I've been married for almost 10 yrs, but we have been together for 14 years total. I feel depressed cause I'm lonely in my own marriage. He doesnt talk or even give me physical contact unless he wants sex. We have 3 kids our youngest is autistic. I feel like I dont have the support to even get help with our autistic son. Since hes level 3 he needs alot of attention and support that I seem to not get help with. I do it all cook clean take care of all 3 kids alone. All he does is work and when hes home hes on his phone all the time. I've caught him dozens of time talking to girls behind my back. I feel like I'm over it. Do i say and keep being unhappy or do I leave and choose myself for my mental health and happiness?
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Why is he cheating?

At that point I would want counseling first and if that didn't work then yeah divorce. 14 years is a long time to not try and work things out. But talking to other girls behind you back is a huge no! That is for sure divorce or counseling.

I'd say it's about 2 questions.
1. What do you want from your marriage? And are you getting them?
2. What would you lose if you leave?
It's obvious that you're not getting a loving, caring, loyal and supportive husband, but maybe you're getting financial stability, and maybe a 'complete family' for your children?
Then you'll need to weight what things are more important to you.
I think you should have a serious conversation with your husband, and see what's his attitude. If he doesn't want to change, and you think leaving has more pros than cons in long run, then you should leave.

I would try couples counseling first to see if things can be worked out