How to cope?

How do you cope knowing you desperately want more babies but knowing it more than likely wont happen? We probably wont be having anymore, despite we both want more. Theres financial reasons and health reasons. It makes me so depressed and sad to think that I wont be carrying another baby. That I will never have those tiny newborn snuggles. That I will never have a chance to successfully breastfeed. Im disappointed in life. I thought I would have more kids by now. I wanted more kids by now. I am grateful for the two I have, but when youve dreamed of 6+ kids your whole life and only end up with two … I feel like so much is missing and I dont think I’ll ever feel complete…

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

My baby fever is through the roof and its killing me so much inside. I dont know what to do or how to cope. I feel so low…

Same here xxx

I feel you. I want to have at least one more baby so badly on an emotional level (we currently have 2 daughters) but my husband and I agreed that there are many reasons why we need to not have any more kids.
1. My age (I turn 37 on May 31st)
2. My 2nd pregnancy really took its toll on me physically. I can't go through it again.
3. We have no support structure because everyone I know is 13 hours away and my husband's family are all in India.
4. It's too expensive.
5. I feel like I would not be fair to our daughters because we would be missing out on doing so many things with them and taking them to fun places because we would be too busy and exhausted with having another baby.

It's hard but I just tell myself to focus on loving my girls so much and looking forward to all of the fun experiences we will get to have together as they grow (they're currently 2 years old and 3 years old)

Plus I tell myself I look forward to one day being able to get better sleep at night again and decorate my home the way I want once our daughters are out of the destructive toddler phase. 😅

I only have one and am grateful for him but I've always wanted more, unfortunately due to my health and what pregnancy did to me its unlikely we will be able to have anymore and it breaks my heart. I just have to remind myself that we have him and we are blessed to have him, and that he's enough.

"But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not" surat al baqara 216

And also read about Mary's morher story and how she had her may peace be upon them also when zakaria came and saw her he prayed for a kid and allah responded even through he cant have kids these stories in Surat al imran and surat mariam (mary) in the quran calmed me a lot when i thought i couldn't have more kids and in few months thank god i was pregnant again even though i had a horrible medical
Situation
May allah ease it on you both ways if you have more or you dont❤️❤️❤️❤️

Counseling
Therapy
Mental health
Possibly couples
Maybe group!

in our community

Line or indent?

So me and my partner have started trying for another baby, I came off the pill around the 25th September, but I took a test today because something was just telling me to, I took 2 with the same urine in a cup but got I think different results? The bottom test is the one I took first, the top is once that I took about 10 minutes later as I was a bit shocked (picture in comments)😂 what do you think?

It’s not fair❤️‍🩹

So I recently found out that my child’s father has been actively sleeping with different women during my pregnancy and as well trying to talk to me, get me to support him help him in the same breath. And that he actively communicates and possibly sleeps with one of the women that I work with. I do not want to take maternity pictures with him. I don’t want him to sit by me at the baby shower and I feel like that’s not a problem it’s very hard to explain the pain that I’m going through. Two days after we broke up I found out I was pregnant and in that process he has sex with someone else and it was the girl that I work with. I don’t know how strong I am at this point, but I guess I’m finding out. This hurts because people asked me at one point in time did I believe in having a family and is that why I kept supporting him. And the answer is yes. But now due to the circumstances. I want nothing to do with him.

Should I stay or?

So me and my fiancé have been together a year and a half and I’m 8 months pregnant. For the last few months my fiancé has been intrested in his computer/games and online friends. When I say this I mean I ask him for a cuddle around 8pm and don’t get one until about 1am, I have to beg for his attention. We have loans for Christmas time and the start of summer and I’m the only one repaying it for us even though he has half of the loan. (I pay £50 every Monday to repay the loan). He was given a course and did the whole course by the job centre and now has decided he doesn’t want to work and want to live on benefits for the rest of his life but I don’t want that (not that there’s anything wrong with living on benefits) but while all he does all day is play on his game otp with his friends on discord I’m doing online courses to get my qualifications to work my dream job. We no longer see eye to eye on what we want and I try to explain how I feel to him but he doesn’t listen. I love him so much but I don’t know if I can give up the life I want for him since he isn’t willing to compromise. Please tell me what I should do.

Birth plan?

I’m a first time mum and have no idea what to put on my birth plan. All I have so far is that my birth partners are my fiancé and mother. Any advice? I’m 33+4

MIL Advice

I’ve been with my partner for 6 years. We had a rough time around a year in due to his mental health, but he is doing so well now and we’re stronger than ever!
There have been a few things that his mum has said, and now I don’t want to see her or spend time with her alone. I just wanted everyone’s thoughts.
The first thing was when we got the mortgage. My partner received an inheritance, but I put in the exact same amount towards the deposit because I helped him pay off his car, which removed a bill before we applied for the mortgage. She told him we shouldn’t have gone 50/50 because of this, giving him more financial security.
I moved on from it as I thought, she just wants the best for her son.

We planned this pregnancy and have saved over £10,000 for financial security. The majority of the savings are from me as I have a higher income. I do not mind this, as I’ll be taking a full year off work, and him contributing means a lot because it allows me to.

We have since gotten along well, including her messaging me decor ideas and gardening tips.

When we told her I was pregnant, she cried. I knew it was because she wasn’t happy, but my partner wanted to hope that she was just processing. Still, she congratulated us.

A few weeks later, she told him she was worried he was going to be ‘trapped’ and end up paying ‘child maintenance.’
He stood up for me and told her this was way out of line.
She apologised and said it wasn’t her intention, and that she was just worried about his mental health. For context, at the beginning of the year he was extremely low; this was all as a result of his employer treating him awfully. He has a new job and is THRIVING, back to my weird, happy, and hyperactive partner.
She said she made those comments because she was worried about his mental health and the pressure on our relationship. Despite the fact that I was the one here.. every day supporting him and getting him through it, whilst she called him once or twice a week to check in. She ended up staying at ours for a week so he wasn’t alone which I was grateful for. But she only experience a week of it, I got him through almost 3 months until he started his new job.

The comments felt very personal because I grew up on a council estate and in an abusive household and she knows that. In my opinion, if that’s what she was worried about, that’s what she should have said. But given everything I have done to support him, the comments aren’t justified in my opinion.

She then blamed her upbringing and how her life has been so hard, including the divorce from his dad. She’s very negative about his dad and refuses to see him, even though it would mean missing her own daughter’s wedding.

My partner still talks to her, and I don’t expect him to stop. She has not sent me a single message—not even an apology—since. It’s been weeks.

My stance is that I will go to family gatherings if she is there, but I will not make any trips to see her or stay at her house like we used to. She can see the baby as much as she likes, but I don’t want to see or speak to her unless I have to. She doesn’t even know if she’s going to hold the baby, as she’s also said she doesn’t like babies. I won’t let her impact my daughter.

My partner understands and won’t push it, but I still feel bad.

For me, because I grew up abused, I’m not willing to be treated or spoken about like that. Had she apologised, I could have moved on, but she’s made no contact with me since.

Am I being unreasonable?

Prenatal vitamins

With there being so many options on the market now, I wondered which ones you all have tried and liked.