmt dont tell her nothing till after the baby comes imo.

We didn’t tell anyone first time round as it happened too quick plus it was in the middle of the night. Second time round my dad needed to babysit my son. Who is looking after your child when you go into labour? I agree with not telling her unless there are complications and he needs the support from someone.

The only other person who needs to know is the one who is watching your first born. I don't get the labour announcement, you can be in labour for days! Why would you want ppl messaging/ ringing all the time to see how you are? It's a peaceful time for you and your body to relax and cope with birth

Make sure you tell the hospital staff as soon as you get to the hospital that they’re not to let any visitors in without YOUR explicit permission, not your husbands

Tbh I am looking at this from your hubby's side, as women here and mothers wpuld we really want our sons to lie to us, on request of their partner? I'd give her a chance to prove herself in a sya that ensures your hubby doesn't have to lie. 'We'll tell you when she is in labour and update you as we think is reasonable, if you chase us beyond what we think is reasonable we'll be ignoring you or blocking you until we are ready to communicate again' .

I would either not tell her or turn all your phones off and tell the hospital not to allow her in

You don't have to tell anyone when you are in labour. Your husband should be on your side, no questions asked and doing what is right for you.

I didn’t tell no one, no one’s business but yours and your partners!

The baby has nothing to do with her. You don’t owe her anything, especially your peace of mind while delivering your own baby.

My MIL threatened to wait outside the hospital while I was in labour. Luckily she told us this before our son was born so we didn’t tell her until he was 4 hours old and then told the midwives we didn’t want any visitors. With my youngest, we did the same thing and then turned both our phones off and turned them back on when we were ready for her to visit

I honestly can't believe women like this actually exist. Absolutely don't tell her.
My mum said to me "can you let me know this time please, I don't want a call after it has happened telling me the baby has arrived". I was like 🙄.

She sounds NUTS!!! definitely don’t tell her you are in labour as even if she doesn’t do anything, you will still be on high alert. Also random side note, I’ve just had a c section and have a toddler and honestly it’s been fine so try not to worry! My husband has had to do a lot of the physical stuff but it really has been okay. Wishing you a peaceful labour!

I think your husbands needs to not be so scared of his mummy…

And should prioritise is wife and baby

Not his immature and selfish mother

Your MIL needs to get over herself. Giving birth isn't a show for everyone. She can wait. I personally would turn off phones (airplane mode) and wait until you are settled to tell her. The hospital staff will also deny entry to anyone you don't want there.

Stress slows down or stalls labor. Best case scenario, labor takes longer. Worse case is the added stress complicated the labor.

If I were you, I’d set a hard boundary like.. you can come 48 hours after birth. So that she knows when to expect to come. That way if she wants to know when you’re laboring (so she can be thinking about you or saying a prayer or whatever) she can. And you can know that she won’t be showing up until the agreed upon time.

This only works if she can respect that kind of request.

Don’t tell her and don’t feel bad about it. Your mental health and comfort matter most. My biggest regret was not stopping my husband from telling my MIL. She ruined my first birthing experience.