birthdays & stepdads..?
my little girls 2 soon & i have been with my partner since she was about 6 months old. what do other people do with ‘step parents’ and presents for birthdays? i’ve always said i feel some sort of contribution to decorations/presents is fair, but this seems to end in an argument. it costs a bomb and it would be nice for a little something towards it.
what are peoples opinions on this?
thanks x
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Sorry I’m a little confused, contribution from your partner (“step dad”) towards your child? x
If you’re together and share finances then I would expect the presents, decoration etc to come out of a joint account. If you’re finances are still separate and he doesn’t want to put anything toward her present then I would expect him to be buying a separate present
I’m just really confused why it would start an argument at the end of the day he’s been with you since the baby was very young and surely he he would want to help you out as his partner?? He’s been watching that baby grow up but he won’t contribute to the gifts or decorations? 🤯 it’s not like you’re asking him to cover the lot. If he’s like this already and you stay together long term and potentially have a child if you want more children… what will it be like with school uniforms, the constant buying of bigger size clothes, Christmas, birthday?. Will he only contribute to that for his own child? 😩 you and your child come as a package and he should definitely want to help x
I’ve been with my husband since his child was 3. I owned my own house, he rented, we didn’t share finances. If we went out as a family - I didn’t expect him to pay because “it was his child” we shared the load.
I actually earned more than him at the start, he now earns £12k more than me. When we finally moved in together when she was 4 our finances were similar so we both shared the cost of everything including his daughter (except child maintenance) but I contributed to clothes, holidays, birthdays, Christmas etc as I would if she was my own.
But that is me.
I would at the very least expect him to get your child a present, he’s been in their life a very long time and sounds like a consistent figure, the same way you would buy a friend a gift you’d had a constant relationship with.
The way I saw it, I knew I was going to be with my husband forever. She was an extension of him. They come as a pair. I’ve always treated her as if she was my own (without crossing boundaries) x
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