I dont know what to do! Me and my husbands body dont mesh well at all.

Have you tried fully communicating with him, like not only expressing yourself, but listening to his experience with it as well? My partner and I are very open with each other outside and in the bedroom alike. It feels really good to be on the same page and discover what we love together.

You have to sit down and have a deep conversation about what you like in bed (potentially more foreplay and how) and what he likes and try to do both. My husband was basically a virgin when we met and had no idea what to do so I had to basically teach him what I liked and how to do it. That helped us so much and now 10 years later he is amazing at making me orgasm, but did take about half that time to get here lol

Does he think your sex life is good? Or does he see the issues also?

Have you used a wand during sex? It helps a lot if your partner isnt overly talented in that way but great with other things

If you’re not having orgasms then intro a wand or bullet so you CAN cum. I cum nearly every time unless it’s a quickie in the ensuite or car or shower sex, but if it’s bed sex I usually cum, sometimes I grab my wand. If things aren’t going great there’s no shame in adding a wand or a vibrating cock ring or something. Try you giving him a massage or him giving you a massage and slowly going into the thighs and the hotspots. The buildup is what’s erotic so by the time he enters after all that foreplay it’s so much relief. I’d recommend watching Sexlife on Netflix. It’s about a mum who’s lost herself in marriage. I just finished it w my hubby.

I’m sorry to say this, but if you’re as vocal about this as you claim & your hubs is still claiming y’all’s sex life is “good”, then you called it, he’s trying to convince you & that’s really mean of him to do & personally, I go so far as to say he’s being a selfish lover & he’s really lucky that this hasn’t already overflowed into the way you view him as a person overall. No, sex isn’t everything, not even by a long shot, but the sex you have with the person you’re supposed to love most in this world should reflect that love & commitment. It’s not healthy to be having dry sex, so I’d start shutting that down with a simple “I’m not ready yet, I need more stimulation to get wet”, maybe this can be where you start taking the lead & push that head where it needs to go & do the guiding. The more you get into it the more he should be turned on too, it’s super thrilling to turn on your partner when you know they feel the same, but you’re hubs doesn’t know this yet, you’ve figured it out w/o

Most women have not experienced an orgasm so don’t feel bad nor put it all on him.
Are u able to make urself orgasm without clitoral stimulation? If the answer is no then u can’t put it all on him. U need to learn ur own body first.
And Yup having dry sex is a big no! The more u have sex when u don’t crave it or enjoy it the less ur gonna want it or the worse ur sexual relationship with ur partner is gonna be.
Sex starts before the bedroom. Therefore make sure he is stimulating ur other senses , for example make sure u pay attention to what ur not liking about him outside of the bedroom.
Does he smell? Does he brush his teeth? Is he too heavy on u? Do u like how he talks to u? Etc

Also help his confidence up a bit it will make him feel better about himself and give u some good D. A man that works out feels good has confidence and has good testosterone maybe he needs to hit the gym or some hobbies he enjoys. Help him feel like the man

i ended up sitting him down and having a conversation with him about this but he didnt take it well. He became defensive and took it as a personal attack and then some how turned it into how hes not going to stay quiet anymore when i do something he doesnt like (but he meant it in a general sense and not related to sex) so i have no idea whre to go from here. It was a very uncomfortable conversation and it felt like it was going no where and falling on deaf ears.

I'm so sorry... that's really immature. That's not how he should have taken it, and he should have listened and tried to be open to try what you need and learn what pleases you... I hope he can calm down and come back to this conversation. It sounded like you said he's great outside of sex so hopefully he just didn't know how to express how he felt about it and will come back to and try.

It does somewhat sound like an avoidant personality. Fear of letting people down or rejection can make them avoid difficult things/conversations. I just had to do a case study on it as I'm in school for psychology. I'm so sorry he is being like this. It may be worth it to bring up with your own therapist if you have one how to best go about this if he does have an avoidant personality