Should I stay or?

So me and my fiancé have been together a year and a half and I’m 8 months pregnant. For the last few months my fiancé has been intrested in his computer/games and online friends. When I say this I mean I ask him for a cuddle around 8pm and don’t get one until about 1am, I have to beg for his attention. We have loans for Christmas time and the start of summer and I’m the only one repaying it for us even though he has half of the loan. (I pay £50 every Monday to repay the loan). He was given a course and did the whole course by the job centre and now has decided he doesn’t want to work and want to live on benefits for the rest of his life but I don’t want that (not that there’s anything wrong with living on benefits) but while all he does all day is play on his game otp with his friends on discord I’m doing online courses to get my qualifications to work my dream job. We no longer see eye to eye on what we want and I try to explain how I feel to him but he doesn’t listen. I love him so much but I don’t know if I can give up the life I want for him since he isn’t willing to compromise. Please tell me what I should do.

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How will you ever progress in life if he refuses to do anything and wants to live his life playing games. Im assuming he going to put the same energy into the baby that'll be the reality. You cant be expected to do everything thats not a partnership. Xx

Sorry to say but the way you describe him . ...i wouldn't want him as an example for my child... My husband and i are both gamers but responsibilities come first and we will work our asses for the child we wanted and planned for, to give him the best he can ever have. Either none of us plays, or we both play and eventually the three of us will play together. So think ab what kind of life you want your child to have

You can love someone with your whole heart and still realize you want different things in life! There’s nothing wrong with gaming, but when you’re 8 months pregnant, paying off shared debt alone, and begging for attention, that’s a problem. You deserve a partner, not another responsibility. I’d have one serious conversation about your expectations and future together, then pay attention to his actions, not his promises. And please don’t sacrifice your dreams for someone unwilling to meet you halfway! A baby won’t magically change his priorities. You and your little one deserve better than that!

Thank you for all the comments, I don’t want to have to say that me and him have to break up, just the thought breaks my heart but I know that it may be the only option

If you don’t leave now you will once the baby comes. I guarantee it.

Accidentally pressed “stay” and can’t change it, but I would absolutely have voted leave him! Sounds like you already have a big baby to look after before you’ve even given birth 😬

Gamer couple here! My partner had a time when I was pregnant when he got really really stressed about being a dad and turned into video games as a way to “forget” about it. Could it be that? He is an amazing dad now.

As of the bills, he needs to pay his part bc wanting to be on benefits or not, that doesn’t change and bills are still there. Make him pay… and if he doesn’t I would leave.

One big thing to consider if you do leave is do you really want to put his name on the baby certificate now… Sometimes not putting him on it and leaving is the best… and if he really wants to see baby he can go to court and that would force him to go back to work… as he might also end up to need to pay for a paternity test first to be on it + pay child support for you which he needs money for. It’s not cool, but if that secures a better life for you and baby I would consider that strongly girl.

You deserve better, you are beautiful. You shouldn’t be with anyone where you have to ask for a hug or love x

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So I recently found out that my child’s father has been actively sleeping with different women during my pregnancy and as well trying to talk to me, get me to support him help him in the same breath. And that he actively communicates and possibly sleeps with one of the women that I work with. I do not want to take maternity pictures with him. I don’t want him to sit by me at the baby shower and I feel like that’s not a problem it’s very hard to explain the pain that I’m going through. Two days after we broke up I found out I was pregnant and in that process he has sex with someone else and it was the girl that I work with. I don’t know how strong I am at this point, but I guess I’m finding out. This hurts because people asked me at one point in time did I believe in having a family and is that why I kept supporting him. And the answer is yes. But now due to the circumstances. I want nothing to do with him.

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I’ve been with my partner for 6 years. We had a rough time around a year in due to his mental health, but he is doing so well now and we’re stronger than ever!
There have been a few things that his mum has said, and now I don’t want to see her or spend time with her alone. I just wanted everyone’s thoughts.
The first thing was when we got the mortgage. My partner received an inheritance, but I put in the exact same amount towards the deposit because I helped him pay off his car, which removed a bill before we applied for the mortgage. She told him we shouldn’t have gone 50/50 because of this, giving him more financial security.
I moved on from it as I thought, she just wants the best for her son.

We planned this pregnancy and have saved over £10,000 for financial security. The majority of the savings are from me as I have a higher income. I do not mind this, as I’ll be taking a full year off work, and him contributing means a lot because it allows me to.

We have since gotten along well, including her messaging me decor ideas and gardening tips.

When we told her I was pregnant, she cried. I knew it was because she wasn’t happy, but my partner wanted to hope that she was just processing. Still, she congratulated us.

A few weeks later, she told him she was worried he was going to be ‘trapped’ and end up paying ‘child maintenance.’
He stood up for me and told her this was way out of line.
She apologised and said it wasn’t her intention, and that she was just worried about his mental health. For context, at the beginning of the year he was extremely low; this was all as a result of his employer treating him awfully. He has a new job and is THRIVING, back to my weird, happy, and hyperactive partner.
She said she made those comments because she was worried about his mental health and the pressure on our relationship. Despite the fact that I was the one here.. every day supporting him and getting him through it, whilst she called him once or twice a week to check in. She ended up staying at ours for a week so he wasn’t alone which I was grateful for. But she only experience a week of it, I got him through almost 3 months until he started his new job.

The comments felt very personal because I grew up on a council estate and in an abusive household and she knows that. In my opinion, if that’s what she was worried about, that’s what she should have said. But given everything I have done to support him, the comments aren’t justified in my opinion.

She then blamed her upbringing and how her life has been so hard, including the divorce from his dad. She’s very negative about his dad and refuses to see him, even though it would mean missing her own daughter’s wedding.

My partner still talks to her, and I don’t expect him to stop. She has not sent me a single message—not even an apology—since. It’s been weeks.

My stance is that I will go to family gatherings if she is there, but I will not make any trips to see her or stay at her house like we used to. She can see the baby as much as she likes, but I don’t want to see or speak to her unless I have to. She doesn’t even know if she’s going to hold the baby, as she’s also said she doesn’t like babies. I won’t let her impact my daughter.

My partner understands and won’t push it, but I still feel bad.

For me, because I grew up abused, I’m not willing to be treated or spoken about like that. Had she apologised, I could have moved on, but she’s made no contact with me since.

Am I being unreasonable?

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