My partner saves porn videos/pictures to his phone. Would you say this is cheating?

I personally find men watching porn a massive ICK ! It's a really bad addiction to have as well for many reasons. This is cheating in my eyes.

It's not cheating but it does suggest an issue with porn addiction, IMO. Porn is so readily available within a few clicks on any device, why does he need it saved?

For me, I have a mixed view of porn. I think it depends on what he's watching. I tend to think if it's not demeaning of any of the people in it (violent, sexist, racist, etc...), and it's not interfering with his real life relationships (i.e., he is able to have fulfilling sex with his partner [fulfilling for both of you!] because his viewpoint of sex hasn't become warped to expect a porn-like experience), and he's not watching it at inappropriate times, I wouldn't have an issue, I don't think. However, I do have a slight issue in that even ethical porn has it's exploitation issues. I know a few people in the industry where I live, and even the ones who sell themselves as feminist and ethical are doing shady and exploitative things. So... yeh... that's my two cents 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's how you see it in your relationship, as everyone's relationship is different.

If you're in the UK, have these videos been saved since they changed access requirements, and you have to now put your ID in? Because that would suggest he's been watching porn the whole time.

Coming from a porn ok person, I would consider it cheating. It’s one thing imo to just watch random ones here and there, but once you start saving/paying for it there’s a deeper connection to it

Not cheating unless he has been in contact with real women like on only fans. Is he leaving often to watch porn? If you think he could be addicted then this is a real issue.
If he just has a higher sex drive and feels his needs aren’t being fully met, and has some favorite videos saved for times when he is horny then I don’t see why that’s a big deal.
If you are meeting his needs and he still is turning to porn or if he is reaching for porn before reaching for you then that is also problematic.

I see porn as cheating and make that clear at the start of a relationship, some people are fine with it so it completely depends on the boundaries you’ve set within your relationship

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You can learn more about porn here if you so wish ☺️

I'd be unbothered 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’d only be okay with porn being saved if it was paid for, directly to its creator. Ethical porn consumption is sexy in my opinion.

Saving & hoarding free porn is weirdo shit. But I don’t think I’d consider it cheating, just weirdo behavior.

I personally hate the idea of a partner watching porn, but I heard it was like an anaesthetic for men, suggesting the cheating is a lot realer in our head than it is theirs.

I wouldn’t say it’s cheating but I’m ok with porn. It’s not the nicest habit in the world but we have two kids so don’t get much one on one time and I live in the real world 😅

I wouldn’t class it as cheating but I wouldn’t like it

How are you “finding” anything on his devices?

The question ur asking is “would YOU say this is cheating” YOU should be asking urself that question 🙋🏾‍♀️ cuz ur the one in YOUR relationship & listening to other pplz views & opinions isn’t going to help ur situation.
U also say “ I have some sissies with him watching porn in general bt HE said it’s a normal thing” so obviously u two don’t view porn the same way & u have issues & he thinks it’s normal, so why are u guys together? Why are u with someone who u can’t agree with on boundaries? Both of ur feelings are valid bt when ppl can’t be themselves in relationships that’s when they go & “hide” these activities cuz he knows ur not okay with it. Find some1 who has the same views as u on porn etc. otherwise this will be an on going issue. Ppl need to be able to be themselves in relationships and not hide, if they are hiding it’s because they don’t feel comfortable & maybe ur with the wrong person

Incog, no need to answer but I am curious. What's the difference between watching it online and saving it to watch it ?

I don’t personally believe it’s cheating. However, If you’ve made it clear in your relationship you view it as cheating, he shouldn’t be doing it.

Okay, I think you may have a hard time trying to have boundaries here because how do you police porn consumption? By saying streaming is fine but saving it is an addiction, you’re essentially "allowing" the exact same behavior but trying to control the filing system. If the imagery is the same, the act of watching it is the same, and the impact on your relationship is the same, does the storage method actually change the morality or the level of the problem? It feels like you're trying to find a "safe" version of porn to be okay with so you don't have to confront the fact that the whole concept might be making you uncomfortable.

To me it’s cheating. I know everyone has different opinions which is great but I just don’t like the idea of my partner looking at someone else’s body when he has his own wife right in front of him.

Personally i don't think its cheating. But it is 100% crossing a boundary in my book. Personally I don't believe a man who loves his wife should be looking at other women. If he knows it makes you uncomfortable and does it anyways then to me its him choosing himself over you. And to save it ontop of that is him saving those specific women that he is fantasizing over (could be wrong but thats how I view it). Ontop.of that he hid it in a secret file and didn't tell you. Another boundary crossed of hiding and withholding the truth. Id personally have a conversation with him about this and maybe see if there is a deeper reason behind his behavior and see what could be worked on with both partners so insure yall are both satisfied and both able to trust one another to not cross any more boundaries

I think it’s just all circumstantial and depends on what you and your partner agree on. Porn isn’t inherently good or bad. If people use it heavily you could come to the conclusion it’s an unhealthy addiction. If it’s used now and again as a way of relaxing then it’s probably pretty healthy and controlled. That being said, some people have higher sex drives than others and thats normal too.

If it makes you upset then it’s probably a boundary your partner shouldn’t cross and you should hopefully be able to discuss it and come to a conclusion.

But having on his phone might just be for easy access 🤷🏻‍♀️ I believe a law has come in now where you have to log in to porn sites.

Not okay, not comfortable, and no it's not normal

Hidden is the key word in my opinion 🤷🏼‍♀️