My boyfriend said I don't deserve to be a mother

That's so mean. Sorry you had to hear that🥹💕

You're not a bad mum 🩷 this is one of the hardest things to do and you're doing great. Your best!

Your relationship sounds like it's under stress, but that is a really hurtful thing to say to you. Don't take it to heart! Stay strong!!

Consider support, talking, self-care, counseling support, a night staying with family or whatever you need. Hang in there 🩷 do whatever you can to get support for you 🩷

You’re not a bad mum, you’re doing your best at one of the hardest things ever (for the record, harder than working in a warehouse that’s for sure). He doesn’t sound supportive at all, and I’m so sorry you’re doing this without that support network. He sounds very cold and emotionally abusive. I hope you’re receiving help for your ppd and pp-rage as you don’t have to suffer with that ❤️

We don’t know you but know enough to say that this type of relationship isn’t what you deserve . I hope you have another community of people you can lean on. But it’s time to leave

If you are paying half of everything or even more, then ask him to do half with baby. Or you can tell him 'you're not meant to be a dad or man.'

Your boyfriend is a fool! I had post partum depression really bad too and when I realized it was bad I finally went to the doctors and get some help so I could fully love my baby with no more shouting 🥺❤️ he’s almost 3 now and things are so beautiful thanks to medical help 🙏 you deserve your baby in every way any mother does, post partum depression doesn’t make you a bad mom, it just needs to special care to get back to being you so you can love your baby fully 🥹🥰 I’m so sorry your going through it, it’s the absolute worse 🥺 if you ever wanna talk about it feel free to reach out to me. But in the meantime go to the doctors let them know what your going through and they will let you know the best ways to help 🥰 and tell that stupid boyfriend to grow a pair of man pants and to help the one he loves get better not stomped on 🥴❤️

Absolutely disgraceful thing for him to have said. How dare he.

You are sleep deprived and probably exhausted - you’re not the first or last to shout at your baby when things get overwhelming; the fact you are so aware of it, and trying not to, means you are not a bad mother. You are shouldering an impossible situation- one he seems to have no real grasp of, yet he’s passing judgement like he’s some expert? And you’re left blaming yourself for everything.

Please put him in his place - he can support you properly, or he can shut up. And remember that this phase in your child’s life will pass- you have 18+ years to love and care for them; some parts will come more naturally than others.

I would 100% cut the father of my child’s dad out of my life if a man ever told me I’m not meant to be a mother . Would be 100% done

He’s a selfish idiot to say that!! Did you ask him what he does to deserve being a dad? Did you ask him the last time he thought about what the baby needs, let alone get it or do it? How many times a night does he wake up to take care of the baby? At this point he doesn’t even deserve to be with you or the baby. And perhaps if he was doing his part then you wouldn’t be so stressed!! Tell him that it has been proven that a happy mom leads to a happy child- and that starts with dad and community supporting mom, instead of putting you down as he’s doing. Put it back on him and tell him he’d better get his act together. And I wouldn’t be with a man who hasn’t proposed and shown me he’s made an effort to be in my life long term.

Just because you have postpartum does not mean you’re a horrible mother. I’m a single mom. It’s rough my toddler right now is going to behavior issues and I just wanna cry and break down. I’m not sleeping. Doesn’t mean I’m a horrible mother then that goes for you. Also make sure you go see a doctor to get help with postpartum if you’re not already.

But as this relationship goes, I would see about talking to a therapist online individually without him to discuss this relationship because he seems very toxic and as I don’t know everything, I don’t wanna stay here in an abusive relationship, but if you’re not careful, it could become one if this is how he is acting..

I was going to go and say how postpartum depression is one of those really cause by chemistry and that you have no control over even within the happiest and most helpful environment bla blah blah.

But I kept on reading and gosh, what is happening to you is the consequences of his faults.

You know, the same way you one day found out Santa was your parents, you will find out that your depression and postpartum rage have the name and surname of your boyfriend .

You are not a bad mom. You are depressed and angry. On top of being needed by a newborn 24/7 and sleep deprived. I was depressed with my daughter. There was one time I was warming her milk up and I had to put her in her crib, and walk away because she was crying and I couldnt take it. Holding her wasnt helping so I put her somewhere safe and walked away until her bottle was heated up. Once it was ready I went and got her and fed her.

I’m so sorry I’ve been scrolling and it’s ticked in the poll. I didn’t even see there was a poll or what it said until I realised what I’d done!

I’m trying to remove it now.

Does anyone know how to undo a vote on the poll? 😭

I really hope you see my vote was a mistake. I can’t message you as you’re anonymous. I can’t work out how to undo the vote. Again, I’m so sorry. You’re definitely not a horrible Mum.

Motherhood is incredibly hard!! Especially in the early years. It sounds like you’re doing so much even financially.. You are carrying a lot!.. it’s unfair when the emotional load gets minimized. The fact that you care this much already says a lot about the kind of mom you are 🤍 Please do not give into thinking he may be right. He is not. Do not give up your child. You are deserving. You are doing great providing your child with whatever they need. Try to see if there are any mom support groups in your area that you can join. I would also think about looking for a more affordable home for you and your daughhter. Even if a one bedroom. If you are already splitting everything down the middle and paying for nursery by yourself it may be do-able. Also file for child support to help with your daughter.

Ditto on everyone else! You are doing your best! I suffer from all that and more and even when my mate hated me and was making spiteful choices behind my back that have destroyed me inside, he STILL would have never said I don't deserve to be a mom or failed to step up caring for his kids, and he still performed caring for me despite his inner feelings. Your boyfriend sounds like a prickish useless twat. And he sounds like he's the one who doesn't deserve parenthood. You can't choose to improve mental health on a whim. He can choose to not be lazy. He can choose his words. But if he actually feels those words.... Idk. Baby is so fresh I'd be single momming it (sucky but temporary) and low-key shopping for a nice stepdad while focusing on my career and child.

I did not mean to click that I’m soo sorry I was trying to scroll 😳

Sorry I was scrolling and accidentally clicked you’re a horrible mum. I don’t agree with that.

I’m sorry you don’t have much support at home. I’m 8 weeks postpartum and have the baby blues as well. It’s hard to feel back the anger, the anxiety and the sadness. I have thankfully set myself up with a therapist, will be seeing a psychologist soon (recommendation of my therapist) and see psychiatry later in March. It’s hard being a new mom and dealing with the hormones crashing, sleep deprivation, loneliness, etc. You are only human and are doing everything you can. It’s huge restraint to not yell or do anything of harm to yourself or baby so give yourself a pat in the back and some grace. You’re not alone as easy as it may feel like you are. I hope you have a few people you can trust and maybe come and help if your partner cannot. There’s no shame in seeking professional help, it’s always nice to be understood and understand what is happening and what you can do to help yourself. Again I’m sorry your partner isn’t supportive.

I’m a FTM who battled postpartum depression, I’ve shouted at my son purely from being over stimulated and overwhelmed at his crying because for a while there he’d go from 0-100 on the hunger scale like in a snap and scream as if I’d starved him for his whole life. I feel like there’s many many women who have gone thru this. I am so SO sorry your boyfriend said that to you. You don’t deserve THAT behavior, and you 100% are meant to be a mom and will be an amazing mom. Just give yourself grace while you get the hang of things mama, you got this! I’m here if you need me ❤️

You’re not a horrible mom. At all. Pregnancy and postpartum causes a lot of hormone that changes us, most the time for the worst. You’re doing your absolute best and the fact that you’re questioning if you’re a good mom, means that you care. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have even bothered to get opinions. It’s tough but you got this my love

Let’s just say this men will never fully understand a women and what we go through when having children, he may not understand but there isn’t a reason for his comments and don’t let the get to you, you’re amazing and you’re doing the best you can. Remember this is a phase that you will grow out of don’t let it get you down. X

How is it going now a couple of days later