Keeper?

So my husband has this coworker friend that has been married for about 5 years and about a year ago they had broken up due to his wife getting an overnight job after the husband had said she didnt need to go to work because he makes enough money and if she wanted to work she could do it part time and at a better time of day but she insisted. she would then sleep all day instead of watching their toddler. After they broke up, she immediately started dating a guy from work where she goes to his house during alot of her free time not spending any time with their daughter. He still let's her live there in her own room rent free, pays all her bills, and gives her money when ever she asks even tho she also works full time and has no responsibilities because he literally pays for everything on top of that she still dosnt watch their child, he has come home to food spilled all over the floor because their 4 year old was trying to make herself food because the mom slept all day leaving their toddler alone in the house all day. The mom has also neglected to take their daughter to multiple appointments. She Wouldn't even call the doctor to reschedule. She just called him multiple times while he was at work and told him to call them for her it got to the point where he had to take time off work to take their daughter to the doctor. Its been like this for him for over a year and it genuinely makes me angry that he keeps letting her act that way and treat him and their daughter the way she has and we keep trying to convince him to kick her out, but he doesn't want to "take her mom away". He is such a nice guy, super smart, very engaged in his daughter life. He deserves so much better. Are we in the wrong for trying to convince him to kick her out and to stop paying for everything for her?

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Forget the money and the boyfriend and the messy house. I would remind him the danger of a 4 year old being left unattended. What if she turns on the stove top trying to make herself food? Give herself a bath because she’s bored? Goes outside and wanders off? Finds chemicals, alcohol, etc? It’s a horrible disaster in the making that is 100% preventable. Whether mom’s there or not I think the child needs to be put into daycare. If the mom is there she’s not watching her, if she’s not there she’s not watching her so that makes zero difference.

This man needs to get her out

She's contributing nothing but her own selfishness.
She's useless and needs to face reality on her own and move out

That's terrible 😕 however maybe he knows he can't afford childcare or splitting income 50/50. His reasons why he doesn't kick her out may be deeper than just not wanting to "take her Mommy away". Not your place to tell him what to do. If it comes up, I would focus on all the things his daughter needs and deserves from her parents so he can possibly make a decision and one that puts his daughter as a priority

I can understand being concerned for a kid who isn't getting the quality of a Mom she deserves. That said, you're pretty invested in the details of a marriage you aren't in. No matter how liked or solid someone seems, if you're going off only one side, that's half the story. She really may just suck, but it's not your business.

Honestly this is neglect and if a CPS reports gets filed against her, he will get in trouble for failure to report and protect so I think it’s important he understand how dangerous it is for a 4 year old to be left unattended

I don’t think he has to kick her out (as much as she deserves it I can understand why he doesn’t want to), but he needs to stop paying her bills and arrange for childcare rather than leaving his daughter with her. That way he doesn’t feel guilty but also boundaries are put into place and his daughter isn’t at risk. This woman is pretty much living off him and doing as she pleases and it seems she knows he will let her.

Sounds like you’ve got just 1 side of the coin. If it was that bad he wouldn’t need advice because social services would be on his neck (if in the U.K.) . Sounds like these things have happened on occasion but not frequently. He knows if he kicks her out then he will have to deal with EVERYTHING concerning the child. As for mum. Sounds like she’s depressed and probably needs some care and help

in our community

6 year old says he hates me

I was putting my son to bed after a nice day together, and he just came out with it. 10 minutes prior he said ‘ I love you mummy’ then he said ‘I hate you but you’re part of my family’ 🫠 His little sister gets a lot of my attention and my patience isn’t where it used to be, but this has just really thrown me!!! He’s a daddies boy and maybe our connection has slipped a little because of our daughter. Any advice?

Annoyed with nursery

Please hear me out as I am fully understanding of policies. My son has been going to nursery since June and after a long period settling in now really enjoys it. On Monday I sent him in and mentioned he had 2 teeth breaking through (1 being a molar) causing him a dribble rash. Within 15mins of leaving and still driving I get a call and eventually a few hours later was asked to pick him up. Nursery were adamant it was HFM (despite no other symptoms) and he was not allowed back for 3 days. Checked by a dr who has confirmed it is not HFM. He has not been in nursery all of this week, the longest he’s not been. I’ve had to take unpaid leave from my work and my husband a days holiday to allow me to work a few hours. We still have to pay over £160 this month including the missed days. I wouldn’t be annoyed if this was the 1st time. However last month we sent him in fine, 15mins later had a call to pick him up as he was ‘poorly’. He wasn’t. last month we paid over £140 including a missed day. It’s not even like they’re giving it a few hours, I’m being rung within minutes having sent my child in perfectly well. I wouldn’t if he wasn’t well and would be more understanding if he had been in for say 3+ hours. I can’t afford to keep having unpaid days off work or to be paying nursery fees when he isn’t in and it defeats the whole point of why we’ve opted for childcare if I can’t work

I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this

I stay at home with our daughter while my husband works. He's a wonderful husband and a good dad. He helps with the baby when he gets home, cooks dinner on a regular basis, and makes sure we have what we need.

Here's the issue: We are EBF right now because our baby will not take a bottle. I'm constantly feeding her, which is to be expected, but I feel so alone. Tonight she was so congested she couldn't latch (I had to go get the aspirator and use that) and my husband was just laying there, half awake, while she screamed. I know he's doing what he can most of the time. It's just exhausting because I pack the diaper bag, I wash the cloth diapers and pads, I know the difference in her cries, I'm the one teaching her baby sign language, I get her dressed when we're going somewhere, and I'm the one who basically gets thrown under the bus when people have negative things to say about our choices as parents (such as not making her wear socks all the time because she kicks them off anyway). I have a thousand questions running through my mind at any given moment in the day and in comparison it feels like he gets to just rest easy knowing I have things under control.

I am EXHAUSTED. I am touched out. I would really like to take a nap and not have to worry that my child is going to roll off of my chest into a potentially life threatening position because she wakes up every time I put her in her bassinet.

She is everything we hoped for and more. I just need a break and I doubt I'll get a real one until about 3-4 months from now. To those who breastfeed and work, I don't know how you do it.

Being cheated on for like the 8 million time

Why is it so easy for him to cheat? Why does he do it? What do I do that is so difficult for him to love me and our almost 3 month old daughter? All I know is I need to break the cycle I’m done! I rather be a single mom and struggle than deal with this all over! My self esteem is gone! Self respect in myself gone I continues forgive and forgive and forgive just to be cheated on again I just want a good man that is loyal 🙄😟😞done

Random

Bit random, but i really want to go for a walk, i just cannot be arsed to fight to get my little one dressed, would anyone judge if he went out in his pj's 😂 they look like pj's btw

Parking

Can someone tell me if I’m in the wrong as I’m feeling really guilty! I have just been shopping, was parked in a child and parent space and as we came out of the shop my little man decided he was hungry, so instead of waiting the 30 mins to drive home, I sat in the back and fed him, when I got out, another mum started shouting at me that I was ‘inconsiderate’ as other people needed a space. Admittedly all the other parent and child spaces were taken. Am I in the wrong?