Midwive demeanour

Can you not ask for a different midwife? She can’t be the only one

This is why I went private, is that an option for you? Or a doula? Where in the UK are you? You don’t have to put up with a midwife’s crappy attitude though. If you have instagram then check these accounts out so you know your birth rights etc

@emma_ashworth_birth_rights
@happyhealthybirthuk
@thegreenmidwife
@popthatmumma
@kemibirthjoyjohnson
@birth_ed
@theliverpooldoula_

I think that it might be an option to switch but require an increased journey.

And unfortunately Danni, no not at the moment. But i can see why. I don't understand as women should champion fellow women, especially at vulnerable stages.

Impossible to be certain but might be worth giving them a second chance. If you read up on midwives working conditions it can be extremely demanding. Some community midwives have to cover the wards or home births overnight between their clinics. Maybe they are disillusioned by the job and conditions it's hard to keep up a positive character. Midwives are human and have real lives outside of work and whilst it's best to leave home at home, partners can have affairs, parents die, sudden unexpected unaffordable expenses happen which can have an affect on your demeanour or maybe she's just a grumpy lady!

Midwives have a duty of care, and if they are not able to cope with the pressure or uphold professional standards, then they are in the wrong profession. Yes, they are human, but their personal lives should never interfere with someone else’s pregnancy or birth experience. Their role is to remain professional, because poor care can cause unnecessary stress and anxiety for pregnant women, and when a mother is stressed, that can affect the baby too. Too often, women are left feeling dismissed, unsupported, or that their birth rights have been overlooked, which is exactly why it is so important to prepare and advocate for yourself in advance.

For the avoidance of doubt, I had a friend with me who has never had appointments before as not needed. She commented saying wow, and the UK government wants an increase in the birth population.

As I am aware pregnancy hormones can have odd reactions or responses due to heightened state. So self checked I wasn't being unreasonable.

yep it's not ideal that personal lives interfere in work but they aren't perfect and may have been having an off day. Look up Leah hazard on Instagram she has multiple stories of midwives being put in dangerous situations through poor staffing and unsafe workloads. Midwives who are going through miscarriages and being told to come into work, it's hard to carry on as if nothing is happening, midwifery like nursing isn't particularly caring or understanding of their actual staff. I think midwifery is in crisis because they are being put under intolerable pressure that means that they aren't deliver the standard of care they want to through not fault of their own. It's called moral injury and has been increasingly stark in the NHS the last few years. Yes there are people who shouldn't be practicing but the majority genuinely care and try their best