Being horrible to my husband!

Please tell me someone is feeling the same...I'm 11 weeks postpartum and my hormones are awful!! I feel like I'm constantly having a go at my husband and I can't control it. I resent him for alot of things e.g. going out to see his friends. I also just get irritated by him and find it difficult to be affectionate at times. I instantly feel bad and it upsets me that I treat him that way because he doesn't deserve it. Equally, I feel like he doesn't listen sometimes which can feel very frustrating!
I don't know if hormones are supposed to peak at this time? I think emotions are building up as I'm a first time parent and it can be very overwhelming! Does anyone else feel super hormonal?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

Have you had your first oeriod yet as alot of it sounds like a buold up of hormones. And your first one is horrific. But the resentment is normal and does build. It does help to communicate though, ecplain how your feeling. Easier said than done sometimes i know.

It does get easier though, youre going through alot and postpartuk. Is hard he needs to understand that, and you need to support each other xx

Avatar

Pre pregnancy I was like this just before every period, it’s horrible! Even if you know it’s hormones it doesn’t make the feelings any less strong.

Avatar

Ah yes I usually feel like this before a period but it hasn't come on yet. Plus I'm exclusively breastfeeding so I'd be surprised if it starts yet but I know it's possible 🤔
I've communicated with him and he's really understanding 🙏
I hate who I'm being 😔

Avatar

Talk to your Dr about meds, talk to your partner about counseling together to navigate this chapter and or, get a break, a night or weekend away, get a massage, go on a date, TALK to another and create a list of pros and cons together and rediscuss your love languages, what you want/need and how to help another feel better as individuals and partners and create a chore list for another so, even if not seen or forgotten, you can check it off and keep another accountable (anything can count as a chore aka hug for 30sec...)

Avatar

If you are exclusively breastfeeding, it will most likely not be helped by the hormone prolactin!

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

circumcision

are we circumcising our boys? or leaving that to dad?

Avatar

52

Should I be concerned or am I overthinking?

My little boy is 15 months old, he’s recently taken his first steps and he says mamma and dadda and baba (he has said these for months) we’ve filled out the paperwork for his 12-14 month review and it looks like he isn’t meeting many of his milestones.

He doesn’t copy actions, point, clap etc. He doesn’t react when being spoken to, or to his name. He actively avoids eye contact.

He was so unresponsive to sound that we just had his hearing tested concerned he was deaf. They found that he could hear so he is just choosing not to react to any noises or sounds.

Has anyone else had similar experiences with their little ones? Should I be raising this with the health visitor and ask to be assessed for neurodivergent issue or a social communication problem like autism?

I don’t want to just slap a label on him, but I do feel that there are real concerns. All opinions welcome!!

Avatar

1

7

Routines?

When did you start to introduce your baby’s routine? Do they just have a night routine or full day routine? Wondering when I should start this e.g naps at the same time everyday.

Any routines you have that work for you, please let me know them with timestamps. my baby is 6 weeks and just wondering when we should start them?

Avatar

3

Does anyone else’s baby spit up breastmilk but not formula?

I’m seriously considering seeing a lactation consultant because I don’t understand why he can’t hold down breastmilk but can formula. I use soy formula since I’ve used it with my daughter and I’m thinking it might be due to not getting milk coming in for a few days so I had no choice but to give him formula, but now even if I take breaks in between feeding him breastmilk to burp or try to mix breastmilk and formula, he spits it up sooo much. I’m ready to just give him just formula because I’m worried about him not eating enough

Avatar

10

Reflux

I need some help my baby is 6 weeks old and recently when I try and wind him after his bottle he’s not bring any wind up and just keeps being sick, I’ve tried infacol but that doesn’t seem to be doing much.

Avatar

4

I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

Avatar

3

5

Read more on Peanut