Lack of support as mama of 2

Guys, i have a 7 week old and a 20 month old who naps once during the day. Usually when trying to get my 20 month old to nap, my baby is awake needing milk, cuddles etc. My husband works nights part time. We've had numerous conversations on how I need him awake until our son naps around 11am but for the last 6 weeks, he's fallen asleep and takes sometimes up to an hour to wake up to help me out which then significantly disturbs our 20 month old routine. When reaching out to mil for support, my husband shut her down saying we dont need help as he's there so she refused to come to not upset him. I'm struggling alot. I said about getting support again from his family which he refused as it looks bad on him but he fell asleep putting my 20mo to sleep. I had a toddler running actively around the house. I put my toddler to sleep and asked him to look after baby downstairs but whilst putting my 20mo to sleep, I hear my baby screaming and crying for a solid 5 mins. Came downstairs after finally getting toddler down to see my husband just looking at baby in this way. I've had enough. He has cut off my entire support network. Overwhelmed is an understatement. Time to call it a day?

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I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Why is your husband so afraid of you getting help? He's there, but he's not... Understandable that he needs sleep after night shifts but denying you support due to his ego is not okay.

I remember a similar post about a month ago saying basically the same thing so I'm guessing it was you? If it was you, did you try talking to him again after that post saying you were struggling? If yes then that is not ok for him to know how much you are struggling and to have not improved on the support he is giving you / not arranged support from elsewhere like your mother in law. That sounds super hard and very unfair, I think you need to get your mother in law round to help because he is clearly tired and struggling so mother in law sounds like the best option for help, he will just have to put up with it!

Oh no that doesn't sound good. I know that's just a small insight into what he does/doesn't do to help so I don't want to judge... but I would be absolutely fuming if I asked for help at bedtime and he wasn't coming to help let alone if I was having a hypo too. Sorry you are struggling to get the support you deserve. He either needs to step up and do more to help or step aside and let his mother help xx

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