Anxiety over leaving child.

How do you feel about leaving your kids with family members?
I only trust 2 people… my partner & my MIL as they are both on my wavelength.

I love my mum but she’s so lax 🙈 she’s not really on the ball and often sits on her phone instead of supervising my 4yo which upsets me a bit. He’s had a few little accidents or situations where he’s “ran” off etc when she’s been out and about with him..

She’s always asking to have him over for a sleepover but it makes me anxious. I know I need time without my child. Am I overreacting?
I just want to know he’s safe and being looked after all the time as it’s a big thing for me to leave him 😞

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Not overreacting. If im not 1000000% sure someone is going to be paying very close attention to my kid, they’re not having him.

You are definitely not overreacting. If you don’t trust someone to watch your son, then you don’t have any obligation to leave him with them. I’ve struggled with this before worrying I would hurt someone’s feelings not letting someone watch my kids, but your son is your priority and so is his safety! You’re a good mama ❤️

Unless I trust you 100% you don't get to watch my kid. My eldest is 6 and he has never stayed overnight anywhere and we don't leave him with people

No is a full sentence, but if it makes you uncomfortable to refuse your mom's offer, I would ask her for something else that would be helpful to you that you would be comfortable with accepting. It gives you the out on the sleep over while maintaining her ability to be involved with your lives and appreciated for her help. For instance, if she offers a sleepover for this weekend, you can say no but ask her to help make cookies for the bake sale or setup before the birthday party or take his books back to the library and pick out some ones she thinks he'd like. You can offer for her to watch him at your house at a time that works for you, or bring snacks to his soccer game, or chaperonea school trip, etc. There are a million of these little things. I would be having her fill Easter eggs this week, just saying. 😉

My son hasn't had a sleepover and when he has stayed with grandparents we have also stayed with him. I don't trust my in laws to keep a good eye on him or feed him well and I don't trust anyone to protect him the way I do. He's done a few hours with family members, usually I arrange an activity for them to do with him so I know they are out. If grandparents are looking after him it's usually at our house and we are usually around working and on hand if needed.

I would never leave my LG with someone I couldn't trust. The only 2 people I trust to have my LG for sleep overs is my MIL and my partners ex (They have a 5 year-old together) and she had had sleepovers with them a few times now (8 months) first one at 6 months as we was moving so as much as I wasnt ready to leave her I knew she would be safe with my MIL who kept me updated and sent photos. Then she had a night with his ex and also kept me updated with photos and videos.

in our community

What would you have done…?

Grandparents asked to take our daughter out for the day. She did not want to go (she’s 5) and has been saying since last night she didn’t want to go out on her own with them and couldn’t we all go.

So told my husband this and he said “she will change her mind when they are here” 🙄

They arrive and she says still, she absolutely does not want to go out and wants to stay with mummy and daddy.

I let her stay home = very angry grandparents.

Would you have made your child go?

Inlaws/frosting

I don't know if I'm too emotional or what but my baby is 2 months old & my step FIL decided to give my girl a tiny finger of frosting. Knowing he wasn't supposed to be because he looked around the room seeing if anyone seen. I don't want people giving her anything she's not supposed to & i also feel like he just took that moment from me & dad. Am I wrong? I can't talk about it anywhere else & its been on my mind all night long because I'm so upset. & I'm not allowed to be.

Am I being tested? Wwyd?

- Partner says he's going for a quick bath
- Turns on the emersion as there's no hot water after his teenage son had one
- 2 hours later I ask him for support to make dinner
- he hasn't taken his bath yet so he says he'll have one and then make it for us
- another 2 hours go by before he comes down and decides to take our toddler for a walk. One which was completely random and out of routine.
- Finally he comes home and makes dinner

I'm absolutely starving - 6 months pregnant by the way. I'm avoiding conflict with him as he's trying to give up smokes right now, and I don't want our conflict being his reason for regressing and slipping back to his addiction

Unacceptable comments

Feeling very frustrated and angry at my partners comments. For context, we both work full time but I do 100% of the cooking and taking care of the household. He only helps assist with school pickups on the days I’m in the office. I ensure ALL of his food is prepped throughout the week which involves lots of batch cooking and I also cook fresh meals for dinner on the days I’m working at home. Keeping in mind he has never cooked for me or even heated up pre cooked food in the fridge for me, I come home from working in the office and there will be stacks of dishes even if he’s been at home on his day off.

This morning I have had terrible period cramps and he saw me multiple times rocking back and forth and in different positions trying to calm my cramps. It’s Sunday and usually he’d be working but he has the day off. We have come home from being out with the kids and he has asked me why I haven’t thought to cook for him.

I grew up in a home where Sunday dinners were cooked fresh and you spend time as a family, but he’s always working Sundays, only eats meal prep on that day and also he does not like me to cook when he is home. So today is no different, I have already pre cooked pasta bake, chicken, rice and potatoes and burgers in the fridge so there is plenty for the kids and him to eat.

He just told me that this is the reason why men (specifically referred to the man that his mother is dating who has a wife that he is cheating on but dating his mum for the benefits of her cooking and taking care of him). He referred to this man and said this is why men cheat, because the woman at home can’t be bothered but there’s other women out there that will do so much for them.

I am FURIOUS. I get no compassion when I have cramps and still expected to do everything. He doesn’t ever cook for me. It’s always what I should be doing for him!

Struggling mentally with TTC

I currently have a 5 year old and we finally decided this past November that we would like to expand our family. I never could have imagined how mentally difficult TTC is. We conceived our son accidentally, so we’ve never been through this before. My husband is absolutely fine with everything. Meanwhile I’m finding this one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through. We have been apart about 2 months that we’ve tried and also didn’t time it well on other months as I was still trying to learn my cycle, so I guess we’ve had 2 cycles now where everything has been “right” . It’s hard to wrap my head around doing this no birth control or protection and it just doesn’t work . But I feel like I’ve already seen so many negative pregnancy tests and it just feels so cruel. I would like to give my son a sibling so badly and it’s so hard when he is always telling me how much he wants one too. I just feel like I’m letting him down. Anyway I just had to vent and see if anyone else can relate or offer me any reassurance (please be kind as already I feel so vulnerable and upset).

Help with living on 2 floors 🤷‍♀️

I need help with something. This might not seem as serious for many, and I’m not sure why I find it so difficult but I need help in how to live and manage my daily life in a very very small 2 level (+ basement ) townhouse.

I’m a 35 year old female I moved here 8 months pregnant and my son is almost 2 and I have still not adjusted

The main floor has a small living room and dining room (no bathroom)
The 2nd floor has 2 bedrooms and bathroom
Basement has laundry and storage for pantry etc (and bathroom)

I find it complicating to go upstairs when I need something , then sometimes I reach up there I get distracted by something else

Now with our toddler , he doesn’t like to be left alone so with him in the picture it’s even more difficult

Also with our toddler , how to handle getting him dressed in the mornings to leave the house

Sometimes I get him dressed as he wakes up but when I go downstairs or eat , he sometimes messes himself up - I keep change of clothes downstairs but I sometimes don’t have a “suitable” outfit

Or should I get him dressed after eating

Idk I feel like I’ve been suffering and I’m not sure why - because I don’t know anyone living on 2 floors that find it as difficult as I do

I don’t hear my husband complain as much as me as it doesn’t bother him as much as me