Appropriate age to go out

I am the kind of person who struggles with being at home all day, not good for my mental health. I have a 1 month old and I am trying to start doing things with her. Like going ti the park, running errands. But people seem surprised and kind of judgy that I am out with the baby at her age. Is this wrong?

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Nope! If you feel happy and confident to be out and about with your baby, then you do it!

I would have much earlier but it was Covid so o was more cautious. But I was out going for dog walks when she was a few days old!

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Not at all! I was out within the first week and it was November. As long as you are ready take your baby and enjoy :) you both need some fresh air and change of scenery sometimes ☺️

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Ignore the haters. The early months are the best time for going out as babies that age tend to nap often and can nap through any noise. TBH, I wish I went out more during the early months. 😂

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Not at all! I had to go out too. I wonder if it’s because they couldn’t imagine themselves going out with a young baby or when they had one, they couldn’t. The earlier you go out with baby the easier it becomes long term is my experience x

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I’ve been going out with my daughter since she was two weeks old. she loves the outside a lot and it’s part of her daily routine now to have one trip outside a day where she tends to have her longest nap. do whatever you think is best! Outside is amazing for babies especially when they are fussy

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I took my baby out by myself for the first time when she was 3 weeks old. Many people were really surprised. I fielded a lot of questions and just held her close so no one touched her. I think people were mostly impressed that I had her out and were kind to not touch her. Getting out of the house was and is crucial for my mental health.

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That's ridiculous 🙈

I was out and about immediately. You need to recover of course but getting on with daily life in a way that feels good to you is a part of that.

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I was out with my son and 4yo 2 days after he was born and we haven’t had many days inside since. If you’re happy to be out then go for it!

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I went out for walks in the park 5 days PP, I cannot stay indoors and it’s good for them to have fresh air. Obvs don’t do anything too crazy 😂😂

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Can't find the photo, but my daughter's first outing was to our community's fish fry. It was Saturday and she was born on Tuesday. She went to her first car meet Sunday.

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I had an emergency c-section and I was out and about with my daughter at 10 days old. We started baby groups at 4/5 weeks. If I'd stayed home, I'd have gone insane

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If it feels right for you then go for it! To give a different perspective from other comments, I seriously struggled getting out and about with my son for the first few months. I had some back to back health issues which didn't help because I couldn't use a baby carrier and my son absolutely hated being in his pram. Well hated being put down full stop lol but especially his pram. He would scream and scream so with that and my health issues it was really difficult and it was about 4 months before we started being able to get out for walks and stuff. He still hated his pram so it was still stressful but by that point I needed to do it for me. Without knowing what comments or whatever you've gotten that have made you feel judged, some of the surprise etc could be from people like myself who have really struggled those first few months. It may no be judgement but maybe a little surprise and jealousy that you're able to do it. But there definitely is no reason not to if it feels right for you.

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As long as you're feeling well enough (which you obviously are) then go for it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking baby out from a young age. If it's cold just wrap them up! Use your own judgement in terms of visiting busy places. It never bothered me but I know everyone feels differently.

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Unfortunately, people will be judgy no matter what decision you make with your baby. You know what’s best for you and your baby, so trust your gut!

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Ignore the judgement! We've been out and about since 7 days old! I'd lose the plot staying in xxxxx

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We took our son out 2 days after he was born.

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I took my baby out at 2 days old. Literally the morning after we got home from the hospital.

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Nope! I was taking walks three days after birth with my partner, and going for walks on my own by a month ❤️ I honestly think most people just expect new moms to be nervous and want to stay indoors ( which is perfectly fine!).

I did get the same response, I think it's completely normal to do what you are comfortable with

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We came home at 5pm ish on day 2. By 5pm on day 3 I was in the pub with my newborn. All my family were going (pre planned) and I wanted to go and felt well enough to so I did. I got a loooot of questions asking how old she was and when I told them they were all just surprised I was able to get out 3 days after giving birth. Screw what other people think do what’s best for you. We went out everyday after that to various places

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I also struggle to be in the house, I took her out when she was only a tiny prem! I even took her out when she still had her NG tube in! I just needed to get out. We'd go for very short walks or for like an hour in the shops or out for coffee. No judgement at all.

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I had an emergency c section and we were out doing shopping etc 10 days pp. It was slow going but once I was comfortable driving we were out almost daily. I also made a point of going out for daily walks. My now 16 month old is proving to be very out doorsy

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Do what is best for you, ignore them. I was out pretty much everyday after I brought my new born home. I thought that was normal to go out after birth?

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Been there, if people approach and are rude you can always tell a little white lie and say you're on your way back from seeing the health visitor, that usually shuts them up! Don't feel pressured into staying inside, you know your baby and as long as they're happy and wrapped up cozy, why shouldn't you be out in the fresh air with them? Do what you've got to do boo, it's none of their business x

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We went on our first outing 2-3 days after going home from the hospital because I am the same way.

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

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21

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

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26

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

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18

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

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Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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8

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

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