how do you talk about splitting up

Tell him exactly what you’re feeling but don’t do it alone. Have a plan. If you’re going to tell him how you’re feeling (not alone), make sure youre packed and he doesn’t know where you’re going. I’ve been in your situation and ended up leaving when he was at work. Anything you say is going to trigger him. Leaving is going to make him act crazy. It’s going to be rough before it gets better. But you need to do what you feel like is best and safe for you and your child.

I totally understand that’s the point and where I’m at

What hes doing is abuse. Just because he doesnt hit you doesnt mean hes not abusive. I would make an exit plan , dont tell him when or what your plan to leave is. And then just leave. You can write him a letter but just leave. Stay safe. Men like this only get worse. My father was like this, then when I got older he would hit me. Bipolar is not an excuse to be a shitty person. You need to keep yourself and your baby safe. Please take care, men like this can be dangerous. You never think they'll do something until they do

Maybe also look for domestic violence shelter and advocates they might help you make a plan and get you some protection. Yes this qualifies as domestic violence.

I have been through this many times. My opinion don’t tell anyone you are leaving. Leave while he is at work. However be careful getting cops involved. One of my kids dads was really abusive I tried to leave but the night before he hit me and I hit back and gave him a black eye. Cps took my son saying I was the abuser.