Seperated recently

Why does my ex, the father of my kids not seem to want to be as involved now that we’ve seperated? Before we separated regardless of our issues he was always there for them no matter what, we have been separated for 5 days, I update him on the kids all the time thinking that’s what he’d want although he doesn’t complain and has came to see the kids three times in this 5 day span. It feels like he doesn’t spend a lot of time with them at all, like maybe an hour and that’s it, my youngest has rsv and I took her to the hospital he didn’t want to show up but ended up coming anyways, he left before her discharge and they added bronchiolitis to her diagnosis, then my two year has also been sick and she started running a fever, when I got home I texted and explained what was going on with the kids, he left me on opened. One minute he will text about the kids just fine and also be talking to me just fine but the next it’s like he changes and it’s completely different, he will leave me on opened when text about anything at all or just not answer my calls when I only call about the kids is this normal? We’re both young and have been together for 3 years, he left and we have talked about our relationship some he doesn’t wanna come back but I told him this will always be his home and he’s loved by everyone in it.

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I think I would give it another 5 days or more I am not saying what he is doing is justified or okay to leave you on read or not spend time with the kids much even now that they are sick but, you mentioned you JUST separated after 3 years… He may not be but maybe he’s hurt and being around the family reminds him of what he had or shows him how life will be now that you guys aren’t together. Some people transition better than others and you may be able to see him and be around him as a family and it not bother you as much and you can push thru for the kids but he may not be. Again I could be wayyy off but if he was a good present dad before like you said then this may not be him acting out on purpose but maybe for you both to have some patience for the other and see where you guys are emotion wise and talk in a safe open honest conversation? Feel free to tell me i’m wrong or tell me to f off if i’m way off lol praying for you and your suck babies tho! 💕

Yeh you both deserve grace and time to figure this out and if it’s him seeing the kids without you there so he can focus on that instead of the relationship as it is now and the kids at the same time, then that might help idk. That might help him transition into a more confident space and less fearful or focused on what could happen and stuff. I also think for you both going to counseling not to reconcile or come back together but to talk thru the breakup with a professional to help you guys stay on track and be accountable might help 🤷‍♀️ these are things I would do if me and my fiance didn’t work out for the fact that kids are involved and healthy coparenting still needs healthy communication or learned communication habits. But if you guys do get back together then even better because then you would still benefit from learning better habits to communicate and love each other as the other needs. And you having somewhere to talk this thru might help you not reaching out always.

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