Not matching efforts.

Lately I’ve been feeling a bit let down by a couple of people. One is my cousin in law and one is my friend.

Up until i moved an hour away I was very close to them both and spoke most days and saw them every week or fortnight.
I’m pregnant now (due soon) & I just had a “big” birthday last weekend.
Neither sent a card or came to see me. My partners cousin hasn’t even come to visit we’ve lived here 7 months!

Sometimes it takes days for them to reply and with my partners cousin I feel it’s just empty promises like “oh I’ll come and visit when my car is fixed” or “I’ve been so busy” baring in mind she doesn’t work & her kids are at school full time 🙄

I know what will happen they will all be eager to come over once my baby is born. They will make the effort then won’t they.

I always try and make the effort with friends & family ie send a txt and a birthday card or go and see people regularly. I can understand people matching my efforts and if I didn’t bother with them then I’d expect the same back but it does upset me & I know I can’t change other people’s intentions or efforts. What do I do? I feel if I call them out & say it bugs me they just use loads of excuses or it’ll be awkward afterwards…

in our community

How did you know you chose right? Long post sorry

My bd and I have been together for almost 3 years. We have a 16 month old daughter and another one due in a couple of weeks.

Our entire relationship has been so rocky and not really great. The week I was going to break up him two little lines popped up in a test. I figured that’s a sign to stay and work things out. That pregnancy he treated me decently. Postpartum was DREADFUL, I had PPD, no helpful village around they just cared to hold the baby so I could sleep or shower but in all honesty I wanted conv even if it was small talk or someone to sit beside me and watch tv or help with household chores/things since I had an emergency c-section so getting around was so painful and I wasn’t able to really take bath which was all I heard PP “go take a bath I have her.” (Well I can’t submerge water for 6 to 8 weeks doctors orders and I couldn’t stand long enough to shower alone). I gained really bad anxiety on top of that. I couldn’t even bond with my daughter (which is now crazy to think/look back on since she only wants me). I went back to work after 4 weeks (forced my boss not by choice couldn’t say no since my boss was my mom’s best friend). I cried for hours in bed in the evenings when my bd would get home and look after her. That continued for MONTHS. I never gained my sex drive back only got pregnant again because non-latex condoms are expensive and birth control fucks with my mental and physical health/state plus age requested sex since we haven’t since the birth of our daughter (she was close to 8 months old at the time) I respectfully said “I don’t know” he got annoyed and complained that we hadn’t fucked in so long so I rolled my eyes and said “whatever” and laid down I was too tired to fight/argue anymore that day.

BOOM 5 weeks later two lines on a test… he rushed to put a stupid ring on my fucking finger to avoid guilt and shame from his side. But honestly, this whole pregnancy I have felt so alone, and we have fought so much more. All he does is sleep after work hardly helps me with anything around the house or anything with our daughter. After one specific fight, I started to make a plan to leave him. I have followed through with that plan. The ultimate goal is to leave him but for me to be smart about this had the word it as I need time and space to think this through.

It’s so challenging because he’s making all these promises that he has made before, but I don’t believe them, but he tells me that this time he’s actually gonna go through with them. All of this is so psychological mindfucking because he’s so mean over text and then when we’re in person together, he looks at me like he’s a lost puppy and begs me every single chance he can to come back home. I’m waiting for my counselor to be back in office this week during our session in order to be able to go over a plan properly how to leave him and suggest co-parenting for now.

It’s like he’s mean over text and then we see each other for a split second so he can spend time with our daughter during that time he’s sweet and begs me to take him back and promising things will be different then later that night he’ll text me mean or continues to beg me to come home….

I feel like I’m choosing the right path but then also sometimes I question it….

Toddler mean to his grandma. Help 😟

My son is almost 3. He is a very intelligent, sweet and sensitive boy 🧡 but he is also very stubborn and head strong. He is quite mean to my mum and it really gets me down. I can’t understand why. She is like a third parent to him. Literally does SO MUCH for him and for us overall. He just doesn’t show her love like he does with his other 2 grandparents and it breaks my heart. He keeps answering back at her, doesn’t show excitement when seeing her and rarely initiates a cuddle or a kiss. Does he just not like her? It’s sad because she’s besotted by him. I don’t think she’s ever loved anyone like she loves him 💔. Any advice? 😥 Xx

These messages bother me from my mother in law for some reason

Idk why they bother me. It feels like she wants me to mother him

Would you tell your kids they aren’t allowed to play certain sports?

Please explain in the comments.

Just venting

I’m just venting. I got married on the 31 of December 2025. I only did it because I wanted my child to have a two parent house hold. The problem I’m having is I don’t trust my partner. He’s a composer cheater in my eyes. He believe that all men cheat. And all women do is cheat but hid it well. It’s just temptation. It just makes me sad because at one point I really did love him. But I felt like I should had left when he cheated the first time,when I told him I was pregnant. I haven’t left yet hoping he will change. As a 30 year old man that still has a child mindset. It’s so much more. I’m just tired. Positive note, Happy 2 months to my little love!!!

20 month old tantrums are killing me off...

I've done something I very rarely do and dropped my toddler off at my mum's for an hour to go and have a coffee alone. Sleep regression and teething and my periods due is turning me into a pressure cooker of anger atm. It's at the point where we're having 5+ tantrums before breakfast nowadays. One because he doesn't want his morning nappy changed and dressed for the day. Then he doesn't want daddy to go for a shower, he wants him to read books with him. Then because he wants to go downstairs while I'm trying to get dressed and quickly do my hair...then because I wouldn't let him watch teletubbies...then because I said he can't go outside into the wet garden with no jumper or shoes and socks...😭😭
I am... exhausted....
I use half an hour of teletubbies most mornings to allow myself peace to get the cleaning up and prep for the day done but I think I'll have to just say no TV at all anymore because of his behaviour over it. When does it get a tiny bit easier or have I just got an angry little boy....